Better body image after hair transplant

Discuss hair transplant techniques (FUE and FUT), surgeons, results, etc.
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Afro_Vacancy
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
The post was to school someone (or, give advice) on being considerate when they are intending to be, and failing badly. You are creating a hyprocisy in the way that I have been inconsiderate towards afro in particular, the vital difference being that I wasn't at all intending to be considerate.

I said an apology wasn't even completely necessary, and to clarify I didn't even mean it's somewhat necessary, just optional. I personally don't think she had to, and I'd say she agrees, as she only did it after my observation. Her main concern was she typed out a story that wasn't appreciated.

What I wrote:

"I mean since my observation you've at least acknowledged the faux pas more strongly and apologised, which is not even completely necessary, just an acknowledgement instead of "it was just my funny story ok I found it funny"."

But I don't think she had to apologise because she didn't intend to hurt anyone, and in this case likely didn't really hurt afro, I just pointed out the social ineptitude of thinking "this is gonna cheer him up!". Then after not even realising how it looked from his perspective.

And I wrote about it while not necessarily caring about evil, but seeing this same self-involved lack of empathy or perspective in a decent amount of people, which is a bit frustrating but all in all, sad, I feel for them. Everyone around them thinks the same thing, like when they go out of their way to tell of their "tragedy", people feel a sense of cringe and embarrassment for them, and of course it does not make them any more likeable.

I did write that it's especially worthwhile to have this realisation in real life more than anything, but in all honesty she's probably worse in real life, in writing that post she had a lot of time to think "maybe he won't actually appreciate this?" but ploughed on with the funny story, and didn't even realise it on reflection (again, since I pointed it out). In real life people can blurt out even more insensitively tone deaf things without a second thought, and I could be wrong about evil on this, but we'll never know because of her brief brattish reaction to me (another prejudgment, I bet this happens frequently, without awareness).

My initial post didn't savagely attack her, or say she's intending to hurt anyone (apparently I'm the one who puts words in her mouth, ok) it was simply to say to be aware of this and recognize it, but instead people would rather just reassure her that it was a funny story, don't worry about it, keep doing it no big deal, friends probably love you for your quirky stories at such moments - this doesn't represent a bad character trait at all because no harm was done, so embrace it.

Similar case in point - you tell a guy he's showing manic traits, you have spotted signs of delusion for a long time, and it's only getting worse, and one way or another will result in a terrible crash in mood eventually - that you can't keep riding this wave forever, reality will always catch up and you can't trick it. The nurturing virtue signallers will berate how insensitive that is, "trying to put down a guy with a positive attitude as deluded, shame".

And all it takes is a non-violent mugging from some kids for him to spiral in to what seems to be complete breakdown, and my concern of that situation was real at the time, but I don't think it should equate to weeks of torment, not in a person grounded in reality at least.

But what's more important? Well if you have tunnel vision - just let the guy live it up and be happy, stop being such a downer, he does better than most guys on Bumble (with a standard of girl not revealed or remotely touched on) and his wave of positivity has no end in sight.

And fine, to @EvilLocks, you do you boo, I'm sure you eventually still would even if you did take a second to actually reflect, and I mean reflect more on yourself instead of giving pointlessly insincere apologies.
Since my cell phone's browser didn't have a login cookie, I read your post, and I have to say: you are so fucking narcissistic and presupposing, it's unbelievable.

First, concerning @EvilLocks, you absolutely were nasty to her in a way that was completely unnecessary. You were obviously not trying to give her "constructive feedback", you were trying to put her down. That can be seen in the tone with which you wrote your post, that you didn't bother explaining your position, the fact that you have been attacking her a lot recently and randomly chasing after her, as well as the fact that this is what you do. You genuinely enjoy attacking people, you have by now gone after the majority of the active users here. Nobody has attacked more posters than you have. You have the largest fraction of posts of any active user which are personal attacks, and you're probably proud about it. It is also the case that the point that you made to her was completely useless to write up -- it had already been written. Was there any benefit to reiterating it? Well yes, the benefit was the joy that you derived from attacking her.

Your post also includes this completely idiotic comment:
And all it takes is a non-violent mugging from some kids for him to spiral in to what seems to be complete breakdown
This is yet another example of you writing complete garbage just so that you have the pleasure of denigrating another person. I'm not sure if you're just trying to be mean by writing that, or if you're actually that much of a fucking moron that you believe that comment. So let me explain things to you: No, it's not just the fucking mugging. It's the mugging which I've described, the breakup which I haven't described, and a couple other things involving family, work, and health that I have not discussed at all.

But let's assume that you actually believe what you wrote -- what would possess you to assume something that is so irrational to assume? You should reflect on that, because the assumption that you made is really dumb. I think that it's simple, and you can take it as constructive feedback. You like to jump to conclusions, and you particularly like to jump to conclusions if it helps you view people in a bad light. Here you're assuming that I'm having a complete nervous breakdown because of a mugging and because I didn't listen to your sage advice -- that's a view of the world which is flattering to you, and which is denigrating of others. Of course you jump to that conclusion as fast as possible, ignoring the fact that it doesn't actually make sense.

What a more emotionally mature person might have done in your situation, might have been to write the following:
"Afro, your emotional response to a mugging seems a little excessive. Are there other things that are bothering you?"
Instead, what you did:
"Shit ! Afro is having a complete nervous breakdown due to a simple mugging from some kids !! That's because he wasn't listening to my advice to be less delusional !! Why don't more of you fucking idiots accept that I'm the benevolent giver of constructive feedback and sage wisdom !?!?"

Please, get some empathy, some tact, and some self-awareness. Your advice is sometimes wise, sometimes not, because you like to presuppose using a framework of the world that is flattering to you and denigrating of others.

PS: You know what's another indicator that you lack self-awareness... relative to other posters, you never poke fun at yourself, you never acknowledge struggle, nothing. As far as you're concerned, it's always other people's fault.
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Hairblues » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
Since my cell phone's browser didn't have a login cookie, I read your post, and I have to say: you are so fucking narcissistic and presupposing, it's unbelievable.

