On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 year ago

I'm visiting where I grew up for a week. In that time, I'm also seeing people that I went to high school and college with. A lot of topics come up, such as people's progressing or non-progressing careers, their family lives, their health (people in their 30s talk about health more), and so on.

I'm getting lots of dating advice, everybody's an expert. The people who married their first girlfriends are experts, the people who married ten years ago when everything was different are experts. First two comments are from men, the third is from women.

1) Don't talk about personal improvements so much.
OK, fine. I don't. This was somebody who I had not seen in a while, and he asked me how I lost weight, he then told me that it would be boring to discuss with another person.

2) Women need to feel submissive. My wife probably wouldn't be with me if I didn't push back at her, and she admits that. Don't be so kind, so accommodating, don't be too nice. Show that you're smart and be comfortable taking up place, women prefer more established men.
OK fine, that seems plausible. He, himself, has a great relationship, with a beautiful and brilliant woman. What I did not tell him is that his relationship would not happen today. They met ten years ago. He messaged a woman on OkCupid who was ten years younger than he was, and then he drove 600 km to meet her. With modern dating apps, he would not get message her due to two different reasons.

3) Be more natural, stop trying to impress. When you're not trying to impress you're a lot more likable.
OK, that's plausible and fair. It's hard to pull off though.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by pjhair » 1 year ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 year ago
2) Women need to feel submissive. My wife probably wouldn't be with me if I didn't push back at her, and she admits that. Don't be so kind, so accommodating, don't be too nice. Show that you're smart and be comfortable taking up place, women prefer more established men.
OK fine, that seems plausible. He, himself, has a great relationship, with a beautiful and brilliant woman. What I did not tell him is that his relationship would not happen today. They met ten years ago. He messaged a woman on OkCupid who was ten years younger than he was, and then he drove 600 km to meet her. With modern dating apps, he would not get message her due to two different reasons.
There is some truth to this advice. I don't think I will ever drive 600km to meet a women though unless I am already dating her.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

pjhair wrote:
1 year ago
There is some truth to this advice. I don't think I will ever drive 600km to meet a women though unless I am already dating her.
Off topic: I did. And she was fat. Biggest mistake but yeah. I met her first time when I was fucked up drunk in Germany. We didn't no anything cause she was working as a bartender and she just gave me her number. I knew she had "a bit more" on her waist but at that time, I had 0 other options and just wanted to bang. I took a 4 hours train to her lol. When I saw her sober...jesus mistakes made. But fat women really know how to treat a man. Cooking for you, playing games with you, blowjobs on demand etc. But some images during sex I really want to forget but cant xD

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by pjhair » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Off topic: I did. And she was fat. Biggest mistake but yeah. I met her first time when I was fucked up drunk in Germany. We didn't no anything cause she was working as a bartender and she just gave me her number. I knew she had "a bit more" on her waist but at that time, I had 0 other options and just wanted to bang. I took a 4 hours train to her lol. When I saw her sober...jesus mistakes made. But fat women really know how to treat a man. Cooking for you, playing games with you, blowjobs on demand etc. But some images during sex I really want to forget but cant xD
lol that's a funny story. You are an honest man. Most men wouldn't even admit to having sex with a fat women, let alone traveling so far for it.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by White Ferrari » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
But some images during sex I really want to forget but cant xD
Haha, dear lord may I never have a fatty in my chambers.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by DerPapillus » 1 year ago

White Ferrari wrote:
1 year ago
Haha, dear lord may I never have a fatty in my chambers.
Out of curiosity guys, what do you consider fat?

For ex, is this fat;
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/ ... 764145.jpg
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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 1 year ago

DerPapillus wrote:
1 year ago
Out of curiosity guys, what do you consider fat?

For ex, is this fat;
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/ ... 764145.jpg
She's still hot enough to pull, to pull elite 9+/10 men in fact, but at that point she's no longer my type.

Kate Upton has a weird body type in that she has very, very narrow hips. As such, she doesn't carry extra weight well. If her hips were typical of glamour women she would carry it fine. I've seen women bigger than that who looked hot to me.

