Dating tips thread

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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Dating tips thread

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

thethirdman wrote:
1 year ago


How would you feel if it seemed as though you'd never get married or have children, if having a family and being a father was the most important and meaningful thing to you? You'd handle it just like I am doing but sooner or later you would not be able to cope any more, just like I might. I meet women from dating apps. I've met over 40 women with my deceptive photos and I am no closer to getting married than 2 years ago when I started all of this. I don't have friends to invite me to parties. Well, I have friends but they don't party much. I have tried going to bars and they are just too loud to do anything. I will try that again though. I am fully aware that day game is a myth in most Western cities. The women that you would like to meet during the day are at work during the day. Everybody suggests meeting women in places that aren't apps but they never state precisely how to do it. I'm not pointing the finger at you but many people do this. Then, when you ask them how they met their romantic partner, it's always "she met me". Well, that doesn't happen to guys who aren't NW1, no matter how in shape, successful, smart, well dressed, well groomed etc. etc. they are.
If the most important thing for you is to get married, why not join a church community? You also say that you dont have friends. A church community could give you an instant opportunity to meet people.

Why everyone just uses Tinder for dating? Why? Why is it so hard to get out and approach a woman?
How do you look from 1-10? and be honest. If you aren't AT LEAST a 6 you should delete Tinder and the other Apps TODAY.

Day game isn't a myth. Approaching women in Bars and Clubs isn't a Myth. It just takes work and 95% of men won't do that and will eventually settle down with a fatty or a single mother. It's your destiny too. I had this conversation a lot with Arjen and we both know people that are horrible with women and they eventually settled down with a waaaaaaaaaay less attractive women because of the fear of being alone. That for me sounds like hell to wake up every fucking day next to a Goblin (no offence).

If you want to know how to meet women and everything around it, buy this book:
https://www.rooshvstore.com/?utm_medium ... _source=rv

I read the book as well and it gives you everything you need to know. It's a big book but its entertaining to read and it also gives you advice when in a relationship.

I should write a book with the title: "Tinder isn't for ugly guys" - 10 Ways to still get a hottie.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
If the most important thing for you is to get married, why not join a church community? You also say that you dont have friends. A church community could give you an instant opportunity to meet people.

Why everyone just uses Tinder for dating? Why? Why is it so hard to get out and approach a woman?
How do you look from 1-10? and be honest. If you aren't AT LEAST a 6 you should delete Tinder and the other Apps TODAY.

Day game isn't a myth. Approaching women in Bars and Clubs isn't a Myth. It just takes work and 95% of men won't do that and will eventually settle down with a fatty or a single mother. It's your destiny too. I had this conversation a lot with Arjen and we both know people that are horrible with women and they eventually settled down with a waaaaaaaaaay less attractive women because of the fear of being alone. That for me sounds like hell to wake up every fucking day next to a Goblin (no offence).

If you want to know how to meet women and everything around it, buy this book:
https://www.rooshvstore.com/?utm_medium ... _source=rv

I read the book as well and it gives you everything you need to know. It's a big book but its entertaining to read and it also gives you advice when in a relationship.

I should write a book with the title: "Tinder isn't for ugly guys" - 10 Ways to still get a hottie.
I agree with your first suggestion (joining a church community).

And now it's time for a brand-new episode of my F(red) pill series:

For Tinder and other dating apps, they can be used efficiently at a little cost even by the average guy: just spam the hell out of the apps, cast a wide net and see what you catch. This is the normal dating dynamic and people need to understand this, women are picky as hell no matter the environment and it's never going to be easy unless you look like a male model, and even then, it's not like you'll be the only choice in town.

Day game, night game, mass-approaching women in general is dangerous. I'm not kidding here, especially for someone like OP who already seems neurotic and introverted. If you think those rejections don't come with a cost and you can just ignore them or rationalize them away, you're deluding yourself. You can see that on the RooshV forum by how many times they have to state that they either don't care about rejection, or by the number of threads where members ask how not to care about rejection.

