Guys, can't you please be more selective? :p

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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Guys, can't you please be more selective? :p

#15433

Post by JLBB » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote: 1 year ago I can follow you, but honestly, despite being super bald myself, that part is not the most annoying/ridiculous one. No need to put it there, but I get and accept it's a no-go.
What is more laughable is the "elite 2%" thing. As if it weren't notorious women swipe selectively...and if you match with a hottie, you KNOW (or in my case: you WOULD know;)) you are one lucky bastard. A pretty woman would not put such a comment there, so basically she inadvertedly displays a distinct lack of SMV (which of course doesn't stop her from being able to have sex with decent looking, fit guys, adding to this mixture of insecurity and inflated self-worth). Also, I've been on and off Tinder for years now, but never have I seen a woman who was above a 6 put "No ONS" in her bio - it's simply not necessary.

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Lol, new attempt. Looks like those top 2% swipe right on everyone and only then decide whom to message, huh.
"but never have I seen a woman who was above a 6 put "No ONS" in her bio - it's simply not necessary."

The only times I see this regularly are with very conservative looking Asian girls. Definitely see it occasionally with equivalent White girls, its probably legitimately worthwhile in the case that they're looking for a very specific type of dating to filter out who they match with at least somewhat effectively.

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#15434

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

JLBB wrote: 1 year ago "but never have I seen a woman who was above a 6 put "No ONS" in her bio - it's simply not necessary."

The only times I see this regularly are with very conservative looking Asian girls. Definitely see it occasionally with equivalent White girls, its probably legitimately worthwhile in the case that they're looking for a very specific type of dating to filter out who they match with at least somewhat effectively.
Boah, sometimes I regret the spirits that I called…

Whomever I tell about my observations (men dating down looks-wise) starts off neutrally or surprised, only to then then go through couples they actually know and come to the same conclusion. And with some, it doesn’t stop and they think of me and text me whenever they have an event or something where they meet couples – and you don’t run out of example after example. It has really reached a point where I’m fed up with it, as I have plenty of evidence and it’s not something I have influence over anyway.

It just feels liking wanting to date up (which it takes for me to feel attracted, looking realistically at myself and my targets, and be it mainly due to my baldness “alone”) as a man is even more of a mountain to climb. But it would just be nice to at this point see some encouraging examples that are just so rare to come by (these exmaples exist, but they are really the big exception). Do you have the impression you and your friends manage to date/f*ck up in Australia, strictly looks-wise, even through Tinder?
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#15435

Post by JLBB » 1 year ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote: 1 year ago If an honest person were behaving like a Cassandra, and just telling everybody the truth about everything, it wouldn't be so bad.

In practice, such people are often very effective at zero-ing on a very specific subset of the truth: everything that's negative.

Added in 5 minutes 10 seconds:


Thanks.

I agree about people posting what they don't want, it's definitely a red flag.

I also think that it might be the inverse of virtue signaling: asshole signaling. I think that some people associate being higher status with the ability to hurt and dismiss others, and so they do it as a perverted means of showcasing strength.

For example, if a woman announces that she's a racist or a "heightist" on her profile, there is no need for her to say that. She could, in principal, just swipe left on Black men and short men. She does it, I think, to show off that she has high standards, as it might make her look higher status.

Added in 26 minutes :


Damn your life is awesome. Young, smart, virile, hot, and millions of dollars in bitcoins.

Fuck everything. Burn it all down.

by the way, were you expecting a bull run at this time?

********

I get virtually no traction on Tinder myself ... almost all of my success is off Bumble. Then again, I'm older, less good looking, and I give off a kind and sensitive vibe rather than an "I'd like to puke on you" vibe.

By the time I get regrowth from my hair transplant, I'll be 36. I'll be the last man in my age bracket with hair, which will give me the means to appeal to Hairblues' friend.
If I was a point more attractive and had the motivation to get a job when I'm spending $700 a week in expenses then maybe that would be accurate. I'm getting bored and already sick of hookups at this point even if the girl is attractive, I organised like 5 roots last week and ghosted all of them last minute, most were quite attractive too.

I was expecting a bullrun within a few years of crash, so I'm not at all surprised but do have much regret not selling all of my stack at the prior top, when realistically I knew that altcoins and tokens were overvalued by often 50-100x and that people at the top of the market had made so much money they didn't care about upside anymore. The only reason I didn't sell earlier when it started to drop was for tax reasons, and despite a huge tax bill the amount of money I would have made selling then and buying towards the bottom when the prices were crazy cheap would have been enough to retire on. At least this time I'll get the CGT discount.