I very much value hips though, so if a woman doesn't have hips then that skews things.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Off topic: I did. And she was fat. Biggest mistake but yeah. I met her first time when I was fucked up drunk in Germany. We didn't no anything cause she was working as a bartender and she just gave me her number. I knew she had "a bit more" on her waist but at that time, I had 0 other options and just wanted to bang. I took a 4 hours train to her lol. When I saw her sober...jesus mistakes made. But fat women really know how to treat a man. Cooking for you, playing games with you, blowjobs on demand etc. But some images during sex I really want to forget but cant xD
You didn‘t have a girl driving you? :shock:

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
You didn‘t have a girl driving you? :shock:
This joke is just not getting old :p. Seriously though, I've been driven around by girls since I began to date, since first I didn't have my driver's license and now I have it but still haven't bought a car. I didn't know it was something to brag about, I actually thought it was not something you should be proud of.

When I told people at university that my ex-girlfriend was always driving me around, they usually replied "Ah, that's not good, you're supposed to be the man, you should be driving her around!" With my current girlfriend, this hasn't changed, she has a company car and I can get to work by public transport (ha! Loser!) very easily.

On the same subject, my best friend told me yesterday: "Instead of getting two hair transplants for 8500€, you could have bought a car!" Yep, I can't believe he still would insinuate that maybe, maybe it would have been smarter to remain a slick NW6 and buy a car instead. He hadn't seen me in a long time and complimented me on my hair before we got to that.

I told him "I think having hair is more useful." and to that he replied: "Well, having a car is useful too!".

Image

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
This joke is just not getting old :p. Seriously though, I've been driven around by girls since I began to date, since first I didn't have my driver's license and now I have it but still haven't bought a car. I didn't know it was something to brag about, I actually thought it was not something you should be proud of.

When I told people at university that my ex-girlfriend was always driving me around, they usually replied "Ah, that's not good, you're supposed to be the man, you should be driving her around!" With my current girlfriend, this hasn't changed, she has a company car and I can get to work by public transport (ha! Loser!) very easily.

On the same subject, my best friend told me yesterday: "Instead of getting two hair transplants for 8500€, you could have bought a car!" Yep, I can't believe he still would insinuate that maybe, maybe it would have been smarter to remain a slick NW6 and buy a car instead. He hadn't seen me in a long time and complimented me on my hair before we got to that.

I told him "I think having hair is more useful." and to that he replied: "Well, having a car is useful too!".

Image
I imagine a fancy car can attract women, but not for reasons I'd want, certainly much less than for being physically appealing (to which a hair transplant can contribute). "Even" here where most are relatively affluent, an expensive sports car can do something. There is that one guy, looks-wise not that bad (5-6), but really awkward with people - and he has that super flashy car. The fact he still lives with his mother in his mid-thirties does not deter women from jumping into his car - but, well, they are moderately attractive Russian girls mostly, so...

Since I have a nice car, people have told me to use a pic with it on Tinder. No, just no, the thought alone makes me cringe. I'd rather not optimize than feel boorish.

My best friend has never had a car: same experience as you. He wants one at some point, but only because it's still convenient on some occasions and because he likes nice things and certainly not to appear more "independent".

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
I imagine a fancy car can attract women, but not for reasons I'd want, certainly much less than for being physically appealing (to which a hair transplant can contribute). "Even" here where most are relatively affluent, an expensive sports car can do something. There is that one guy, looks-wise not that bad (5-6), but really awkward with people - and he has that super flashy car. The fact he still lives with his mother in his mid-thirties does not deter women from jumping into his car - but, well, they are moderately attractive Russian girls mostly, so...

Since I have a nice car, people have told me to use a pic with it on Tinder. No, just no, the thought alone makes me cringe. I'd rather not optimize than feel boorish.

My best friend has never had a car: same experience as you. He wants one at some point, but only because it's still convenient on some occasions and because he likes nice things and certainly not to appear more "independent".
This is the kind of brand new car I could have bought for 8500€:

Image

Well hello ladies! Who wants a ride?!

Having a nice car would attract women I wouldn't want, and this is not a cope since I have options.

Like you, just the thought of using a car to attract women makes me cringe. Of course it would be a nice addition to my other assets. If I'm ever getting a car, and I'll have to when I have kids, it's most likely going to be a company car.

I wouldn't care if it was not mine, I'd rent pretty much anything if it was possible.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
This is the kind of brand new car I could have bought for 8500€:

Image

Well hello ladies! Who wants a ride?!

Having a nice car would attract women I wouldn't want, and this is not a cope since I have options.