It's a common mistake to believe that because something is not real in the material sense, it doesn't really exist anywhere but in your mind. Oh rejection is real, just like your personality make-up is real, when a woman tells you "you're not worthy of propagating your genes!", you'll feel it, and it's going to hurt like a bitch. At least it was the case for me, and I believe that the people who would truly don't care are quite rare.

The remedy to that is to wait for signs, I know it's not politically correct to say, and I know exactly why. An above average guy like me will get signs from roughly 1 in 10 women, so you can lower that bar considerably for average guys, and they just won't believe that it would be so rare, that way more women must secretly like them but won't show them, that if only they tried their luck, they would improve their success rate, if only they had the balls to approach en masse.

I'm sorry but that's not going to happen, buddy. This is a war, and war requires strategy, careful planning and that you pay attention. You don't leave the tranches all guns blazing hoping that you're going to be efficient and that you won't get shot.

Now about RooshV:

http://aaronsleazy.blogspot.com/2012/09 ... oesnt.html

He's a fraud, and anyone with some experience should be able to realize so by taking into account his looks, his demeanor and most importantly his constant whining and blaming women for not being able to have sex with them. Men who are successful with women just don't do that. I know I engaged in that at the time that I was dating less, or rather thought that I was entitled to better quality women. That stopped when I took a scientific approach to dating and realized that it was not as bad as I thought, it was way worse. That's why I'll keep the war analogy, and that certainly doesn't stop once you're in a relationship, if anything, that's when the real battle begins.

RooshV wouldn't know much about efficient dating and much less about relationships. His book is most likely filled with narcissistic power games that I would firmly advise against. I used to read his content and most of his advice is about abusing your power as a man, about dominating your partner, about how you don't owe them anything and you can just cheat on them because well, as a poor male victim, you better get them before they get you. I used to follow this advice like an idiot dating multiple girls at the same time also thinking that it was harmless for myself and for them, but it's just wrong. Your girlfriend (I know, cuck!) is supposed to be your equal and narcissistic power games to get what you want should be off the table. If you can't get a girlfriend and keep her while remaining truthful and fair, you shouldn't be with her, you have failed.

Anyway, to me, the reference when it comes to dating advice actually comes from a dead website, that thankfully can still be found here:

https://web.archive.org/web/20130306010 ... nmyth.com/

It won't be what you want to hear but it works, and it will make you aware of the constraints there are to dating like you can't imagine, the true red pill. Once you've integrated this advice and managed to find a girl, I believe Jordan Peterson has the best advice on what to do next, and even during the dating process for that matter. You can also turn to evolutionary psychology and listen to David Buss for example:



But whatever you do, do not rely on the advice of notorious PUA guru scammers who probably not only have less idea about what they're talking about than you do, but will also cause more confusion in your mind. Stick to science, common sense and the truth, even if it sounds horrible, because reality is often not as bad as you think, it's worse.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

Admin, you can't simply take my post from another thread and make a title on your own that misrepresents what I wanted to say.
If I wanted to write "the most effective dating strategy", which sounds like someone has the ultimate golden Key to dating, I wouldn't write just a bunch of paragraphs. That's very misrepresenting. I was aimed at the case from User: "thethirdman" and nothing more.

Now you giving a big ass answer and want to "Fred Pill" me lol. You tried to "Fred Pill" the guys on the roosh V Forum as well and they didn't take it nicely. So maybe that's why you just HAD to write this long reply?

I stated that if you want to know how dating works, the book "Game" from roosh V is your get-go.
Now you putt me here on trial with your Aaron Sleazy Guru.

Did you read the book "Game" or any other books from roosh? What's inside that isn't correct? you disagree?
I don't like the simple: "Oh this guy doesn't get laid bruh" answers. It's straight what exactly feminist said to his new book Game instead of pointing out what topic they disagree they just do "personal" attacks.


I disagree highly on Tinder and I think you live in a Bubble. Just because you get good matches, doesn't mean the rest of the world get it and they are countless proofs on that. Or you would settle down with a 4-5? Your girlfriend is a 7 right? We know you like to show us that you got a high score on "rate my looks sites" which is very fine to me to show us, I don't have a problem with people talking about themselves, but its just proves that you live in a Bubble and its a bit funny as well especially that we have a 60 pages Thread about a guy talking about himself.

