Yep, an idea I've been toying with lately is that you shouldn't ever have to force anything and that's not limited to dating and relationships. If you have to force a situation, you're doing it wrong and you'll eventually fail even if you temporarily obtain what you want.JasonStatham wrote: ↑5 months agoI had that many times that I met a woman and she was not attractive at first but after talking finding out about her character, she looked sexy BUT I could never date those women long therm. I did it. I had 2 girlfriends that I became to find attractive not at first sight and thought I have "to push trough it" and it was terrible.
I know that from personal experience that after a time (usually after 3 months) the initial thoughts of finding her unattractive are coming back.
And then what? "Don't be so shallow bruh". But if you simply have to force yourself to have sex (been there) what's the point? The current girlfriend is looks matched/better looking and even after more than 1 year (which is long for me) I still get horny all the time. I dated a lot of women for very short times that were not the best looking and it never worked out and that's real life experience and not .jpg
Some men can be happy to fuck a 3 or a 4 even long therm. I cant. I could never get beyond the fact she is a single mother for example. I would walk from her away the minute she shows me little Timmy.
If a woman doesn't fancy you, it's no use trying to force it or to bring your best arguments to the table. It's something that happens organically, the moment you have to force the interaction or the attraction (I don't even think it's possible), you might as well repeatedly bang your head against a wall.
I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of the door-to-door salesman, or the PUA approaching hundreds of women hoping that something will stick. They'll justify it by "well at least you'll be trying your luck!" and why not, but as I've explained before, it's a suboptimal solution to say the least. But that's also because I have a very hard time with rejection, being extremely neurotic and introverted. But I understand that for some people, it suits their personality.
That's why I liked the idea of joining a church, or any club formed around a subject or hobby you would enjoy. You'd end up talking with many women (unless that hobby is World of Warcraft lans), talking to them at ease in a laid-back context, and if you're not a complete autist with no self-awareness about your looks, you'll eventually do fine.
I've forced relationships before and it had its pros and cons. You gain experience but again, it's hard not to feel bad for that woman who might be developing true feelings for you while you'll be ready to bail at any second. You know very quickly whether the girl you're with will become that special someone or not and staying with her despite knowing that there would be no future is a form of lying.
In the end, it's also about balancing the pros and cons because no girl will like a man without experience, especially if he's used what I'm talking about above as an excuse. "I've never found a woman that's good enough for me", yeah that ain't gonna fly, but I know it's like the most common excuse many permanently single people will use to justify why they cannot find somebody, and that goes for men and women.