Like you, just the thought of using a car to attract women makes me cringe. Of course it would be a nice addition to my other assets. If I'm ever getting a car, and I'll have to when I have kids, it's most likely going to be a company car.

I wouldn't care if it was not mine, I'd rent pretty much anything if it was possible.
I'm not an expert in cars at all anyways, and I think a girl obsessed with something more than a nice car would strike me as odd and not corresponding with my idea of womanliness. A woman's appreciation or own flair for a nice apartment and its furnishing is something I value though for example.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
1 year ago
I'm visiting where I grew up for a week. In that time, I'm also seeing people that I went to high school and college with. A lot of topics come up, such as people's progressing or non-progressing careers, their family lives, their health (people in their 30s talk about health more), and so on.

I'm getting lots of dating advice, everybody's an expert. The people who married their first girlfriends are experts, the people who married ten years ago when everything was different are experts. First two comments are from men, the third is from women.

1) Don't talk about personal improvements so much.
OK, fine. I don't. This was somebody who I had not seen in a while, and he asked me how I lost weight, he then told me that it would be boring to discuss with another person.

2) Women need to feel submissive. My wife probably wouldn't be with me if I didn't push back at her, and she admits that. Don't be so kind, so accommodating, don't be too nice. Show that you're smart and be comfortable taking up place, women prefer more established men.
OK fine, that seems plausible. He, himself, has a great relationship, with a beautiful and brilliant woman. What I did not tell him is that his relationship would not happen today. They met ten years ago. He messaged a woman on OkCupid who was ten years younger than he was, and then he drove 600 km to meet her. With modern dating apps, he would not get message her due to two different reasons.

3) Be more natural, stop trying to impress. When you're not trying to impress you're a lot more likable.
OK, that's plausible and fair. It's hard to pull off though.
1) I’ll play the devil’s advocate here: I don’t know how you answered his casual(?) question, but if you did so in a “technical”, bordering on the scientific way, that may be what he meant. Otherwise you’ll know what to think of the value of his input, just like you imply.
2) Been pondering this quite a lot. And quite surely also a question of cause and effect. If she likes how you look, she’s intrigued. And she’s even more intrigued when you are not accommodating in such a case. I doubt being cocky, challenging, pushing back can lead to a woman finding you appealing. Most likely she’ll just find you an idiot.

Here's the thing though: that’s my mind-set. And it shows in my behaviour. I do think I am smooth (as in not awkward) with girls I rate as attractive and it’s probably fair to say I provoke them less, reveal less rough edges. It’s silly, because I agree with your guy’s statement, I do not think you win extra points romantically by being accommodating. You may put a lot of girls off (see above, “ewww, he’s not even nice!”), but I can easily imagine that you win with some of the few that find you at least physically acceptable and as long as pushing back is not confused with plain rudeness – or caught out as a an act.

The last girl that really fell for me was one I think I was super natural with. I provoked her quite a lot, never had an agenda with her. However: my mind-set tells me, that behaviour may have been added to her attraction, but it would not have generated success with a girl I find attractive, because such a girl is, well, higher up the looks chain.
3) Again, do you even get noticed when not found physically appealing? But then, why bother and try to get somebody’s attention if that’s not the case – futile, so I agree. Not sure if I want to be likeable though, it has brought me quite a lot of friends, many of them female too, I don’t need any more of them.

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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
You didn‘t have a girl driving you? :shock:
I have lots of driving stories as well lol. Not so long ago, I "met" a women from Tinder. Well, firstly we just small talked on the phone. On a Friday she wrote me: "I want to go to this Punk Rock concert but no one want me to join". I told her, she can pick me up and I would join her. We are both living in different cities for 1 hour each apart, and the concert was again in a different City. Which meant, she drove 1 hour to me and 1 hour to the concert and had to drive me after the concert at home too lol. Was nice. She was good looking and my type (slim and the alternative rocker style) but I was looking for a girlfriend and I knew from experience, women that go to concerts like this often, drink a lot and this is a red flag for me. I ghosted her after. Good times.
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Re: On the mountain of advice to a single man, solicited and unsolicited

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

DerPapillus wrote:
1 year ago
Out of curiosity guys, what do you consider fat?

For ex, is this fat;
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/ ... 764145.jpg
Women like in this picture is bombarded by good-looking men. This isn't even fat fat.

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