How many Tinder profiles you had seen with not a good looking man?
What kind of matches do they get?

In another thread you said:

...to a bald dude that he needs 25 years to get 25 dates. Why here you tell us Tinder is good for everyone but in another thread you laugh about a bald guy needing 25 years for 25 dates?

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Admin, you can't simply take my post from another thread and make a title on your own that misrepresents what I wanted to say.
If I wanted to write "the most effective dating strategy", which sounds like someone has the ultimate golden Key to dating, I wouldn't write just a bunch of paragraphs. That's very misrepresenting. I was aimed at the case from User: "thethirdman" and nothing more.

Now you giving a big ass answer and want to "Fred Pill" me lol. You tried to "Fred Pill" the guys on the roosh V Forum as well and they didn't take it nicely. So maybe that's why you just HAD to write this long reply?

I stated that if you want to know how dating works, the book "Game" from roosh V is your get-go.
Now you putt me here on trial with your Aaron Sleazy Guru.

Did you read the book "Game" or any other books from roosh? What's inside that isn't correct? you disagree?
I don't like the simple: "Oh this guy doesn't get laid bruh" answers. It's straight what exactly feminist said to his new book Game instead of pointing out what topic they disagree they just do "personal" attacks.


I disagree highly on Tinder and I think you live in a Bubble. Just because you get good matches, doesn't mean the rest of the world get it and they are countless proofs on that. Or you would settle down with a 4-5? Your girlfriend is a 7 right? We know you like to show us that you got a high score on "rate my looks sites" which is very fine to me to show us, I don't have a problem with people talking about themselves, but its just proves that you live in a Bubble and its a bit funny as well especially that we have a 60 pages Thread about a guy talking about himself.

How many Tinder profiles you had seen with not a good looking man?
What kind of matches do they get?

In another thread you said:
admin.png

...to a bald dude that he needs 25 years to get 25 dates. Why here you tell us Tinder is good for everyone but in another thread you laugh about a bald guy needing 25 years for 25 dates?
I'm torn.
On one hand I totally agree with you: I see guys I deem better looking than Fred, you and me (no offence to any of us) struggling on Tinder, and I mean struggling - which is by the way also why I am assuming doubleidemnity must have a good face (mere impression of hair wouldn't do anything otherwise), leading me to think 3'000 grafts won't make a difference.
I am assuming Fred's main assets only come into play in person: height (indication of it in a bio will never be the same), eloquence (can only be demonstrated once you match with somebody), and that smile, I guess. So either it was way easier several years ago a/o Fred got luckier than anyone I know - and/or my taste is not remotely representative and/or (and this is the "on the other hand"-part, where I see admin's point) ... Fred has a different taste and finds (some of the) women with whom I or the guy I refer to match attractive. It's really tough to properly form an opinion with so many abstracts. I'll say it as it is: I - among others - showed Fred a girl that neither you nor anybody around me finds attractive or in their (or my) league. Fred saw her differently. And no, this is not say my taste is more refined, I simply don't findt "such a " woman attractive and do think all of us are better looking than her. I'm bringing "her" up to make my point less abstract.
All in all I really think that after your looks, your taste (somewhat related to your sex drive, I agree with hairblues on this) is the most important thing when it comes to gaining experiences. I am actively trying to force myself to meet women who I dont find physically attractive, just to get back in the game.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Admin, you can't simply take my post from another thread and make a title on your own that misrepresents what I wanted to say.
If I wanted to write "the most effective dating strategy", which sounds like someone has the ultimate golden Key to dating, I wouldn't write just a bunch of paragraphs. That's very misrepresenting. I was aimed at the case from User: "thethirdman" and nothing more.

Now you giving a big ass answer and want to "Fred Pill" me lol. You tried to "Fred Pill" the guys on the roosh V Forum as well and they didn't take it nicely. So maybe that's why you just HAD to write this long reply?

I stated that if you want to know how dating works, the book "Game" from roosh V is your get-go.
Now you putt me here on trial with your Aaron Sleazy Guru.