That's funny that you mention more success on Bumble because I get none, although I don't have any suave photos in a suit, at a workplace, social outings etc to make me look like a serious person which is likely the issue, I only have a few selfies. As surprising as it sounds although I am very forward I do (and have had it confirmed a million times) give off a very sensitive and kind vibe. Bumble is mostly white professional women anyway and I prefer Asians and artsy types which are moreso on Tinder and Okcupid. Also I like to get puked on, not puke on others. Also pee can go either way.

Added in 7 minutes 46 seconds:
Arjen wrote: 1 year ago Boah, sometimes I regret the spirits that I called…

Whomever I tell about my observations (men dating down looks-wise) starts off neutrally or surprised, only to then then go through couples they actually know and come to the same conclusion. And with some, it doesn’t stop and they think of me and text me whenever they have an event or something where they meet couples – and you don’t run out of example after example. It has really reached a point where I’m fed up with it, as I have plenty of evidence and it’s not something I have influence over anyway.

It just feels liking wanting to date up (which it takes for me to feel attracted, looking realistically at myself and my targets, and be it mainly due to my baldness “alone”) as a man is even more of a mountain to climb. But it would just be nice to at this point see some encouraging examples that are just so rare to come by (these exmaples exist, but they are really the big exception). Do you have the impression you and your friends manage to date/f*ck up in Australia, strictly looks-wise, even through Tinder?
I definitely fuck up occasionally, same case with many of my friends but usually its not dating up. Typically within a point regarding dating. Most women your age I rarely find exceptionally attractive or even at this level, but if you had a full head of hair and had even noob gym gains I wouldn't be shocked if I saw you with an 8/10. I'd think nothing of it. I do think its virtually impossible with your shaved head that I'd see you with over a 6 though. Not impossible I see it occasionally but its very memorable when it occurs.

Some of the women you've said are interested that you've shown have been slightly more attractive than you though, so I'd consider that too.

Added in 16 minutes 36 seconds:
Hairblues wrote: 1 year ago She thinks my hair looks fine so I’m not sure if you are misinterpreting the post or not regarding her honesty as a friend.

I have no beef who she goes out with (Although she’s pushing 50 so not dating men with hair challenges is a little ridiculous in my opinion)
I just find her insensitive to discuss it with me. She’s forgets because my hair looks fine.
But I wouldn’t discuss boobs with a woman who had her breast removed ild be more sensitive. (yeah that’s an extreme comparison for my hair situation but I can’t think of a milder one at moment)

Added in 19 minutes 11 seconds:

I seriously doubt anyone is fucking her to be honest and she is just delusional.
"I seriously doubt anyone is fucking her to be honest and she is just delusional."

LOL I guaranfuckingtee you she has at least 30 guys more attractive than she is offering sex.

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#15436

Post by EvilLocks » 1 year ago

I don't know if this is the right place to ask people to be more selective OP :think:
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#15437

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

JLBB wrote: 1 year ago If I was a point more attractive and had the motivation to get a job when I'm spending $700 a week in expenses then maybe that would be accurate. I'm getting bored and already sick of hookups at this point even if the girl is attractive, I organised like 5 roots last week and ghosted all of them last minute, most were quite attractive too.

I was expecting a bullrun within a few years of crash, so I'm not at all surprised but do have much regret not selling all of my stack at the prior top, when realistically I knew that altcoins and tokens were overvalued by often 50-100x and that people at the top of the market had made so much money they didn't care about upside anymore. The only reason I didn't sell earlier when it started to drop was for tax reasons, and despite a huge tax bill the amount of money I would have made selling then and buying towards the bottom when the prices were crazy cheap would have been enough to retire on. At least this time I'll get the CGT discount.

That's funny that you mention more success on Bumble because I get none, although I don't have any suave photos in a suit, at a workplace, social outings etc to make me look like a serious person which is likely the issue, I only have a few selfies. As surprising as it sounds although I am very forward I do (and have had it confirmed a million times) give off a very sensitive and kind vibe. Bumble is mostly white professional women anyway and I prefer Asians and artsy types which are moreso on Tinder and Okcupid. Also I like to get puked on, not puke on others. Also pee can go either way.

Added in 7 minutes 46 seconds:



I definitely fuck up occasionally, same case with many of my friends but usually its not dating up. Typically within a point regarding dating. Most women your age I rarely find exceptionally attractive or even at this level, but if you had a full head of hair and had even noob gym gains I wouldn't be shocked if I saw you with an 8/10. I'd think nothing of it. I do think its virtually impossible with your shaved head that I'd see you with over a 6 though. Not impossible I see it occasionally but its very memorable when it occurs.

