Bumble vs Tinder

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
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Arjen
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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
Oh you can tell the truth, just not when it hurts someone.

So you'll be fine as long as you tell everyone things that they already agree with.

Good luck ever having an interesting and meaningful conversation that way.

"I agree with you" "oh I agree with you too!" "What's that? You have an opinion which clashes with my rigid belief system? That's hate speech! You shouldn't be allowed to speak!"

Banned! The totalitarians are having a field day in those positions of power. Hopefully it leads to platforms which were not designed for the fragile. Just look at what happened with Hairlosstalk's own Stalin character and the subsequent creation of this forum.

Edit: I have something else to say about this: you could easily argue that the people in charge at Bumble want to create a safe space for the women using that app because too many interactions like that could deter a woman from using the app.

And I think that we have the same problem as with women only gyms here. It's immoral for them to do so even even if it's in the interest of their business. We want people, and yes even women to be strong in our society. Up to now I haven't been able to find a better argument against those practices, especially since the other side will always advocate "muh free market!", and why not? Just think about what you're doing and what you're truly advocating for, how it will play out in the long term and what it says about your view of women.

The more those companies want to protect certain people, the weaker those people will get. It's one of the most conflicting messages of feminism, they want women to be strong and independent, but also to be seen as weak and in need of protection. I don't think you can have both of those, and I think we all know what would be the best choice for women, men and society at large in the long run.
I think it hurt her because she knew there is some truth to it, i.e. deep down she had to agree. It's the realistic accuracy of the message that triggered her, I am assuming.
Had it been a more general, less specific and “self-critical” (Hey, I know I’m only a 6 too!) statement, it would have hurt less, even if harsher, insulting words had been used.
And, quite seriously, how often do women whine about men not disclosing their intentions. “If at least they had told me they just want sex” This guy just added to reason for his motivation, and it would have been really interesting to read what they found offensive enough to ban a male member who had even paid for their premium version.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Admin » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
I think it hurt her because she knew there is some truth to it, i.e. deep down she had to agree. It's the realistic accuracy of the message that triggered her, I am assuming.
Had it been a more general, less specific and “self-critical” (Hey, I know I’m only a 6 too!) statement, it would have hurt less, even if harsher, insulting words had been used.
And, quite seriously, how often do women whine about men not disclosing their intentions. “If at least they had told me they just want sex” This guy just added to reason for his motivation, and it would have been really interesting to read what they found offensive enough to ban a male member who had even paid for their premium version.
Truth hurts as we say. Even though his personal resentment and bitterness seeped in when he said that the app was only designed for ugly women to get much hotter guys. For many people, it's a genuine way to meet the love of their life (not biased at all here :p).

It's true to an extent, only last weekend we visited friends of my girlfriend who just got engaged and yes, they met on Tinder too, and as far as I can tell, they're a genuinely fulfilled and functioning couple. So yeah, I'd say don't let your personal failures cloud your judgement on online dating.

Dating can be seen as desperate no matter in which on context it's unfolding. My girlfriend mentioned how a male coworkers of hers was doing speed dating and he was getting great results (no Chad by the way) and he liked it. Then she mentioned a friend of hers who tried speed dating told her: "oh it's all desperate men who go there", and again, it's her own resentment and arrogance that are clouding her judgement. She's projecting, failing to notice that she was there too.

That's a classic though, it reminds me of Wolf 'Mediterranean' Pack who'd vehemently claim that HairlossTalk was a place for crazy people.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
Truth hurts as we say. Even though his personal resentment and bitterness seeped in when he said that the app was only designed for ugly women to get much hotter guys. For many people, it's a genuine way to meet the love of their life (not biased at all here :p).

It's true to an extent, only last weekend we visited friends of my girlfriend who just got engaged and yes, they met on Tinder too, and as far as I can tell, they're a genuinely fulfilled and functioning couple. So yeah, I'd say don't let your personal failures cloud your judgement on online dating.

Dating can be seen as desperate no matter in which on context it's unfolding. My girlfriend mentioned how a male coworkers of hers was doing speed dating and he was getting great results (no Chad by the way) and he liked it. Then she mentioned a friend of hers who tried speed dating told her: "oh it's all desperate men who go there", and again, it's her own resentment and arrogance that are clouding her judgement. She's projecting, failing to notice that she was there too.

That's a classic though, it reminds me of Wolf 'Mediterranean' Pack who'd vehemently claim that HairlossTalk was a place for crazy people.
I think he (or I, for that matter) could be called out for his frustration, projection and resentment – but somebody forcing me to acknowledge a truth would not make me indignantly hit the cry-button.

I can understand men’s resentments: look at expectations, even when it comes to how you should approach/text a girl with many of which you can’t do anything wrong or right depending on just your looks. You get judged and categorized constantly, so please, accept being categorized yourself once in a while: “As I a 6 I rarely get to fuck looks-matched girls, because they usually get to do so with an 8, but I still want to fuck and just fuck, up for it?”