Did you read the book "Game" or any other books from roosh? What's inside that isn't correct? you disagree?
I don't like the simple: "Oh this guy doesn't get laid bruh" answers. It's straight what exactly feminist said to his new book Game instead of pointing out what topic they disagree they just do "personal" attacks.


I disagree highly on Tinder and I think you live in a Bubble. Just because you get good matches, doesn't mean the rest of the world get it and they are countless proofs on that. Or you would settle down with a 4-5? Your girlfriend is a 7 right? We know you like to show us that you got a high score on "rate my looks sites" which is very fine to me to show us, I don't have a problem with people talking about themselves, but its just proves that you live in a Bubble and its a bit funny as well especially that we have a 60 pages Thread about a guy talking about himself.

How many Tinder profiles you had seen with not a good looking man?
What kind of matches do they get?

In another thread you said:
admin.png

...to a bald dude that he needs 25 years to get 25 dates. Why here you tell us Tinder is good for everyone but in another thread you laugh about a bald guy needing 25 years for 25 dates?
The other thread was about whether @thethirdman should get a hair transplant in Turkey. I also found it peculiar that a dating advice thread had still not appeared in a section called "dating advice" so I thought your post was a good starting point for that discussion. I changed the title of the thread by the way. I may have done it a bit fast and I'm sorry if it seems a bit confusing.

I'm just telling you what I think here, you do what you want with that. I'm not attacking you personally or anything, I believe there is a lot of truth in what you say about using Tinder as an average or bald man. It's not hopeless though, and even the guy I mentioned in the other thread would only need a handful of dates. I was exaggerating in the other thread because Jordan Peterson clearly was exaggerating, saying "I'll go on 25 dates" to that guy. But it's an option, it's a tool and I believe you can use it while you explore other venues to meet women. I don't agree with the "just don't even bother with dating apps" advice.

I disagree with RooshV on a lot of points, and I also disagree with Aaron Sleazy, he's no guru either to me and even though he's closer to the truth than Roosh, he still gets a lot of aspects of dating wrong, like the fact that balding doesn't matter or that you shouldn't settle with any woman, and just do your own thing without caring about the girl's well-being or feelings.

And that gets me to what I find wrong in RooshV's philosophy, now I haven't read his book but I followed the guy very closely for a couple of years and I thought of what he said sounded true at the time. And he gets some things right. The main thing that he gets wrong is the same as Aaron Sleazy: that since women are all hypergamous sluts, you can throw morals out the window and all that matters is what you want. And then he tells you how to get it: lies, be aggressive, persevere, just don't give a fuck, do your own thing, give her orders. A lot of advice along those lines which are just plain wrong.

And when I say wrong, I don't mean it doesn't work, it bloody works, that's the beauty (or rather the ugliness) of it. If you follow Roosh's instructions, you'll get what you want, with enough looks and confidence, you will quickly be juggling women who submit themselves to you. The main thing that is wrong here is that you'll never know if she really wants to do all those things you ask from her, you will think that you're the man, that you're the alpha and that she should be submitting herself to you, that it's how things should be while dating or in a relationship, but sooner or later, it will backfire. Resentment will build up inside of her and you will end up paying for it, in one way or another.

Now that was more about Roosh's relationship advice, when it comes to dating and approaching, I explained in the other post. No you can't just go around asking women out and get rejected without it quickly taking a toll on you. The idea is similar, everything has a cost. And this is my main beef with the self-help industry in general, they focus on one aspect, like dating, or having sex, and then give you a method that's narrowly aimed at that. And again, it works, you'll get what you want, but what they fail to take into account are how using those often manipulative and dishonest method will negatively impact other areas of your life, your relationship and most importantly your own mind.

I know I live in a bubble to some extent at this moment but I know what it's like to lose a lot of your attractiveness at a young age. Dating with a full bald head at the age of 22 with pale skin and zero muscle was no picnic. I could still date but it was often painful, with the woman very easily changing her mind at the very beginning of the relationship. Some of them even flat-out said "I just can't date a bald guy". But I powered through at the time, and went on hopeless Tinder dates and got in relationships with women I didn't find very attractive. I used to have very few matches on Tinder and it never really changed, I still believe it's the default as European guy who's no male model. Dating is hard, always, it's supposed to be, and for me, as an introvert, it was never easier in real life, quite the contrary. To each their own in the end, I believe it's a mistake to dismiss online dating altogether even as an average guy.

