Arjen wrote: ↑
7 months ago
Define „date WELL“. I am making the same experience, just that I am not blaming it solely on my NW 5-6. I‘ve tried deception too, just out of curiosity. There was some increase in likes, and while I‘d agree that the results would have been better with a full head of hair instead of a covered one, I am aware that I‘d generally even then struggle to get matches with women with which I‘d feel like I am dating „well“.
Do you indicate your height in your bio? I‘d do so and not use deceptive pics. At least you‘ll know they can‘t be negatively surprised when meeting and you will feel less forced to put it all on your appearance if it still doesn‘t work out repeatedly instead of confirming your theory over and over again. Does it mean you won‘t have any matches/dates at all anymore? Well, then welcome to my club and that of many full-heads I personally know.
Date well means dating a person who you find attractive. I don't have high standards. I used to want a high flying, slim, career oriented woman who takes care of herself. Now that I might have the chance to be a high flying guy myself, I'm happy with any slim woman who treats me and herself respectfully.
I don't indicate my height in my bio but note that I use multiple dating apps. Some of them have a height field and some of them do not. I've had similar experiences on all apps.
No full head should have an experience like we had with our honest, open NW5-6 photos. If a NW1 or NW2 is getting zero matches, he's simply not trying hard enough. Is he dressing well enough in the photos to give the correct vibe? Is he sufficiently in shape? Has he tried all manner of beard and haircut combinations (by far the most important thing...)? Has he tried all manner of poses and facial expressions? Look at the guys who date the attractive woman. You'll find that they usually aren't that special looking themselves. What they typically have is hair and no sign of hair loss. Guys like us wish that we could be just like these 'average' guys.
JasonStatham wrote: ↑
7 months ago
Everyone is using deceptive pictures. The women you date will come (in most cases) with a fake face anyway.
You should find a middle ground between a fake-ish picture and when you just got out of bed. Show a little bit of baldness but not too much. With normal pictures of my 100% real face I got only likes from 4-5 women (or under). With a bit of filter and good angles (but one that you still could see my flaws) the matches got better and more. I had one girl though telling me I look way different in person. Well, I still dated her
To me, if you went to over 40 dates you said and you couldn't even succeed with 1-2 of them, either you used very fake pictures or/and you are just horrible on dates.
What you could do and I said that in another thread (I think it was even to you lol) is going to a professional photographer and tell him open your story. Takes a bit of balls but he will make good pictures but not fake-ish ones and will hide a bit your flaws.
Or you just start to approach women in person but yeah...
I've had one or two successes and one or two near successes. But the last one of those was almost a year ago. The women who I meet are primarily classy and their in person looks match their photos. I've never borne them any ill will and hope that I never become a woman hater. I'm working on the in person approach thing. But wouldn't it be a bit silly for a NW6 to approach an attractive woman? I mean, wouldn't it be that much more silly than a NW1 doing so (which is already a bit crazy)? Can you really feel normal doing it? Now that I've learned definitively what a NW6 means for dating, I can't just put into my head "being in shape, having a good job, being well educated, having good manners and a good sense of humour etc. all matter" and cold approach. They do not. I'll have to just cold approach and see how it goes but it will feel awfully silly.
Rudiger wrote: ↑
7 months ago
As if the online dating cattle market isn't humiliating enough without using overly great pictures of yourself, only to meet the date in person and see her total disappointment. Then a few hours of polite courtesy, as she can't wait for it all to be over, and you, knowing this, just want it to end. "Have we been out long enough yet for this to be considered a "date"?"
Lol and the "who's gonna make the first move" being flipped on it's head- who's going to finally have the balls to put an end to this shit show.
I can understand how some guys would feel like "hey you gotta give yourself the chance to meet her, then you work from there
" but really, what are the chances that will work? She's not only going to be let down and not attracted to you (most important thing) but she'll feel deceived, and that either you must be deluded for thinking you can pass off in real life for looking like that, or you intentionally lied and will lie about other things too.
You must have to have zero self-esteem to really go through that so many times that you actually get a successful date from it.
On the contrary, I have high self esteem to go through with it. The point is that the embarrassment and shame of it does not bother me. FYI, I showed a forum person (male) both my deceptive and true photos and he felt that the deception was not so significant. I've been rejected within 15 minutes. She didn't leave but there was a clear verbal hint of a rejection. Then it was a matter of both people being polite. Anyway, regardless of this, what is the alternative for me? I always thought that having dates (practice) is better than not having them. Well, that hasn't really been the case but what else can I do?