I know that my impressions do not do your dating life justice, but interestingly Jason – who has just like you met his girlfriend through Tinder, if I am not mistaken – has a similarly cynical view.
It looks like you have other examples, suggesting they are not the exceptions to which you of all people usually pay little attention. ;)

I also know (and see your point) you find it presumptuous I think all my non-single-friends are dating down or have settled down in terms of looks. It may well be and I most certainly hope they don’t perceive it that way, that’s all that matters. I keep ending up at the same point: maybe my feeling of when it’d be settling down (i.e. not even slight physical attraction) is not compatible with what I have to offer. But even when called out on that, I’d actually be open for an honest discussion, although facing your SMV is hurtful and intimate.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Arjen » 1 year ago

Admin wrote:
1 year ago
There is some truth to this, I have a high sex drive, and my girlfriend often complains about it. I really hope her libido will get higher once she goes off birth control.

I didn't know the 'getting possessed' look was hot to women. That's how my girlfriend describes it: "The demon/predator is there!" One look and she knows what I want :p.

So now I have one question, how's your libido @Arjen ?! :p
A new study was published here according to which around 50% of women have slept with their partners against their will, because they "had to", out of sympathy.
Some newspaper also asked women in the streets, if something like that's happened to them and they all seem to have a story to tell.
No men were asked, although more than 20% are affected by it, too.
I can definitely relate: I hardly ever felt like having sex with my ex. She always had to push for it, did everything she could to set an appropriate atmosphere and kept trying to find out what I find sexy. It pained me that I simply wasn't physically attracted enough, so came up with typical female excuses: tired, headache and: my sex drive just isnt' that high in general. Of course I masturbate daily...

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Hairblues » 1 year ago

Lol sleeping with someone when you don’t really feel like it but cave isn’t abuse. I’ve done that i never felt abused or mistreated.
This reminds me of the Chris Hardwick ex letter. Nothing she described read like abuse to me. (To be fair I can’t recall all of it).

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

Arjen wrote:
1 year ago
A new study was published here according to which around 50% of women have slept with their partners against their will, because they "had to", out of sympathy.
Some newspaper also asked women in the streets, if something like that's happened to them and they all seem to have a story to tell.
No men were asked, although more than 20% are affected by it, too.
I can definitely relate: I hardly ever felt like having sex with my ex. She always had to push for it, did everything she could to set an appropriate atmosphere and kept trying to find out what I find sexy. It pained me that I simply wasn't physically attracted enough, so came up with typical female excuses: tired, headache and: my sex drive just isnt' that high in general. Of course I masturbate daily...
Poor women. When I men sleep with a fatty while he is drunk and wake up next to a whale, he will regret it, but he won't go out and say: "I'm such a poor boy she made me do it buuuuh society please help me...."

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Hairblues » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Poor women. When I men sleep with a fatty while he is drunk and wake up next to a whale, he will regret it, but he won't go out and say: "I'm such a poor boy she made me do it buuuuh society please help me...."
That’s actually a pathetic comparison and you weaken the main point (women feeling this way is ridiculous) with this kind of statement.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by JasonStatham » 1 year ago

Nope, it isn't. Same with rape accusations and the #metoo movement. Regret = rape.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Hairblues » 1 year ago

JasonStatham wrote:
1 year ago
Nope, it isn't. Same with rape accusations and the #metoo movement. Regret = rape.
No that’s bullshit dude.

Their is shades of grey within Me Too for sure.

But I don’t know of a man whose been forced/raped against his will by a woman.

Have men been sexually harassed and sexually exploited by women? For sure!!
Have they been pressured forr sex in jobs? Im going to say yes maybe not in same quantities but it happens I’m sure.
That’s the equivalent.

That some are lying in Me Too or making very far reaching accusations doesn’t discredit the ones who are actually credible.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by That Guy » 1 year ago

Hairblues wrote:
1 year ago
No that’s bullshit dude.

Their is shades of grey within Me Too for sure.

But I don’t know of a man whose been forced/raped against his will by a woman.

Have men been sexually harassed and sexually exploited by women? For sure!!
Have they been pressured forr sex in jobs? Im going to say yes maybe not in same quantities but it happens I’m sure.
That’s the equivalent.

That some are lying in Me Too or making very far reaching accusations doesn’t discredit the ones who are actually credible.
Aziz Ansari was accused of "sexual misconduct" or whatever after a woman regretted sleeping with him.

Seriously. He didn't actually do anything; it was all consensual, but afterward, when she realized he isn't that great, started making all these elaborate excuses as to why he apparently committed a crime.

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Re: Bumble vs Tinder

Post by Hairblues » 1 year ago

That Guy wrote:
1 year ago
Aziz Ansari was accused of "sexual misconduct" or whatever after a woman regretted sleeping with him.

Seriously. He didn't actually do anything; it was all consensual, but afterward, when she realized he isn't that great, started making all these elaborate excuses as to why he apparently committed a crime.
I agree with you. I think I said this in my statement.
I’m the one who was defending Chris Hardwick before anyone else on this site.

His comparison is still bullshit for same reasons I said in my original post on it.

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