To get back to @thethirdman, what baffles me is that he actually gets dates but the women seem to change their minds afterwards. Maybe it's not all down to his hair or looks, who knows?

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
The other thread was about whether @thethirdman should get a hair transplant in Turkey. I also found it peculiar that a dating advice thread had still not appeared in a section called "dating advice" so I thought your post was a good starting point for that discussion. I changed the title of the thread by the way. I may have done it a bit fast and I'm sorry if it seems a bit confusing.

I'm just telling you what I think here, you do what you want with that. I'm not attacking you personally or anything, I believe there is a lot of truth in what you say about using Tinder as an average or bald man. It's not hopeless though, and even the guy I mentioned in the other thread would only need a handful of dates. I was exaggerating in the other thread because Jordan Peterson clearly was exaggerating, saying "I'll go on 25 dates" to that guy. But it's an option, it's a tool and I believe you can use it while you explore other venues to meet women. I don't agree with the "just don't even bother with dating apps" advice.

I disagree with RooshV on a lot of points, and I also disagree with Aaron Sleazy, he's no guru either to me and even though he's closer to the truth than Roosh, he still gets a lot of aspects of dating wrong, like the fact that balding doesn't matter or that you shouldn't settle with any woman, and just do your own thing without caring about the girl's well-being or feelings.

And that gets me to what I find wrong in RooshV's philosophy, now I haven't read his book but I followed the guy very closely for a couple of years and I thought of what he said sounded true at the time. And he gets some things right. The main thing that he gets wrong is the same as Aaron Sleazy: that since women are all hypergamous sluts, you can throw morals out the window and all that matters is what you want. And then he tells you how to get it: lies, be aggressive, persevere, just don't give a fuck, do your own thing, give her orders. A lot of advice along those lines which are just plain wrong.

And when I say wrong, I don't mean it doesn't work, it bloody works, that's the beauty (or rather the ugliness) of it. If you follow Roosh's instructions, you'll get what you want, with enough looks and confidence, you will quickly be juggling women who submit themselves to you. The main thing that is wrong here is that you'll never know if she really wants to do all those things you ask from her, you will think that you're the man, that you're the alpha and that she should be submitting herself to you, that it's how things should be while dating or in a relationship, but sooner or later, it will backfire. Resentment will build up inside of her and you will end up paying for it, in one way or another.

Now that was more about Roosh's relationship advice, when it comes to dating and approaching, I explained in the other post. No you can't just go around asking women out and get rejected without it quickly taking a toll on you. The idea is similar, everything has a cost. And this is my main beef with the self-help industry in general, they focus on one aspect, like dating, or having sex, and then give you a method that's narrowly aimed at that. And again, it works, you'll get what you want, but what they fail to take into account are how using those often manipulative and dishonest method will negatively impact other areas of your life, your relationship and most importantly your own mind.

I know I live in a bubble to some extent at this moment but I know what it's like to lose a lot of your attractiveness at a young age. Dating with a full bald head at the age of 22 with pale skin and zero muscle was no picnic. I could still date but it was often painful, with the woman very easily changing her mind at the very beginning of the relationship. Some of them even flat-out said "I just can't date a bald guy". But I powered through at the time, and went on hopeless Tinder dates and got in relationships with women I didn't find very attractive. I used to have very few matches on Tinder and it never really changed, I still believe it's the default as European guy who's no male model. Dating is hard, always, it's supposed to be, and for me, as an introvert, it was never easier in real life, quite the contrary. To each their own in the end, I believe it's a mistake to dismiss online dating altogether even as an average guy.