First, concerning @EvilLocks, you absolutely were nasty to her in a way that was completely unnecessary. You were obviously not trying to give her "constructive feedback", you were trying to put her down. That can be seen in the tone with which you wrote your post, that you didn't bother explaining your position, the fact that you have been attacking her a lot recently and randomly chasing after her, as well as the fact that this is what you do. You genuinely enjoy attacking people, you have by now gone after the majority of the active users here. Nobody has attacked more posters than you have. You have the largest fraction of posts of any active user which are personal attacks, and you're probably proud about it. It is also the case that the point that you made to her was completely useless to write up -- it had already been written. Was there any benefit to reiterating it? Well yes, the benefit was the joy that you derived from attacking her.

Your post also includes this completely idiotic comment:
And all it takes is a non-violent mugging from some kids for him to spiral in to what seems to be complete breakdown
This is yet another example of you writing complete garbage just so that you have the pleasure of denigrating another person. I'm not sure if you're just trying to be mean by writing that, or if you're actually that much of a fucking moron that you believe that comment. So let me explain things to you: No, it's not just the fucking mugging. It's the mugging which I've described, the breakup which I haven't described, and a couple other things involving family, work, and health that I have not discussed at all.

But let's assume that you actually believe what you wrote -- what would possess you to assume something that is so irrational to assume? You should reflect on that, because the assumption that you made is really dumb. I think that it's simple, and you can take it as constructive feedback. You like to jump to conclusions, and you particularly like to jump to conclusions if it helps you view people in a bad light. Here you're assuming that I'm having a complete nervous breakdown because of a mugging and because I didn't listen to your sage advice -- that's a view of the world which is flattering to you, and which is denigrating of others. Of course you jump to that conclusion as fast as possible, ignoring the fact that it doesn't actually make sense.

What a more emotionally mature person might have done in your situation, might have been to write the following:
"Afro, your emotional response to a mugging seems a little excessive. Are there other things that are bothering you?"
Instead, what you did:
"Shit ! Afro is having a complete nervous breakdown due to a simple mugging from some kids !! That's because he wasn't listening to my advice to be less delusional !! Why don't more of you fucking idiots accept that I'm the benevolent giver of constructive feedback and sage wisdom !?!?"

Please, get some empathy, some tact, and some self-awareness. Your advice is sometimes wise, sometimes not, because you like to presuppose using a framework of the world that is flattering to you and denigrating of others.

PS: You know what's another indicator that you lack self-awareness... relative to other posters, you never poke fun at yourself, you never acknowledge struggle, nothing. As far as you're concerned, it's always other people's fault.
I don’t even think your response to a mugging is overblown from what I read. Unless I missed something.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Rudiger » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
Since my cell phone's browser didn't have a login cookie, I read your post, and I have to say: you are so fucking narcissistic and presupposing, it's unbelievable.

First, concerning @EvilLocks, you absolutely were nasty to her in a way that was completely unnecessary. You were obviously not trying to give her "constructive feedback", you were trying to put her down. That can be seen in the tone with which you wrote your post, that you didn't bother explaining your position, the fact that you have been attacking her a lot recently and randomly chasing after her, as well as the fact that this is what you do. You genuinely enjoy attacking people, you have by now gone after the majority of the active users here. Nobody has attacked more posters than you have. You have the largest fraction of posts of any active user which are personal attacks, and you're probably proud about it. It is also the case that the point that you made to her was completely useless to write up -- it had already been written. Was there any benefit to reiterating it? Well yes, the benefit was the joy that you derived from attacking her.

Your post also includes this completely idiotic comment:
And all it takes is a non-violent mugging from some kids for him to spiral in to what seems to be complete breakdown
This is yet another example of you writing complete garbage just so that you have the pleasure of denigrating another person. I'm not sure if you're just trying to be mean by writing that, or if you're actually that much of a fucking moron that you believe that comment. So let me explain things to you: No, it's not just the fucking mugging. It's the mugging which I've described, the breakup which I haven't described, and a couple other things involving family, work, and health that I have not discussed at all.

But let's assume that you actually believe what you wrote -- what would possess you to assume something that is so irrational to assume? You should reflect on that, because the assumption that you made is really dumb. I think that it's simple, and you can take it as constructive feedback. You like to jump to conclusions, and you particularly like to jump to conclusions if it helps you view people in a bad light. Here you're assuming that I'm having a complete nervous breakdown because of a mugging and because I didn't listen to your sage advice -- that's a view of the world which is flattering to you, and which is denigrating of others. Of course you jump to that conclusion as fast as possible, ignoring the fact that it doesn't actually make sense.

What a more emotionally mature person might have done in your situation, might have been to write the following:
"Afro, your emotional response to a mugging seems a little excessive. Are there other things that are bothering you?"
Instead, what you did:
"Shit ! Afro is having a complete nervous breakdown due to a simple mugging from some kids !! That's because he wasn't listening to my advice to be less delusional !! Why don't more of you fucking idiots accept that I'm the benevolent giver of constructive feedback and sage wisdom !?!?"

Please, get some empathy, some tact, and some self-awareness. Your advice is sometimes wise, sometimes not, because you like to presuppose using a framework of the world that is flattering to you and denigrating of others.

PS: You know what's another indicator that you lack self-awareness... relative to other posters, you never poke fun at yourself, you never acknowledge struggle, nothing. As far as you're concerned, it's always other people's fault.
I was pretty blunt about Evil in this thread but absolutely nasty and completely unnecessary? If she had been absent minded in telling her story then maybe it would be unnecessary to call her oblivious, but she was in how she reacted to you, and while I wasn't going to outright attack her (which I didn't) I also don't need to explain my position so thoroughly from every politest angle so that she understands. I do like giving constructive criticism, I don't expect to have to spell it out letter by letter to people, it just goes over their head in a short space of time.

Besides in my next post to her reply, I did take a lot more time explaining exactly my position anyway.