Some of the women you've said are interested that you've shown have been slightly more attractive than you though, so I'd consider that too.

Added in 16 minutes 36 seconds:



"I seriously doubt anyone is fucking her to be honest and she is just delusional."

LOL I guaranfuckingtee you she has at least 30 guys more attractive than she is offering sex.
Agree on baldness and especially age (as I see my friend with hair and similar rest looks-wise & same age) struggling with younger/truly attractive women for either sex or potential dating. And agree on what you write about that woman's prospects, at the same time 100% believing hairblues that she believes what she says. In some regards, men are (and therefore women's lives) are just so different from women's that it's hard to grasp without experiencing it first or second hand. Most guy I know see my struggles as perfectly normal, no woman believes or would believe me how little options I have, and that's little to do with sugarcoating me in this case.
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#15440

Post by Guest-2 » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote: 1 year ago Agree on baldness and especially age (as I see my friend with hair and similar rest looks-wise & same age) struggling with younger/truly attractive women for either sex or potential dating. And agree on what you write about that woman's prospects, at the same time 100% believing hairblues that she believes what she says. In some regards, men are (and therefore women's lives) are just so different from women's that it's hard to grasp without experiencing it first or second hand. Most guy I know see my struggles as perfectly normal, no woman believes or would believe me how little options I have, and that's little to do with sugarcoating me in this case.

This concept is not new in this decade.
Less attractive women have always been a source of an easy lay for good looking men vs the most attractive women.

When I was in HS BACK in the 80s most of the women who were considered sluts, were not particularly attractive gd the men who banged them.

So I’m not sure why you feel particularly infinged upon by this woman who we can all agree IF she’s banging men superior in looks to her, she’s not keeping them and she’s sleeping with them rather quickly.

The only women branded sluts who were actually hot when I was in HS tended to be because they stole another woman’s BF. So I don’t consider that really a slut it’s a smear by a jealous person. I befriended a few girls who were gorgeous in my HS who were really victimized by girls I knew. I kind of dated them to come at me but they didn’t. They were NOT actually sluts just hotties. I went clubbing with them a few times and never witnessed slutty behavior.
(Ramble story lol)

Back to the point.
How is this less attractive women you or probably no one on this thread would date or even want to stick their dick into affect your personal dating experience?
I’ve seen your taste and you don’t have super high standards but from your judging if that dude you have lower standards for men. (I think I’m in the majority of opinions on that with these posters)

Women have always been selective biologically.
I would say the biggest difference is less women settle then they used to because their isn’t a pressure to marry and have kids by age 25.
Would you prefer a time where women were motivated by social standing and not physical desire/passion?

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#15441

Post by EvilLocks » 1 year ago

Hairblues wrote: 1 year ago How is this less attractive women you or probably no one on this thread would date or even want to stick their dick into affect your personal dating experience?
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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#15447

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Hairblues wrote: 1 year ago This concept is not new in this decade.
Less attractive women have always been a source of an easy lay for good looking men vs the most attractive women.

When I was in HS BACK in the 80s most of the women who were considered sluts, were not particularly attractive gd the men who banged them.

So I’m not sure why you feel particularly infinged upon by this woman who we can all agree IF she’s banging men superior in looks to her, she’s not keeping them and she’s sleeping with them rather quickly.

The only women branded sluts who were actually hot when I was in HS tended to be because they stole another woman’s BF. So I don’t consider that really a slut it’s a smear by a jealous person. I befriended a few girls who were gorgeous in my HS who were really victimized by girls I knew. I kind of dated them to come at me but they didn’t. They were NOT actually sluts just hotties. I went clubbing with them a few times and never witnessed slutty behavior.
(Ramble story lol)

Back to the point.
How is this less attractive women you or probably no one on this thread would date or even want to stick their dick into affect your personal dating experience?
I’ve seen your taste and you don’t have super high standards but from your judging if that dude you have lower standards for men. (I think I’m in the majority of opinions on that with these posters)

Women have always been selective biologically.
I would say the biggest difference is less women settle then they used to because their isn’t a pressure to marry and have kids by age 25.
Would you prefer a time where women were motivated by social standing and not physical desire/passion?
The thing is: this woman is not/women are not the problem. In fact, women behave much more like me than most men in terms of knowing what they want and like and sticking to it. Not saying most men don’t, at least as regards serious dating/relationships, but they are more…flexible, lenient?

It’s why I can relate to the thread title. But to be fair, it’s also presumptuous to blame other men and their randomness for my dating life, at least when presuming that they are happy this way. I also agree that it’s childish and ultimately useless.

I ideally would never want to be with someone who is not attracted to me, it’s not (much) better than being with somebody I am not attracted to.

