Hairblues wrote: ↑
8 months ago
I'm definitely not ganging up on you.
I also DO know you as self-analyzing as you have done so privately with me in past via PM, I know you're human.
I don't agree with all of what he's saying about you, but I did agree with some of it.
Upvotes as have been discussed before aren't always about agreeing with posts in totality but some partiality.
However, you have said things to me in the past during back/forth on this forum that were wrong about me and my own character wihin a post, so when you do it to other people I do think you look a little too deep at times for bad in others.
I didn't mean for it to sound like you
are intentionally ganging up on me, that was with regards to Afro bringing you in to his own posts as a "gang" mentality, saying "look! 2 people are telling you that you're wrong! And nobody agrees with you! So either admit it or you can't take any criticism you narcissist!". But I didn't mean that to come across you were at fault, but that's how he brought you in to it within his own posts (you were already saying your bit anyway). And no I don't take Upvotes for posts against me personally, as I am aware you can agree with the sentiment of the post but not necessarily everything. So no really, that wasn't referring to any way you acted.
I do appreciate you balancing up what you feel about me here and for some that isn't easy to do when you're seen as being on "a side" (which I know you don't intend), and which is actually part of why we started PMing in the first place. It's also why I quickly found out that I could be wrong about you from my initial characterisation, and I know I've done it since as well, which I don't know if it was resolved, but I guess we could talk about that another time.
The point generally is that my initial instinct was proved wrong about you, but to me that's an exception, most of the time I feel people's reactions to that initial criticism or even slight character dissection, reveals how that actually I might have been correct in my assumption.
About me, the main issue brought up about me here is whether I'm antagonising people out of constructive criticism, or whether it's letting off steam/sadism, and I'll admit that it's a mixture of both, but heavily weighted on being constructive (you and afro probably disagree), of course at times it's letting off steam, especially in cases where I've tried being constructive and it's not getting through.
A third reason and for me is most relevant, is that I see these same faults and thought processes in others, in the same way that I have seen in myself in some way. And when I see someone behaving a certain way, which I've behaved myself at some point (and all people can relate in some way to how others behave in any circumstance) it's something that makes me feel a compulsion to understand, because I've probably in some way behaved similarly in the past, or still do. So when someone behaves a certain way or continually behaves a certain way, I have some access to try and understand why that happened, why they think this is acceptable, why they'll continue to think this is acceptable, because I'm at a search in myself as to what made me like that in any relatable way.
I found it bizarre to me that I never self-reflect or feel negatively about myself (which was not your argument) because on HairLossTalk I went through a stage of a lot of my posts being solely about that, beating myself up thoroughly, analysing how every good act I've ever felt was down to pure human greed, and even the most thoughtful, humble and unrewarded thing I could do would result in thinking "I only did that because I could secretly feel good about it, and probably tell someone about it at some point anyway".
It's no surprise that I'm incredibly cynical towards people (including myself), and actually I think most people are, but it depends for them, which people you see as favourable towards you, or unfavourable towards you. Trying to really understand this has been everything to me.
EvilLocks wrote: ↑
8 months ago
I get the feeling he doesn't like me, and when I get that feeling I'm often right. It's different with @CaptainForehead, although he disagrees with me as much as or maybe even more than @Rudiger I never get the feeling that he has this hidden dislike for me. I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like.
With Pat I don't really think he dislikes me per se, but I think some things I say frustrate him (and visa versa)
I just realized something from your post and that is I don't know one thing about who Rudiger is a a person. He's never told us any personal stories as far as I have seen. But yeah, he's quick to judge others when they choose to tell their stories.
Yeah, my story was incredibly misplaced and I see that now, but I didn't when I posted it. What's funny is that @Afro_Vacancy seems completely fine about the whole thing although he wasn't feeling the story clearly, but Rudiger is the one who overreacts although he wasn't even part of it.
Maybe even more? I don't think we've disagreed much at all, afro only gave up when he was pushed to use the Search function and realised this, you can do the same. Our biggest disagreement was me denying that I called you an idiot, our most recent disagreement in this thread is relating to something that you are now actually agreeing with.
And with regards to that, you only "see that now" because I pointed it out, if you read back on your reaction to him, you were clearly just annoyed/dismissive that he didn't appreciate the story you typed out.
Now? You realise it. And people are telling me I care nothing about being constructive with my criticism. It's about being self-aware on how you rub off on others, and you wouldn't do that again, here or in real life.