Also like I said this was only partially constructive for evil, it was also written because I just don't like seeing it generally, I don't encourage it in people themselves (like evil) and I don't encourage others to pretend like it's fine (which I like that you didn't). I didn't like that she didn't even acknowledge you and just seemed annoyed her story didn't go down well, and I didn't like @Hairblues playing it down.

I was not just reiterating a point you made (well arguably), but doing that and vitally - her lack of reaction to it, which is a lot more crucial when it comes to people re-evaluating, and the reason I felt it was necessary to post about it.

As for attacking her a lot and randomly chasing after her? I've written a few posts about evil recently (not including this thread), both were Pat related and close to each other (one was practically a joke), then before that was a good few months ago, and that was the start, the origin of my "attacking her a lot".

OK I'll accept that my opinion can be seen as a jump in logic to come to such a conclusion, and one that conveniently fits my recent prediction (or advice to avoid the prediction), but I still honestly think this, if it's wrong then fine I'm wrong and only you can know this.

The first thing you mention is breakup, and the "couple" other things (involving 3 other parts of your life OK) so fuck it, to me this is clearly breakup related, and you seem to be separating that from delusions of being more and more attractive to women? You can call it narcissistic or presumptuous and onwards, to me it's pretty clear what happened, and to me there's one reason you're struggling so much, and the mugging just triggered it.

And let's say I am wrong about this and it is a wrong assumption - I still think it's fairer to tell someone the truth about how they're perceiving themselves (and not even necessarily in my own personal view, but the different way they perceived themselves a year ago) because even if this mugging trauma is unrelated to delusion, it will still only lead to worse thoughts about yourself in the long run.

That's not to say you should feel shit about yourself for things beyond your control, but you seem completely gone with it regarding dating success, and especially about your hair transplant which hasn't remotely started to fill in yet.

That's my assumptions/advice/nasty attacks, of course possibly wrong, take it or leave it, or continue pretending like you're Ignoring it.
Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago
So you’re now saying @Afro_Vacancy is having a complete break down? Because he was mugged and has a broken heart?
Actually it was the part about almost crying in a restaurant, I wrote that it seems like he's having a complete break down, and considering time has passed since the mugging.

Again I can be completely wrong with this, it's not easy to make assumptions from someone in real life by reading their posts, I know I've done this in this thread with both evil and afro. But like afro just wrote again how I definitely get off on putting others down (he isn't the only one to think this or relate it to recurring arguments as definite proof), and while I may be cynical only I can know if that reflects me in my life or even my intentions on here.

So I don't even (usually) care to comment on this at all, if anything being desperate to push the opposite idea would just show how close to the apparent truth that others are getting at. I think if you do make assumptions on how people are and you get close, you'll normally get a spirited reaction, and that may seem like a cruel "goal" (or if it's a negative assumption and turns out to be wrong, then all the better) but in the short term but at least it makes them fucking think.

For now I'm still sticking to assuming it's a break down, if I'm wrong then great, but I'll also still stick to saying this delusional behaviour will inevitably lead to that breakdown. And I do realise that there's no way of being wrong or right on that, and I don't care on being either, that's just what I see as most likey to happen, and what, if I were him, I'd try to avoid.
me me me me I'm the omniscient and compassionate Rudiger

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
I was pretty blunt about Evil in this thread but absolutely nasty and completely unnecessary? If she had been absent minded in telling her story then maybe it would be unnecessary to call her oblivious, but she was in how she reacted to you, and while I wasn't going to outright attack her (which I didn't) I also don't need to explain my position so thoroughly from every politest angle so that she understands. I do like giving constructive criticism, I don't expect to have to spell it out letter by letter to people, it just goes over their head in a short space of time.

Besides in my next post to her reply, I did take a lot more time explaining exactly my position anyway.

Also like I said this was only partially constructive for evil, it was also written because I just don't like seeing it generally, I don't encourage it in people themselves (like evil) and I don't encourage others to pretend like it's fine (which I like that you didn't). I didn't like that she didn't even acknowledge you and just seemed annoyed her story didn't go down well, and I didn't like @Hairblues playing it down.

I was not just reiterating a point you made (well arguably), but doing that and vitally - her lack of reaction to it, which is a lot more crucial when it comes to people re-evaluating, and the reason I felt it was necessary to post about it.

As for attacking her a lot and randomly chasing after her? I've written a few posts about evil recently (not including this thread), both were Pat related and close to each other (one was practically a joke), then before that was a good few months ago, and that was the start, the origin of my "attacking her a lot".

OK I'll accept that my opinion can be seen as a jump in logic to come to such a conclusion, and one that conveniently fits my recent prediction (or advice to avoid the prediction), but I still honestly think this, if it's wrong then fine I'm wrong and only you can know this.

The first thing you mention is breakup, and the "couple" other things (involving 3 other parts of your life OK) so fuck it, to me this is clearly breakup related, and you seem to be separating that from delusions of being more and more attractive to women? You can call it narcissistic or presumptuous and onwards, to me it's pretty clear what happened, and to me there's one reason you're struggling so much, and the mugging just triggered it.

And let's say I am wrong about this and it is a wrong assumption - I still think it's fairer to tell someone the truth about how they're perceiving themselves (and not even necessarily in my own personal view, but the different way they perceived themselves a year ago) because even if this mugging trauma is unrelated to delusion, it will still only lead to worse thoughts about yourself in the long run.

That's not to say you should feel shit about yourself for things beyond your control, but you seem completely gone with it regarding dating success, and especially about your hair transplant which hasn't remotely started to fill in yet.

That's my assumptions/advice/nasty attacks, of course possibly wrong, take it or leave it, or continue pretending like you're Ignoring it.



Actually it was the part about almost crying in a restaurant, I wrote that it seems like he's having a complete break down, and considering time has passed since the mugging.

Again I can be completely wrong with this, it's not easy to make assumptions from someone in real life by reading their posts, I know I've done this in this thread with both evil and afro. But like afro just wrote again how I definitely get off on putting others down (he isn't the only one to think this or relate it to recurring arguments as definite proof), and while I may be cynical only I can know if that reflects me in my life or even my intentions on here.