And this is the scary side of Tinder, its anonymity and related to that its presumed honesty: there are really not that many men women are physically attracted to, and tastes very much less than oftentimes claimed. Just because a certain guy of the 20% doesn’t suit some women’s taste (which happens often), does not mean that most men outside the top 20% (or top 10%) are guys a reasonable amount of women find physically attractive. And here it comes: I’m also assuming the (really not attractive) women who like me on Tinder do not see me as a guy they feel really attracted to, but maybe just the best deal they can possibly get. Why would a 2’s (or take the woman from the screenshot who likes 1 out of 50 men) genuine taste be different from an 8’s preference? I’ve speculated about some “adaption-gene” that I seem to be missing that helps you find people more or less your league attractive. Maybe it exists, but I don’t really believe so. In other ways: even when – with some benevolence - seeing myself as decent-looking, I’ve reached the belief that there can’t be a woman with plenty of options (and therefore high level of attractiveness) who finds me truly physically irresistible, but acceptable looks-wise at best. So, given this assumption, I might as well take the option you are offering, coming to think of it…
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#15448

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Hairblues wrote: 1 year ago How is this less attractive women you or probably no one on this thread would date or even want to stick their dick into affect your personal dating experience?
This is key, and I've been over this many times before, I think envy is at the root of it. It's a bit like the state of the economy in the West, the situation of the middle-class hasn't changed that much but the rich have been getting richer. Research has shown that once you have money to keep the bill collectors off your door, that's as happy as you will get (I know, very controversial to even state this), yet a lot of people (mostly on the left) will see the rich getting richer as something that's deeply wrong, unfair and of course affecting their lives directly somehow.

I see the same pattern here: how come some there are guys who manage to attract prettier women? The West bathing in narcissism is nothing new, it's even centuries old, this Lutheran idea that you somehow deserves praise and attention for being who you are, for no particular reason. Some people can't seem to shake off this feeling that the universe owes them the best, and if it doesn't happen, well something must be wrong, surely the world isn't set up properly, it's the women! It's the men not being picky enough! It's everyone else! Some people get random praise and attention so why couldn't I get that too?!

You end up confused because nothing seems to make sense anymore. Personally, I see everything life has to offer me as a gift, and of course I have my narcissistic moments too, as I've said, it's quite hard to avoid in our culture. When it comes to women, doesn't having the love of one woman solve it all? I'm not saying it's easy, but shouldn't you get there after years spent on the dating scene? Once you're there, @Hairblues will fully make sense to you, so of course engaged or married people like @EvilLocks and me will understand it quite easily.

Keep being picky and feeling entitled to better than what you have access to for no reason if you want, but it's not a game you can play indefinitely. Yes, women try to get the best they can get, just like men, and I don't see how there's anything wrong about that.
:christian-cross: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

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#15449

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote: 1 year ago When it comes to women, doesn't having the love of one woman solve it all?
If it only were or had only once been one I find attractive. "Love" sounds so noble when you yourself ultimately state it's about reaching for and hopefully getting the best you can realistically wish for. I still don't know where to draw the line between a false sense of entitlement and reasonable desire and ambition, but if I ever reach the conclusion that my wishes are hopelessly unrealistic, I will do everything to just withdraw from the dating scene and retract any ambitions and hopes related to it. Not out of spite, but because I'm wired in a way that I think it's the minus malum compared to letting myself to be chosen by a woman who happens to find a bald guy with a friendly face to be the best deal available to her. I know this sounds aggressive and confrontational by my standards, but only speak for myself, I don't mean to imply anybody who doesn't go about it like me is wrong or a coper.

I’m also aware that many of my posts on this topic must come across as passive-aggressive, which is more annoying to deal with than unhidden aggression. I do everything to avoid any of that in real life (except for three guys where the whole thing has gained a momentum I as mentioned don’t really like anymore), this is my outlet, so thanks for being so indulgent everyone. ;)
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#15450

Post by EvilLocks » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote: 1 year ago If it only were or had only once been one I find attractive.
I wonder what you would do, if you actually find yourself an amazing girl, one who you find attractive, and fall madly in love with her. Then, after a few years, you get married and she has your kids. Let's just hypothesize that she doesn't let herself go here, but that she doesn't look exactly like the girl you fell in love with after she's popped out your 3 kids, and gotten a bit older. What will you do then? Looks are important as I've said a million times before, but if it's the main and only reason for wanting someone you'll be in for trouble.
While I don't find your standards insanely high or anything, I think a lot of the problem lies in your head, and with your obsession of finding someone ''worthy'' physically.
It will not help you in the slightest overthinking everything, it will only waste your time. The world is as it is, it's not like you could change anything by overthinking, people will still be the same and they'll still date whoever they want to, regardless of your opinion!
Lastly, you're not a bad looking guy. I find it hard believing that it should be impossible for you to find a nice girl that you really like.
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#15451

