Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Hairblues » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:45 pm

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatod ... /944870002

Basically lack of success is due to trying to date out of your league.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Arjen » Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:14 pm

So let's take a guy who is a 5 to 6 who gets no likes (not matches) except for a few women who are maybe a 3 and therefore doesn't get any matches with anyone his looks-league.
Then take a girl who is a 5 or 6 and gets 1'000+ likes and can select whom to match with (and maybe complain afterwards that the 8 she slept with only wanted sex, so going forward puts "no ONS" in her bio, but still swiping for 7s and up).

Who has less success and what is it down to? Trying to date out of league?

What I'm saying: the article only emphasis on gender differences in relation to age, which doesn't do online dating dynamics' justice.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Hairblues » Sat Aug 11, 2018 11:07 pm

Arjen wrote:
Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:14 pm
So let's take a guy who is a 5 to 6 who gets no likes (not matches) except for a few women who are maybe a 3 and therefore doesn't get any matches with anyone his looks-league.
Then take a girl who is a 5 or 6 and gets 1'000+ likes and can select whom to match with (and maybe complain afterwards that the 8 she slept with only wanted sex, so going forward puts "no ONS" in her bio, but still swiping for 7s and up).

Who has less success and what is it down to? Trying to date out of league?

What I'm saying: the article only emphasis on gender differences in relation to age, which doesn't do online dating dynamics' justice.

I don’t know, it’s not the actual study it’s an article about the study.


Here is the actual study. I didn’t read it because I’m out at the moment. Maybe it’s more informative I don't know.

http://advances.sciencemag.org/content/4/8/eaap9815

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by That Guy » Sun Aug 12, 2018 12:51 am

It is a common observation that marriage or dating partners strongly resemble one another in terms of age, education, physical attractiveness, attitudes, and a host of other characteristics
"No way! I see couples all the time where the girl is waaay more attractive than the guy! It's all about personality and confidence raWr xD" — Every brain-dead, college freshman hot girl on the internet who only fucks Chad.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Afro_Vacancy » Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:07 pm

I'm reading the study now. Unlike a lot of academic publications, it's written in standard English. Here are some additional things not mentioned in the article:

- The differences between New York, Boston, Seattle, and Chicago were small;
- Asian women and white men are the most attractive;
- For women, "desirability" peaks at 18, and for men it's at 50. Note that they're measuring desirability based on various factors, so it makes sense that the ages would be off from our naive expectations. Older women might just message more often.
- The way that they measure desirability, if I'm interpreting Figure 2 correctly, a 50 year-old white woman is comparable to a 25 year-old Black woman. The difference between Asian, White, and Hispanic females is comparatively small. A white man with a high school degree is as desirable as an Asian man with a college degree.
- People actually frequently contact those who are as desirable as they are. Expectations are mostly realistic. However, they very rarely contact those who are less desirable than they are.
- Both men and women write longer messages to more attractive partners. Women use more positive words when speaking with more desirable men, whereas men use fewer positive words when speaking with more desirable women (why??). Men are actually slightly more likely to get a response when they write a positive message.
- Most people initiate contact with partners spanning a range of desirabilities.

In the attached image, I show a figure from the paper which is the age distribution of users. If you're using that website, then New York is the best city to be a man. Seattle and Chicago are clearly the worst, as there are far more men than women who are active. I wonder if that website is representative?
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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by That Guy » Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:38 am

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:07 pm
Both men and women write longer messages to more attractive partners. Women use more positive words when speaking with more desirable men, whereas men use fewer positive words when speaking with more desirable women (why??).
I suspect the whole "chicks like assholes" philosophy probably has something to do with it.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Afro_Vacancy » Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:46 am

That Guy wrote:
Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:38 am
I suspect the whole "chicks like assholes" philosophy probably has something to do with it.
You're more generous than I am.

I was thinking that maybe men turn into submissive whiners when they're near beautiful women, whereas they feel like confident winners around less attractive women.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by That Guy » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:27 am

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:46 am
You're more generous than I am.

I was thinking that maybe men turn into submissive whiners when they're near beautiful women, whereas they feel like confident winners around less attractive women.
That's also quite possible

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by blackg » Tue Aug 28, 2018 1:47 pm

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:46 am
I was thinking that maybe men turn into submissive whiners when they're near beautiful women, whereas they feel like confident winners around less attractive women.
A beautiful woman often turns a confident man into a snivelling grommet who throws his boys under the bus in an instant.
Stop the caravans!

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Afro_Vacancy » Wed Aug 29, 2018 6:22 am

blackg wrote:
Tue Aug 28, 2018 1:47 pm
A beautiful woman often turns a confident man into a snivelling grommet who throws his boys under the bus in an instant.
They have power of us, both confident and non-confident men !

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Johnson » Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:44 am

If you think you are a 6 and you are not getting matches then you are not a six :(

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Arjen » Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:16 am

Johnson wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:44 am
If you think you are a 6 and you are not getting matches then you are not a six :(
You consider yourself a 6-7, right? That seems justified to me. Would you allow me to use a few good pics of you and swipe on Tinder in Zurich with them? I have Tinder Gold, so we could even see what amount and what level of girls give you a like. It would help prove your point, so are you in?

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by JasonStatham » Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:05 pm

Arjen wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 7:16 am
You consider yourself a 6-7, right? That seems justified to me. Would you allow me to use a few good pics of you and swipe on Tinder in Zurich with them? I have Tinder Gold, so we could even see what amount and what level of girls give you a like. It would help prove your point, so are you in?
Haha good luck fucking fattys and 4s and 5s..
To believe that a man can date in the same league Online, you have to be delusional. If its well known that women can Date easily 2-3 points above, why would you think a 6 can Date good looking women? You will end with matches from 2-3 points below you with the occasional looks match every 2nd month.

Johnson is maybe comparing it from an Asian country which does not count. When I was in Taiwan and I would give myself a conservative 6, I got hundreds of matches with shitty pictures but at home, it was nothing with the same pictures. Funny.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by Arjen » Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:15 pm

JasonStatham wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:05 pm
Haha good luck fucking fattys and 4s and 5s..
To believe that a man can date in the same league Online, you have to be delusional. If its well known that women can Date easily 2-3 points above, why would you think a 6 can Date good looking women? You will end with matches from 2-3 points below you with the occasional looks match every 2nd month.

Johnson is maybe comparing it from an Asian country which does not count. When I was in Taiwan and I would give myself a conservative 6, I got hundreds of matches with shitty pictures but at home, it was nothing with the same pictures. Funny.
Well, the way he put it he was speaking in absolutes, which is why I a) brought up the "challenge" and b) hope he accepts it.

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Re: Online dating study: trying to date out of your league

Post by JasonStatham » Thu Nov 15, 2018 1:54 pm

Arjen wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:15 pm
Well, the way he put it he was speaking in absolutes, which is why I a) brought up the "challenge" and b) hope he accepts it.
A lot of people are like this. And then you ask them to try Tinder in Europe with a 6 and suddenly reality kicks in.

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