So I don't even (usually) care to comment on this at all, if anything being desperate to push the opposite idea would just show how close to the apparent truth that others are getting at. I think if you do make assumptions on how people are and you get close, you'll normally get a spirited reaction, and that may seem like a cruel "goal" (or if it's a negative assumption and turns out to be wrong, then all the better) but in the short term but at least it makes them fucking think.

For now I'm still sticking to assuming it's a break down, if I'm wrong then great, but I'll also still stick to saying this delusional behaviour will inevitably lead to that breakdown. And I do realise that there's no way of being wrong or right on that, and I don't care on being either, that's just what I see as most likey to happen, and what, if I were him, I'd try to avoid.
You've done a splendid job of validating my post.

But let's break down something that you wrote:
I may be cynical only I can know if that reflects me in my life or even my intentions on here.
Normally, that would be true, but in your case you lack self-awareness, and thus your ability to self-assess is impaired. This in general applies to everybody to some extent, nobody has perfect self-awareness, but you however are exceptional.

I'll reiterate that you never discuss or acknowledge your own failings, your own struggled, and you never poke fun at yourself. As a contrast, here are some things that other people have written in the past few pages:

From @Pat:
It would be amusing that a baby is named after my (or George Costanza's) suggestion as that's probably the closest I'll ever get to actually having a baby.

From @Johnson:
When I was a nw1 at 20 years old I looked decent but I was a little too skinny and dressed like some pseudo bohemian. This was complimented by relatively bad skin, questionable hair styles, thin facial hair, and a general shyness with anyone I didn't know that worked as a shield to new people.

From @pjhair:
Also, I think I should try minoxidl for some time before considering hair transplant. I even bought rogain foam and used it once. But then I chickened out and stopped using it. I was worried about facial bloating and other skin related side effects. It's probably irrational ...

From @CaptainForehead:
I do have PTSD from my struggles ages 12-to now.
Most people in developing/poor countries dont have the memories you are talking about. Those happy memories are mostly
the domain of the elite (ie white people in rich countries).

The rest of us have to resort to some form of drugs (real or figurative) to escape a shit life. Overeating/drinking/TV/Video games/Fantasy books/actual drugs/religion.


You see those examples of humanity? We never see that kind of reflection from you, you only ever show that kind of critique toward others, you never self-assess, you never acknowledge, nothing. That's not normal. I think that part of the reason that you are the most vicious poster on the forum by an overwhelming margin is that you can't acknowledge your own internal struggles, and so you end up channeling that frustration outwards. Given that factor, it is simply not the case that only you can know if that reflects on your or your life life or even your intentions on here.

Now for another point, you wrote this idiotic comment:
The first thing you mention is breakup, and the "couple" other things (involving 3 other parts of your life OK)
Are you serious?
People use the term "a couple" to refer to "2,3, or 4" things on a regular base. It's equivalent to how people use the word decimate for large reductions that are different from 90%. Language evolves over time, it's fine. Nobody had a problem with that but you, partly because you like to look for problems, and plausibly because your mind might do it automatically.

Anyway, from Merriam-Webster:
"an indefinite small number : FEW"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple

Edited to add: You wrote the following narcissistic phrase,
I do like giving constructive criticism
You don't, you like denigrating others and tearing them down.
If you were actually some sort of Cassandra who liked to shower the truth to the world, your criticisms would be accompanied by praise in other posts. But you give very little praise. You rarely see or acknowledge the good in others and their actions, but you are like a sprinter when it comes to the (alleged) bad.
Last edited by Afro_Vacancy 1 month ago, edited 1 time in total.
PhD in Internalized Incelism.

"I do still post to criticise others" - Rudiger.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Hairblues » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
I was pretty blunt about Evil in this thread but absolutely nasty and completely unnecessary? If she had been absent minded in telling her story then maybe it would be unnecessary to call her oblivious, but she was in how she reacted to you, and while I wasn't going to outright attack her (which I didn't) I also don't need to explain my position so thoroughly from every politest angle so that she understands. I do like giving constructive criticism, I don't expect to have to spell it out letter by letter to people, it just goes over their head in a short space of time.

Besides in my next post to her reply, I did take a lot more time explaining exactly my position anyway.

Also like I said this was only partially constructive for evil, it was also written because I just don't like seeing it generally, I don't encourage it in people themselves (like evil) and I don't encourage others to pretend like it's fine (which I like that you didn't). I didn't like that she didn't even acknowledge you and just seemed annoyed her story didn't go down well, and I didn't like @Hairblues playing it down.

I was not just reiterating a point you made (well arguably), but doing that and vitally - her lack of reaction to it, which is a lot more crucial when it comes to people re-evaluating, and the reason I felt it was necessary to post about it.

As for attacking her a lot and randomly chasing after her? I've written a few posts about evil recently (not including this thread), both were Pat related and close to each other (one was practically a joke), then before that was a good few months ago, and that was the start, the origin of my "attacking her a lot".

OK I'll accept that my opinion can be seen as a jump in logic to come to such a conclusion, and one that conveniently fits my recent prediction (or advice to avoid the prediction), but I still honestly think this, if it's wrong then fine I'm wrong and only you can know this.

The first thing you mention is breakup, and the "couple" other things (involving 3 other parts of your life OK) so fuck it, to me this is clearly breakup related, and you seem to be separating that from delusions of being more and more attractive to women? You can call it narcissistic or presumptuous and onwards, to me it's pretty clear what happened, and to me there's one reason you're struggling so much, and the mugging just triggered it.

And let's say I am wrong about this and it is a wrong assumption - I still think it's fairer to tell someone the truth about how they're perceiving themselves (and not even necessarily in my own personal view, but the different way they perceived themselves a year ago) because even if this mugging trauma is unrelated to delusion, it will still only lead to worse thoughts about yourself in the long run.