Post by JLBB » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote: 1 year ago Agree on baldness and especially age (as I see my friend with hair and similar rest looks-wise & same age) struggling with younger/truly attractive women for either sex or potential dating. And agree on what you write about that woman's prospects, at the same time 100% believing hairblues that she believes what she says. In some regards, men are (and therefore women's lives) are just so different from women's that it's hard to grasp without experiencing it first or second hand. Most guy I know see my struggles as perfectly normal, no woman believes or would believe me how little options I have, and that's little to do with sugarcoating me in this case.
Depending on your specific interests, i'd say that's typically one of the few ways people end up dating up. I've fucked girls quite a bit more attractive in circumstances where we have common and in depth interest in things like film, music, the arts/culture etc. Or if you're making a shit ton of money, say 300k or more a year. I think you should just get an FUT transplant with a clinic geared towards giant megasessions like Hattingen or Hasson/Wong and it would likely fix your problems overnight, assuming the grafts yield well.

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#15452

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

EvilLocks wrote: 1 year ago I wonder what you would do, if you actually find yourself an amazing girl, one who you find attractive, and fall madly in love with her. Then, after a few years, you get married and she has your kids. Let's just hypothesize that she doesn't let herself go here, but that she doesn't look exactly like the girl you fell in love with after she's popped out your 3 kids, and gotten a bit older. What will you do then? Looks are important as I've said a million times before, but if it's the main and only reason for wanting someone you'll be in for trouble.
While I don't find your standards insanely high or anything, I think a lot of the problem lies in your head, and with your obsession of finding someone ''worthy'' physically.
It will not help you in the slightest overthinking everything, it will only waste your time. The world is as it is, it's not like you could change anything by overthinking, people will still be the same and they'll still date whoever they want to, regardless of your opinion!
Lastly, you're not a bad looking guy. I find it hard believing that it should be impossible for you to find a nice girl that you really like.
Obviously I can only theorise about this, but in my head, it would be something you could always live off in the future: knowing this is the person you were madly in love with until it transformed into something less exciting, but familiar, stable and its own way beautiful. I just don’t want to have lived a life where the first part got skipped. And this is the feeling I had during my last relationship: that I’m blocked for the (remote) chance to experience this and that I therefore waste my and my partner’s precious (especially in my case, given my age) time. I actually was less happy than I am now, because I now at least feel like I’m not betraying myself (or a partner).

I think you are honest when you call me “not bad looking”, just like I believe other people who tell me this. But: I just no longer believe it’s enough to attract a good looking (>>> “not bad looking) woman. And I do believe all women I like physically, while not models, are good looking. Did you ever fall for a guy a guy you’d describe as “not bad looking”? Has hairblues? While I have my assumptions, it’s not a rhetorical question, I am really curious. 

Added in 5 minutes 40 seconds:
JLBB wrote: 1 year ago Depending on your specific interests, i'd say that's typically one of the few ways people end up dating up. I've fucked girls quite a bit more attractive in circumstances where we have common and in depth interest in things like film, music, the arts/culture etc. Or if you're making a shit ton of money, say 300k or more a year. I think you should just get an FUT transplant with a clinic geared towards giant megasessions like Hattingen or Hasson/Wong and it would likely fix your problems overnight, assuming the grafts yield well.
I visited Hattingen, they are only one hour from me. They would only do FUT of which - coupled with my reluctance for a comromise that a NW 5-6 will always mean in terms of restoration - scares me. I know it sounds silly, but it would probably only take my friend (again: similar looks-league and boyish/friendly face, but with hair) to land some women I find attractive and I'd take the plunge.
Last edited by Arjen 1 year ago, edited 1 time in total.
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#15453

Post by blackg » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote: 1 year ago Not out of spite, but because I'm wired in a way that I think it's the minus malum compared to letting myself to be chosen by a woman who happens to find a bald guy with a friendly face to be the best deal available to her.
Hi mate. What exactly does minus malum mean?

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Guys, can't you please be more selective? :p

#15454

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

blackg wrote: 1 year ago Hi mate. What exactly does minus malum mean?

Google didn't help.
The lesser of two evils. The term was brought up back at school when the teacher raised the question whether shooting Hitler (i.e. killing a person) or letting him do his thing was the "minus malum". Do you have a hunch what That Guy might have replied to him? In any case, the term somehow stuck.
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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