To get back to @thethirdman, what baffles me is that he actually gets dates but the women seem to change their minds afterwards. Maybe it's not all down to his hair or looks, who knows?
My impression is that you guys are not too far apart actually. I get that there is no need to dismiss Tinder/online dating as a tool. But since you are a sensitive guy just like I am: how come the (implicit) rejection never got to you? Because I'll admit, it's having an effect on me. I am no longer convinced I can find a woman I find attractive who could be attracted to me, I am actually convinced of the opposite by now, thinking Tinder is the full and brutal reality. No more nuance-friendly rationalisation helps me shed this feeling at this point, so I think it has to be said that dating apps can, for some, be toxic - especially as long as you don't define dating success with being able to fuck a girl at all.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
I see guys I deem better looking than Fred, you and me (no offence to any of us) struggling on Tinder, and I mean struggling
First, I'd be careful about trying to evaluate a man's looks as a man, I believe a lot of our disagreements stem from that. We truly think we can rate other men as other women rate them, but I've seen anecdotal evidence all over the place that we're fooling ourselves.

This has caused me to fight a lot with @Hairblues and the other women on HairlossTalk in the past, even doing things as stupid as telling her that she was not being honest with herself when she rated some men I found attractive unattractive or vice-versa. Tastes matter a lot and it's now obvious to me that women don't perceive men the way we do. For a while, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that a lot of women found Vincent Cassel attractive:

Image

Second: I don't know what you mean by struggling. You know my method (which might not be optimal because of the algorithm stuff) was to swipe right as many girls as possible in my area every day, so 100 girls every day at the time, I don't know if it's still limited to that number per day. Out of that, I would get only a handful of matches a day, but a handful a day quickly adds up.

And, obviously, no the ~100 (out of 3000, if you're following, that's a conservative estimation) women I would end up matching with weren't all unsightly obese or ugly. Of course not, I then proceeded to a selection and out of those matches, half of them would usually not even reply or be fakes, half of that would lead to a conversation which did not lead to a date, and finally, the rest I got dates with, and most of them were decent-looking in the sense that they were thin and with at least an average face or better. And half of them on average led to something (make-out or sex).

So yeah, I still think, that if you apply my strategy above and you think that all those women are not good enough for you, you're difficult man :p. We always get back to that in the end. To get back to my second point, if I tell you like this: well my matching success rate on Tinder was 0.03%, what does it inspire you? Am I struggling or not? Yet the end result is quite pleasant, at my peak right before meeting my girlfriend, I was having sex with another girl almost every day of the week, and again, they were quite cute to me.

To me it seems that a lot of men just don't want to accept that dating is hard, painfully hard, they believe that they must be the only ones struggling and it must be because they're not male models. Those goddamned male models that girls throw themselves at. This is true to an extent for some girls, but this idea can be broken apart with a bit of experience and by reading some studies. Many women know their value and won't go there, mainly because they're not stupid and know what's likely to happen: getting pumped and dumped to use an old manosphere term. That's why guys who are less gifted in the looks department can have their chance, whether it's online or offline.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

You just told me I don't have any experience, so of course I get it a bit personal :)

In his new book (which I read) there are a few pages about balding and I found it funny to read from our hardcore hair loss perspective.
Yes, he stated that if you are balding, you just should shave it and move forwards and it "doesn't affect you that much as you think". That could mean anything. Of course he cant go full "get 3 hair transplants bruh" route but he is starting his book with first improve your looks as much as you can which most the the "PUA" gurus wont tell you. He also cant go full lookism mode and tell you that you need to do surgery to improve yourselfe. That's a decision people have to do personally.
Like I said. Just because not everyone like us is so focused on hair, doesn't mean everything he writes is just shit. I can understand that a guy with full hair wont ever have the same perspective than we have and not everyone thinks hair is that important like you Admin. And that comes from me that also did a hair transplant :lol:. But I still fully know, that not everyone is like us. We decided to go this way.
I explained in the other post. No you can't just go around asking women out and get rejected without it quickly taking a toll on you. The idea is similar, everything has a cost.
So getting almost no matches or writing to hundreds or even thousands of women on dating apps won't do a toll on you? Because that's the reality of a lot of man mate :) If a guy gets 0 to little matches on Tinder, they will project it in their real life and think they are not worth it. What do you say to a guy like this? Still using Tinder?