That's not to say you should feel shit about yourself for things beyond your control, but you seem completely gone with it regarding dating success, and especially about your hair transplant which hasn't remotely started to fill in yet.

That's my assumptions/advice/nasty attacks, of course possibly wrong, take it or leave it, or continue pretending like you're Ignoring it.



Actually it was the part about almost crying in a restaurant, I wrote that it seems like he's having a complete break down, and considering time has passed since the mugging.

Again I can be completely wrong with this, it's not easy to make assumptions from someone in real life by reading their posts, I know I've done this in this thread with both evil and afro. But like afro just wrote again how I definitely get off on putting others down (he isn't the only one to think this or relate it to recurring arguments as definite proof), and while I may be cynical only I can know if that reflects me in my life or even my intentions on here.

So I don't even (usually) care to comment on this at all, if anything being desperate to push the opposite idea would just show how close to the apparent truth that others are getting at. I think if you do make assumptions on how people are and you get close, you'll normally get a spirited reaction, and that may seem like a cruel "goal" (or if it's a negative assumption and turns out to be wrong, then all the better) but in the short term but at least it makes them fucking think.

For now I'm still sticking to assuming it's a break down, if I'm wrong then great, but I'll also still stick to saying this delusional behaviour will inevitably lead to that breakdown. And I do realise that there's no way of being wrong or right on that, and I don't care on being either, that's just what I see as most likey to happen, and what, if I were him, I'd try to avoid.
I just find some of your perceptions to be off and you don’t seem in my opinion to have good intentions...which is your perogative but when I see you post things like your giving constructive criticism I find it disingenuous. Also when you say things like (forget the wording you used) you’re trying to school people to be considererare it sounds kind of funny to me that you’re going to be the one to teach someone about thinking before they post and to be considerate...I don’t find you to be a considerate poster (and you don’t have to be) but like talk about tone deaf.

I didn’t ‘play it down’. I said I thought it was funny. And I did. I chuckled that she shoved a guy and next day his leg was broken.like a comedy of errors.
That’s separate and distinct from Weather it’s going to miss the mark with Afro. I HB, can be amused by a story that I also think will miss the mark for a guy with a broken heart.

Also, He already spoke up for himself, I didn’t feel the need to speak for him. He already did so.
They have a long online friendship on these forums so I don’t need to spank her for something that’s really between the two of them when he already spoke for himself.

The thing you should think about is why it matters so much to you when neither of these people are people you care about or even seem to like (at least you don’t seem to from postings over time)
you just seem to search for things to be outraged over and call people out over for a very long time now.
And your reactions are often way over blown to the precieved offense.
It has a cumulative effect on how your individual posts are going to be read.
You do often try to imply people are not well mentally or you speculate that posters are being suspicious and insincere as if they are being dublicitous..
sometimes you have good insight but it gets so muddied by your overly aggressive tone and sometimes you just sound paranoid and that adage that even a broken clock gets it right 2x.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Rudiger » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
You've done a splendid job of validating my post.

But let's break down something that you wrote:
I may be cynical only I can know if that reflects me in my life or even my intentions on here.
Normally, that would be true, but in your case you lack self-awareness, and thus your ability to self-assess is impaired. This in general applies to everybody to some extent, nobody has perfect self-awareness, but you however are exceptional.

I'll reiterate that you never discuss or acknowledge your own failings, your own struggled, and you never poke fun at yourself. As a contrast, here are some things that other people have written in the past few pages:

From @Pat:
It would be amusing that a baby is named after my (or George Costanza's) suggestion as that's probably the closest I'll ever get to actually having a baby.

From @Johnson:
When I was a nw1 at 20 years old I looked decent but I was a little too skinny and dressed like some pseudo bohemian. This was complimented by relatively bad skin, questionable hair styles, thin facial hair, and a general shyness with anyone I didn't know that worked as a shield to new people.

From @pjhair:
Also, I think I should try minoxidl for some time before considering hair transplant. I even bought rogain foam and used it once. But then I chickened out and stopped using it. I was worried about facial bloating and other skin related side effects. It's probably irrational ...

From @CaptainForehead:
I do have PTSD from my struggles ages 12-to now.
Most people in developing/poor countries dont have the memories you are talking about. Those happy memories are mostly
the domain of the elite (ie white people in rich countries).

The rest of us have to resort to some form of drugs (real or figurative) to escape a shit life. Overeating/drinking/TV/Video games/Fantasy books/actual drugs/religion.


You see those examples of humanity? We never see that kind of reflection from you, you only ever show that kind of critique toward others, you never self-assess, you never acknowledge, nothing. That's not normal. I think that part of the reason that you are the most vicious poster on the forum by an overwhelming margin is that you can't acknowledge your own internal struggles, and so you end up channeling that frustration outwards. Given that factor, it is simply not the case that only you can know if that reflects on your or your life life or even your intentions on here.

Now for another point, you wrote this idiotic comment:
The first thing you mention is breakup, and the "couple" other things (involving 3 other parts of your life OK)
Are you serious?
People use the term "a couple" to refer to "2,3, or 4" things on a regular base. It's equivalent to how people use the word decimate for large reductions that are different from 90%. Language evolves over time, it's fine. Nobody had a problem with that but you, partly because you like to look for problems, and plausibly because your mind might do it automatically.

Anyway, from Merriam-Webster:
"an indefinite small number : FEW"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple

Edited to add: You wrote the following narcissistic phrase,
I do like giving constructive criticism
You don't, you like denigrating others and tearing them down.
If you were actually some sort of Cassandra who liked to shower the truth to the world, your criticisms would be accompanied by praise in other posts. But you give very little praise. You don't see or acknowledge the good in others and their actions. Only the bad.
"You've done a splendid job of validating my post."

That's your way of winking at camera, being above response, but ultimately having no response. Apart from pointlessly quoting a bunch of people.

I could write a list of things I've been self-depricating about, but again I just don't care, I didn't care to respond to that point the first time and I still don't. I can't understand if you read my posts on HairLossTalk that I'm bulletproof, but although I'm a more comfortable person now there's still remnants of that for sure. The only factor worth mentioning is that I'm not very active on here now (and definitely wasn't until the last few weeks), I don't explore a lot of thoughts generally probably for months now.

