Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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Arjen
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Re: Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Post by Arjen » Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:10 pm

Hairblues wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 1:44 pm
What country are you from? This seems to be a factor in what people consider average. I think people who travel a lot also may factor in.

I think most men are happy with sex appeal to varying degrees. But a few really want elevated ‘beauty’.
Did your exes have sex appeal? Like did your friends think them attractive? Did you ever notice other men check them out even casually?
This is good way I think to know if they are attractive and your have an elevated standard or not.
Also I’m always curious, do you have a high sex drive? I think this also sometimes biologically effects how attractive men find women. Like I think certain things will trigger an attraction easier than if lower or maybe even a normal sex drive.
This is why I think most women are pickier our sex drives work a bit different. We can go long periods without sex and be satisfied with occasional masterbation. Of
Course some women have super high sex drives BUT I also know with some of these women their are other things going on and I sometimes question the super high sex drive vs using sex to deal or cope with something. Maybe validation I don't know for sure.
I have had the occasionsal woman interested in me who I‘d say „look great from behind“: often quite tall (while I‘m
only average height), slim, fit, good hair - women that some men surely found and find attractive. But I personally didn‘t find their faces appealing enough. I like really cute girls, and I even prefer if they are short or average height. In my opinion, they are in highest demand, as face is still the main factor for everybody, so I deduct that they - unlike the women described - are above my paygrade and that is the reason they do not like me back (very simply put). Would you (or anybody) agree or is my subjective taste too influential here?

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Re: Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Post by Hairblues » Sat Sep 01, 2018 6:08 pm

Arjen wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:10 pm
I have had the occasionsal woman interested in me who I‘d say „look great from behind“: often quite tall (while I‘m
only average height), slim, fit, good hair - women that some men surely found and find attractive. But I personally didn‘t find their faces appealing enough. I like really cute girls, and I even prefer if they are short or average height. In my opinion, they are in highest demand, as face is still the main factor for everybody, so I deduct that they - unlike the women described - are above my paygrade and that is the reason they do not like me back (very simply put). Would you (or anybody) agree or is my subjective taste too influential here?

I can’t say. Never saw the women and never saw you.
I mean some women are beautiful but not ‘cute’ if you have a stereotype ‘type’, than yeah I think you may be too picky (which only effects you so no judging).
If you are saying they are butta faces (ugly face but sexy body) then it’s understandable. I can’t get into porn if woman has an ugly face no matter how hot her body or scene is.
I mean if a face like Gisell Buchen ( not really cute but also not perfectly beautiful just kind of very sexy and interesting but a fantastic body/hair) bugs you I would say way too picky. Lol. I have seen some from HairLossTalk rate women on a really ridiculous curve. I think most of us agree on this.
I’ve seen men criticize Angelina Jolie face on HairLossTalk. I get if not ideal type in fantasy world where people can pick anyone in world but most rational people would find that kind of odd to criticize her features.

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Re: Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Post by Arjen » Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:18 pm

Hairblues wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 6:08 pm
I can’t say. Never saw the women and never saw you.
I mean some women are beautiful but not ‘cute’ if you have a stereotype ‘type’, than yeah I think you may be too picky (which only effects you so no judging).
If you are saying they are butta faces (ugly face but sexy body) then it’s understandable. I can’t get into porn if woman has an ugly face no matter how hot her body or scene is.
I mean if a face like Gisell Buchen ( not really cute but also not perfectly beautiful just kind of very sexy and interesting but a fantastic body/hair) bugs you I would say way too picky. Lol. I have seen some from HairLossTalk rate women on a really ridiculous curve. I think most of us agree on this.
I’ve seen men criticize Angelina Jolie face on HairLossTalk. I get if not ideal type in fantasy world where people can pick anyone in world but most rational people would find that kind of odd to criticize her features.
They had at least average faces, but - to me - less cute/pretty faces (i.e. certainly not Bündchen-level;)) than the „cuties“.
I know it‘s difficult on such an abstract basis, I‘ll try to think of prominent examples.
I‘d guess I like the girls who have probably always been way above average and while they start losing ground as girls turn into women and men into men who come to appreciate a tall, slim woman with an ok face, I‘m still way more into the pretty „girlfriend-type“ girlie girl who by the way doesn‘t acutely trigger my sex drive more than the women mentioned - it‘s not a requirement for me for a relationship.
If choosing between two types:
Girl with pretty face X and maybe short, sturdyish legs
and girl with long, slim legs but face X minus one point, girl one would in most cases be my choice.

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Re: Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Post by Hairblues » Sun Sep 02, 2018 5:48 pm

Arjen wrote:
Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:18 pm
They had at least average faces, but - to me - less cute/pretty faces (i.e. certainly not Bündchen-level;)) than the „cuties“.
I know it‘s difficult on such an abstract basis, I‘ll try to think of prominent examples.
I‘d guess I like the girls who have probably always been way above average and while they start losing ground as girls turn into women and men into men who come to appreciate a tall, slim woman with an ok face, I‘m still way more into the pretty „girlfriend-type“ girlie girl who by the way doesn‘t acutely trigger my sex drive more than the women mentioned - it‘s not a requirement for me for a relationship.
If choosing between two types:
Girl with pretty face X and maybe short, sturdyish legs
and girl with long, slim legs but face X minus one point, girl one would in most cases be my choice.

This is super analytical. I like a variety of men. Just as long as they are attractive.
In my super picky self sure would be great they were all dark blondes with chiseled features and over 6 feet.
But I never feel like im missing something if it’s a 5’10 dark hair broken nose.
I had one ex who was often referred to as a ‘hard stare’ by my friends. Meaning at first glance ‘ugly’ then the more they looked at him it was like ‘wow he’s really sexy’.
He wasn’t ugly he just wasn’t the level of most of the men I dated BUT I had the BEST sex with him and never felt I was missing out on anything. I was with him for years. We are still friends and if he wasnt now married I would still screw his brains out on occasion (would never be in relationship with him again but our sex was fantastic and we both make each other laugh but our actual relationship was too up/down)

Anyway I feel like my specific type taste is kind of wide in variety. I assumed most people are.

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Re: Dating within your league and genuine/raw attraction

Post by Arjen » Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:25 am

Yesterday I had an extended chat through whatsapp with a former co-worker: originally from Bulgaria studied in Switzerland, now good job and husband and kid. Type bombshell, i.e. in high demand with no insignificant part of male population (although not my cup of tea).
After awhile, she asked me how my dating life was going, and I was like: "Ah, you know, it's not that easy."

Without me getting started, she brought up stuff like:
- I see it at the day nursery: decent looking to handsome men, average (or below) looking partners
- her female friends complaining that they can't tie down the handsome guys they get to have sex with, but still chasing (only) them despite being unhappy it means they remain single

I couldn't do much else than concur - with a woman!

@Admin : even she said that I overthink stuff and I should drop that & grow a bigger pair of balls. :P

What I may have to add here: I was sitting next to that woman at a stage where she was still looking for a partner. As we talked openly about it back then, I could in her case really see that what we'd call blue-pilled still exists: as long as he was ok looking, he had a chance, and they decision was made upon how their personalities matched, if he showed genuine and substantial interest, how the guy carried himself. She never had the expectations to feel crazy about the guy she was seeing (and she never did, even if he was handsome), but she wanted to see the potential to eventuelly love him, which she now claims she does more than ever with her husband. Honestly, if this were they standard for women, my outlook on my dating life wouldn't be nearly as bleak as it is. I just don't that a lot of (Swiss) women work like that.

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