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
My impression is that you guys are not too far apart actually. I get that there is no need to dismiss Tinder/online dating as a tool. But since you are a sensitive guy just like I am: how come the (implicit) rejection never got to you? Because I'll admit, it's having an effect on me. I am no longer convinced I can find a woman I find attractive who could be attracted to me, I am actually convinced of the opposite by now, thinking Tinder is the full and brutal reality. No more nuance-friendly rationalisation helps me shed this feeling at this point, so I think it has to be said that dating apps can, for some, be toxic - especially as long as you don't define dating success with being able to fuck a girl at all.
Honestly you never get over it. If you are sensitive the dating game will take a toll on you. It even fucks with the "hardcore dude bruh" people that aren't really sensitive. Some guys get tired after 1 year and some after 20 years. But in the end they all want to settle down with a nice girl and feel in peace.

But if you just talk maybe 1 woman per month and she is rejecting you, of course you feel shitty. You have zero other options and its another 4 weeks for you to "try your luck".

Roosh v for example (I know you hate him Admin xD) says that approaching 1 woman per day is enough. I would bet 100 Franks with you that if you approach 1 woman a day outside of Tinder, you would tell us a lot of nice stories after even 1 month. I guarantee you that.

But each to their own. Wishing right on the toilet isn't the same satisfaction than going out. But maybe that's just me.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
My impression is that you guys are not too far apart actually. I get that there is no need to dismiss Tinder/online dating as a tool. But since you are a sensitive guy just like I am: how come the (implicit) rejection never got to you? Because I'll admit, it's having an effect on me. I am no longer convinced I can find a woman I find attractive who could be attracted to me, I am actually convinced of the opposite by now, thinking Tinder is the full and brutal reality. No more nuance-friendly rationalisation helps me shed this feeling at this point, so I think it has to be said that dating apps can, for some, be toxic - especially as long as you don't define dating success with being able to fuck a girl at all.
Aaand that's why I split the thread when it moved to dating advice, I love this kind of conversation (and I know you do too :p).

OK, you know when people tell you that online dating doesn't count because you're not really putting your ass on the line? It's because it's partly true, I used to fight tooth and nail against that idea probably to defend my ego. Let's put it this way, the rejection online can be contained on a more abstract level, which makes it hurt way less.

I don't know if that makes sense. People also say that dating is so virtual, fake, impersonal, again true, true and true to an extent. And that's the advantage initially. You can truly see that 99,97% rejection rate as something very abstract, less real, because in a way, it is. Now it comes with all sorts of problems that most of us know about: there's not much cost for men and women if they want to try their luck even if they're in a relationship.

Sometimes I slipped, in the sense that I would take the rejection very personally and make it more real than it had to be. And then attribute all sorts of evil intents to that woman, instead of just immediately letting it go and tap on "unmatch". I knew I shouldn't complain and act like a little bitch, but I've done it way too many times, and every time I would feel like absolute shit.

When you go in too hard and get rejected in real life, there is no unmatch button, you get the whole package: the bitch face, the rolling eyes, the aggressivity, the "sorry, I'm not interested" and that activates the pain region of your brain. It hurts and there's no way around it. Online, it's just different, for better and for worse, you can keep it very abstract without much effort, but you have to be careful as a sensitive/neurotic guy as the more time you spend struggling with a woman who lead you on, the more real you'll make the rejection.

When I was very efficient on the dating scene, I managed to only concentrate on the women who were truly attracted to me and it made my life much easier and happier overall. I'll repeat the overused cliche again, you only need one woman to say yes, and you shouldn't take all the rejection (again 99,7% rejection rate) so personally, that's just how it is, that's how reality is for you and no amount of self-flagellating or struggling against it will make any difference. Just be grateful you have some opportunities, that women give you the time of the day, now if only you could see them as worthwhile :).
JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
You just told me I don't have any experience, so of course I get it a bit personal :)

So getting almost no matches or writing to hundreds or even thousands of women on dating apps won't do a toll on you? Because that's the reality of a lot of man mate :) If a guy gets 0 to little matches on Tinder, they will project it in their real life and think they are not worth it. What do you say to a guy like this? Still using Tinder?
Reply above ;).