But regardless even if I never said a bad word about myself, you're not actually making a point here, and that's also part of why I didn't respond. Should I search for reasons to exhibit negative thoughts on myself? What if I would have them but don't feel like sharing? You can't just say "that's not normal", what are you actually getting at? If I didn't feel I have enormous flaws worth putting out there, to possibly belittle those with worse flaws, then that wouldn't mean there still isn't plenty of personality traits to work on.

But as far as activity, the posts that I actually do bother making are very negative lately, I have just been finding this place dull or repetitive (and that's not a reflection of posters individually, and after all I'm still a "regular" member too). For me if I find a post or response that irks me, I don't want to get deep in to it and spend a lot of time (which unfortunately is what I've let happen) but I just want to briefly say my bit and get out (and yes, because I think they need to be aware of the fault). I tend not to do that in more positive or broader topics, as in actual topics of discussion I'd rather write a lot and go back and forth, and I just am too lazy to do that now for a while.

So basically this evil locks example, if I can quickly put my 2 cents in and get out, that's effective. I just didn't expect all this leaving drama, so I felt I should at least spell out what I meant if she's leaving over it (not just my post of course but probably building from other ones, but I doubt as much as she would insist).

And I thought couple was restricted to 2 and googled it, where there's a lot of threads and topics debating it but yes you are correct. What it sounds like is that people started using a word incorrectly to imply more than 2, and did it so much that eventually it was added as a word. If I'm an idiot in thinking that then you think a lot of people are idiots.
Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago
I just find some of your perceptions to be off and you don’t seem in my opinion to have good intentions...which is your perogative but when I see you post things like your giving constructive criticism I find it disingenuous. Also when you say things like (forget the wording you used) you’re trying to school people to be considererare it sounds kind of funny to me that you’re going to be the one to teach someone about thinking before they post and to be considerate...I don’t find you to be a considerate poster (and you don’t have to be) but like talk about tone deaf.

I didn’t ‘play it down’. I said I thought it was funny. And I did. I chuckled that she shoved a guy and next day his leg was broken.like a comedy of errors.
That’s separate and distinct from Weather it’s going to miss the mark with Afro. I HB, can be amused by a story that I also think will miss the mark for a guy with a broken heart.

Also, He already spoke up for himself, I didn’t feel the need to speak for him. He already did so.
They have a long online friendship on these forums so I don’t need to spank her for something that’s really between the two of them when he already spoke for himself.

The thing you should think about is why it matters so much to you when neither of these people are people you care about or even seem to like (at least you don’t seem to from postings over time)
you just seem to search for things to be outraged over and call people out over for a very long time now.
And your reactions are often way over blown to the precieved offense.
It has a cumulative effect on how your individual posts are going to be read.
You do often try to imply people are not well mentally or you speculate that posters are being suspicious and insincere as if they are being dublicitous..
sometimes you have good insight but it gets so muddied by your overly aggressive tone and sometimes you just sound paranoid and that adage that even a broken clock gets it right 2x.
Well you wrote the thing about "school her on being considerate" and as it was clearly sarcastic I echoed it back and said "school her (or, give advice) on being considerate"

What's frustrating now is that I already explained the first point in your paragraph, I wasn't intending to be considerate if you're using afro as an example, so my advice was based on trying to be considerate, and failing. It doesn't mean I am incapable of doing so, but often I find people don't deserve, or at least respond better without it, and I don't mean "better" as in with open arms, but even in the moment they may hate me, but at least they think about it.

So fine you didn't "play it down" instead you just read the story without thinking of it from afros perspective whatsoever. You just found it funny and you don't necessarily have to express how you feel with regards to it intending to cheer someone up in this particular circumstance, I get that now.

"The thing you should think about is why it matters so much to you when neither of these people are people you care about or even seem to like"

But it doesn't matter that much? I have got myself tied up in this when really I should just make my point and get out, which initially went as planned but then I continued.

I guess to reiterate what I wrote to afro, I will seem more consistently negative because I'm not posting as much, I don't feel like getting involved in long form topics, and it's much simpler if I see someone acting like a bit of a dick, to quickly tell them and move on.

I've explained thoroughly with regards to this example of evil and why it was insensitive and oblivious, and why not only is that annoying on here, but if she acts like that in real life people will judge her harshly on it, and that's still the truth. I pretty much always write along those lines, with an overarching idea of how people can feel this reflects badly on them generally, so sure I can see why the negativity makes it not seem genuine, but I just don't think you understand my posts (or at least, the actual intention behind them).
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
But as far as activity, the posts that I actually do bother making are very negative lately,
You've been that way for several years. My first observation of you was that you were chasing Admin and Shookwun around like a maniac. You've since continued and you've written more personal attacks than anybody else, consistently so.

The rest of your post, like the comment above, mostly traffics in delusions, denial, and narcissism.
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Rudiger » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
You've been that way for several years. My first observation of you was that you were chasing Admin and Shookwun around like a maniac. You've since continued and you've written more personal attacks than anybody else, consistently so.

The rest of your post, like the comment above, mostly traffics in delusions, denial, and narcissism.
It's pretty easy to say that about things several years ago, so you just said this about Evil:

"the fact that you have been attacking her a lot recently and randomly chasing after her, as well as the fact that this is what you do."

And I brought up the original "attack" 2 months ago, and once since, can you shed any further light on that? Because apparently my response validated this fact.

Not to mention my original "attack" was writing something like "because obviously this needs to be explained to you" and the rest of my "attack" was me clarifying that I was not calling her an idiot, really Savage stuff.

But which other attacks? The joke that she's in love with Pat? That's really harsh, I didn't realise I'm such a maniac.

And I've probably made about 50-60 posts in the last few months so it won't take long to find all these attacks I've been making on Evil, and there was absolutely nothing before that first one.
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
It's pretty easy to say that about things several years ago, so you just said this about Evil:

"the fact that you have been attacking her a lot recently and randomly chasing after her, as well as the fact that this is what you do."

And I brought up the original "attack" 2 months ago, and once since, can you shed any further light on that? Because apparently my response validated this fact.

Not to mention my original "attack" was writing something like "because obviously this needs to be explained to you" and the rest of my "attack" was me clarifying that I was not calling her an idiot, really Savage stuff.

But which other attacks? The joke that she's in love with Pat? That's really harsh, I didn't realise I'm such a maniac.

And I've probably made about 50-60 posts in the last few months so it won't take long to find all these attacks I've been making on Evil, and there was absolutely nothing before that first one.
You've made at least two recent attacks against @EvilLocks prior to the recent one. You have some sort of issue with her, nobody knows what it is, you probably don't even know. You say that you want to give her constructive advice but it's likely that nobody or almost nobody believes you. What is known is that she and myself are your targets du jour. It was somebody else three months ago, and it will be somebody else three months from now.

Of course you don't accept this constructive criticism that you're receiving from two posters. You're not acknowledging a single failing. No, you instead predictably dig in your heels and argue that the fault lies entirely with others. At least you're consistent.
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Admin » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
I didn't get all of the nice memories and fun times that people are supposed to get between the ages of 15 and 30. That doesn't mean that I resent people who have. I like you and I'm happy for you that you got your fun times. For myself, what I want is fun times through the rest of my life.
Who says people are supposed to get those nice memories? How do you know they were truly valuable for the people who supposedly got them? Their Facebook feed? Who says life is primarily about having fun times? Why do you think those fun times will sustain people when their lives inevitably get tragic?

I got to have those even before going through the roughest time of my life. They don't help, because only the here and now exist. Even those memories you have get distorded and you get this deceptive sense of nostalgia, you project on your own past with your current experience, in the same manner that you project on what other people let you see from their lives on social media.
CaptainForehead wrote:
1 month ago
Most people in developing/poor countries dont have the memories you are talking about. Those happy memories are mostly
the domain of the elite (ie white people in rich countries).
The data indicates that those people in poor/developing countries are happier than the white people in rich countries.

So how does it work?
"Along the way some boys started making fun of him by shouting, “Go away, baldy! Get out of here!” Elisha turned around and stared at the boys. Then he cursed them in the name of the Lord. At once two bears ran out of the woods and ripped to pieces 42 of the boys." - 2 Kings 23-24

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Rudiger » 1 month ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 month ago
You've made at least two recent attacks against @EvilLocks prior to the recent one. You have some sort of issue with her, nobody knows what it is, you probably don't even know. You say that you want to give her constructive advice but it's likely that nobody or almost nobody believes you. What is known is that she and myself are your targets du jour. It was somebody else three months ago, and it will be somebody else three months from now.

Of course you don't accept this constructive criticism that you're receiving from two posters. You're not acknowledging a single failing. No, you instead predictably dig in your heels and argue that the fault lies entirely with others. At least you're consistent.
The joke about Pat? Or there was one which was a single sentence about how I felt she should just admit something instead of just saying "maybe" (which I said is "progress") and the original "attack" itself was mainly me denying calling her an idiot. And you say "at least two attacks" no, those were it, and they were hardly attacks.

If she is my target du jour then you're completely unreliable. For example I feuded with Fred a lot for sure (can you quantify "chasing" him around on a forum with only several new active topics a day, as I only ever posted in Impact and Fred posted on many other subforums) but although I was very harsh on shookwun, I really didn't post much towards him at all. When I first encountered him a bit, and then nothing for literally a few years.

You're not reliable in my chasing and harassment of evil, or anything, all of your defenses to my posts have been "this is just toiling in narcissm" or "you've further proved my point, moving along... Here's 6 irrelevant quotes from other forum members".

I'm not digging my heels about anything, now you're using a very one dimensional tactic of "you must accept our criticism is true otherwise it proves you're a narcissist", you've been doing it from the start. I've explained why and how I've been consistent with trying to offer constructive advice to evil and to others generally that nobody likes seeing that shit, and nobody behaves like it.

You are being incredibly arrogant in assuming you can speak for perhaps dozens of people here in the fact everyone would agree with you, and little to no one would agree with me. Also I don't mind you and hairblues posting at the same time and upvoting each other, but now you're using this tactic of literally referring to her as a ganging up, meanwhile reminding me I have no one by my side.

Again it's fine, that's what snakes who can't stand up for their own points do, they need to gang up, insist the target is alone and wrong, just like the "admit you're wrong or you have a personality disorder" its all really basic stuff.

I've already written about this unreliable idea I've never seen myself at fault (recent admittedly small example, I literally just said hairblues was correct to just find something funny and actually it was wrong to feel she needs to intervene otherwise) but I wrote all this below and I'm just going to paste it, because you're just repeating yourself about my stubborn psychological disorders:

I could write a list of things I've been self-depricating about, but again I just don't care, I didn't care to respond to that point the first time and I still don't. I can't understand if you read my posts on HairLossTalk that I'm bulletproof, but although I'm a more comfortable person now there's still remnants of that for sure. The only factor worth mentioning is that I'm not very active on here now (and definitely wasn't until the last few weeks), I don't explore a lot of thoughts generally probably for months now.

But regardless even if I never said a bad word about myself, you're not actually making a point here, and that's also part of why I didn't respond. Should I search for reasons to exhibit negative thoughts on myself? What if I would have them but don't feel like sharing? You can't just say "that's not normal", what are you actually getting at? If I didn't feel I have enormous flaws worth putting out there, to possibly belittle those with worse flaws, then that wouldn't mean there still isn't plenty of personality traits to work on.


So your main two arguments are that I have to admit that you and hairblues are right otherwise I can't take criticism (it's called defending yourself when you know you are right, and you're doing the exact same thing except you have a whole 1 other person currently posting with you) and also that I need to start exhibiting flaws in myself all the time otherwise there's some vaguely specifically wrong with me.