And sorry for the experience bit, I think I knew it would come across as confrontational when I wrote it but didn't pay it much attention. I should have :p.

I hate talking in absolutes and I know that guys who get 0 dates from Tinder do exist, but I believe they're exceptions. If you don't get anything out of Tinder, I think you have work to do when it comes to your looks or your presentation (the way your pictures are taken). Or you're just irredeemably butt-ugly and you go in the bag with the exceptions.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

This kind of conversations I would love to have with a beer personally xD

How is Belguim to make a short trip over an extended weekend?

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
This kind of conversations I would love to have with a beer personally xD

How is Belguim to make a short trip over an extended weekend?
Do they serve the Bluemoon with that slice of orange there or is that a foreign thing? Be it as it may, I'm in, I want to compare my shiny head to you guys' hair transplants. ;)

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
This kind of conversations I would love to have with a beer personally xD

How is Belguim to make a short trip over an extended weekend?
Arjen wrote:
1 year ago

Do they serve the Bluemoon with that slice of orange there or is that a foreign thing? Be it as it may, I'm in, I want to compare my shiny head to you guys' hair transplants. ;)
That would be so cool to finally meet people from a hair loss forum in real life. I was close to it with DoctorHouse (I think he hates me now :p) and @blackg, but I was afraid he would bring an SJW mob with him to punish me for having mocked plus size women.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Hairblues » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
First, I'd be careful about trying to evaluate a man's looks as a man, I believe a lot of our disagreements stem from that. We truly think we can rate other men as other women rate them, but I've seen anecdotal evidence all over the place that we're fooling ourselves.

This has caused me to fight a lot with @Hairblues and the other women on HairlossTalk in the past, even doing things as stupid as telling her that she was not being honest with herself when she rated some men I found attractive unattractive or vice-versa. Tastes matter a lot and it's now obvious to me that women don't perceive men the way we do. For a while, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that a lot of women found Vincent Cassel attractive:

Image

Second: I don't know what you mean by struggling. You know my method (which might not be optimal because of the algorithm stuff) was to swipe right as many girls as possible in my area every day, so 100 girls every day at the time, I don't know if it's still limited to that number per day. Out of that, I would get only a handful of matches a day, but a handful a day quickly adds up.

And, obviously, no the ~100 (out of 3000, if you're following, that's a conservative estimation) women I would end up matching with weren't all unsightly obese or ugly. Of course not, I then proceeded to a selection and out of those matches, half of them would usually not even reply or be fakes, half of that would lead to a conversation which did not lead to a date, and finally, the rest I got dates with, and most of them were decent-looking in the sense that they were thin and with at least an average face or better. And half of them on average led to something (make-out or sex).

So yeah, I still think, that if you apply my strategy above and you think that all those women are not good enough for you, you're difficult man :p. We always get back to that in the end. To get back to my second point, if I tell you like this: well my matching success rate on Tinder was 0.03%, what does it inspire you? Am I struggling or not? Yet the end result is quite pleasant, at my peak right before meeting my girlfriend, I was having sex with another girl almost every day of the week, and again, they were quite cute to me.

To me it seems that a lot of men just don't want to accept that dating is hard, painfully hard, they believe that they must be the only ones struggling and it must be because they're not male models. Those goddamned male models that girls throw themselves at. This is true to an extent for some girls, but this idea can be broken apart with a bit of experience and by reading some studies. Many women know their value and won't go there, mainly because they're not stupid and know what's likely to happen: getting pumped and dumped to use an old manosphere term. That's why guys who are less gifted in the looks department can have their chance, whether it's online or offline.
Me Pas and eL often disagreed on men’s looks.

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Re: Dating tips thread

Post by Johnt1997 » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
Do they serve the Bluemoon with that slice of orange there or is that a foreign thing? Be it as it may, I'm in, I want to compare my shiny head to you guys' hair transplants. ;)
Hahaha I've had the blue moon in the UK, i can't decide if i love it or hate it but it is lethal stuff

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