It sounds like dianetics or something, it really does.
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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by yettee » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
It sounds like dianetics or something, it really does.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by CaptainForehead » 1 month ago

Admin wrote:
1 month ago
The data indicates that those people in poor/developing countries are happier than the white people in rich countries.

So how does it work?
I'd [Dr Cox voice]reeeeeaaaaaalllly [/Dr Cox voice] like to look at this data and their methodology.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by Hairblues » 1 month ago

Rudiger wrote:
1 month ago
The joke about Pat? Or there was one which was a single sentence about how I felt she should just admit something instead of just saying "maybe" (which I said is "progress") and the original "attack" itself was mainly me denying calling her an idiot. And you say "at least two attacks" no, those were it, and they were hardly attacks.

If she is my target du jour then you're completely unreliable. For example I feuded with Fred a lot for sure (can you quantify "chasing" him around on a forum with only several new active topics a day, as I only ever posted in Impact and Fred posted on many other subforums) but although I was very harsh on shookwun, I really didn't post much towards him at all. When I first encountered him a bit, and then nothing for literally a few years.

You're not reliable in my chasing and harassment of evil, or anything, all of your defenses to my posts have been "this is just toiling in narcissm" or "you've further proved my point, moving along... Here's 6 irrelevant quotes from other forum members".

I'm not digging my heels about anything, now you're using a very one dimensional tactic of "you must accept our criticism is true otherwise it proves you're a narcissist", you've been doing it from the start. I've explained why and how I've been consistent with trying to offer constructive advice to evil and to others generally that nobody likes seeing that shit, and nobody behaves like it.

You are being incredibly arrogant in assuming you can speak for perhaps dozens of people here in the fact everyone would agree with you, and little to no one would agree with me. Also I don't mind you and hairblues posting at the same time and upvoting each other, but now you're using this tactic of literally referring to her as a ganging up, meanwhile reminding me I have no one by my side.

Again it's fine, that's what snakes who can't stand up for their own points do, they need to gang up, insist the target is alone and wrong, just like the "admit you're wrong or you have a personality disorder" its all really basic stuff.

I've already written about this unreliable idea I've never seen myself at fault (recent admittedly small example, I literally just said hairblues was correct to just find something funny and actually it was wrong to feel she needs to intervene otherwise) but I wrote all this below and I'm just going to paste it, because you're just repeating yourself about my stubborn psychological disorders:

I could write a list of things I've been self-depricating about, but again I just don't care, I didn't care to respond to that point the first time and I still don't. I can't understand if you read my posts on HairLossTalk that I'm bulletproof, but although I'm a more comfortable person now there's still remnants of that for sure. The only factor worth mentioning is that I'm not very active on here now (and definitely wasn't until the last few weeks), I don't explore a lot of thoughts generally probably for months now.

But regardless even if I never said a bad word about myself, you're not actually making a point here, and that's also part of why I didn't respond. Should I search for reasons to exhibit negative thoughts on myself? What if I would have them but don't feel like sharing? You can't just say "that's not normal", what are you actually getting at? If I didn't feel I have enormous flaws worth putting out there, to possibly belittle those with worse flaws, then that wouldn't mean there still isn't plenty of personality traits to work on.


So your main two arguments are that I have to admit that you and hairblues are right otherwise I can't take criticism (it's called defending yourself when you know you are right, and you're doing the exact same thing except you have a whole 1 other person currently posting with you) and also that I need to start exhibiting flaws in myself all the time otherwise there's some vaguely specifically wrong with me.

It sounds like dianetics or something, it really does.
I'm definitely not ganging up on you.

I also DO know you as self-analyzing as you have done so privately with me in past via PM, I know you're human.

I don't agree with all of what he's saying about you, but I did agree with some of it.

Upvotes as have been discussed before aren't always about agreeing with posts in totality but some partiality.

However, you have said things to me in the past during back/forth on this forum that were wrong about me and my own character wihin a post, so when you do it to other people I do think you look a little too deep at times for bad in others.
Last edited by Hairblues 1 month ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Better body image after hair transplant

Post by CaptainForehead » 1 month ago

Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago

I just know she didn’t have bad intentions.
Agree.
Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago
Either did you when you asked him what I considered to be invasive questions at a bad time.
You both made posts to @Afro_Vacancy I thought missed the mark with what he’s going through at this moment.
he commented himself to both you and her appropriately that he wasn’t in head either time. And both of you accepted it and it moved on.
End of the day, in my opinion, none of this was that big a deal as it was made out to be.

Good point.
The difference is, I did not think my questions would make feel Afro feel better. I was aware they were somewhat invasive, and I hoped they would not make Afro feel worse.

EL's anecdote was fine, it's her statement "I hope I can cheer you up with my worst date experience." that people are having a reaction to.

Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago
Your second point.
Truthfully I think you criticism of her the other day really hurt her because she considers you a friend here and it kind of seemed to me out of left field and uncalled for.
Also she’s been through some serious shit at her age.
(No matter how many times you try to - can't find the word for it - slide inside our group, you will never be one of us guys, It's super easy for you to find a boytoy. You could find one inside 24 hours. And of course, wigs are not allowed for men by society.) when all she said is she felt she can relate to the bald guy in the film.
I felt the heaviest depression of my life when my hair loss started and I was in my 40s and in retrospect the effect (thanks to medication) so far isn’t so bad. But I still when t through that depression and I have had some really hard things that I’ve handled better. So I’m not prone to depression.
I can’t even imagine if I was in high school or having to have a hair piece in my early 20s. Shit I can’t imagine it now!
So male, female, ugly, pretty, she’s been through shit
and I’m not sure why you need to measure it vs anyone else’s pain.
I don't see what's so hurtful about that. That I consider her to have some privileges that men dont have.

Hairblues wrote:
1 month ago
She also may not be up for it because she’s pregnant. Pregnancy can definitely make women sensitive and it can also make them want to nest and feel good.
Could be.

PS: See, I can take criticism, agree or disagree, and move on

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