Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

Since hair loss and dating are closely intertwined: discuss how to improve your chances with women.
Post Reply
Sugar&Spice
Hair Loss Newbie
Hair Loss Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 1 month ago
Reputation: 17
Norwood: NW7
Regimen: Nothing

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26338

Post by Sugar&Spice » 1 month ago

Hey, new to the community, don’t really know how this works but I’m figuring it out :)

I don’t want to type a long winded message so I’ll keep it as short and as sweet as possible, and hopefully someone here can give me some sound advice.

This week I will be going on my first blind date since I lost my hair. My dilemma lies in whether or not I should wear a wig. If I wear a wig, should I act as if it is my natural hair or should I mention I am wearing one?

A part of me feels slightly guilty and dishonest if I didn’t tell him, but the other part of me is mortified of saying it, getting rejected, or possibly being left at the restaurant alone.

Any honest feedback would be greatly appreciated. I don’t know if it’s important but I am a 29 year old female from the US. Thanks for reading and/or any help.

User avatar
JLBB
Hair Loss Guru
Hair Loss Guru
Posts: 1046
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 2090
Norwood: NW1
Regimen: 0.25mg Finasteride

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26340

Post by JLBB » 1 month ago

Sugar&Spice wrote: 1 month ago Hey, new to the community, don’t really know how this works but I’m figuring it out :)

I don’t want to type a long winded message so I’ll keep it as short and as sweet as possible, and hopefully someone here can give me some sound advice.

This week I will be going on my first blind date since I lost my hair. My dilemma lies in whether or not I should wear a wig. If I wear a wig, should I act as if it is my natural hair or should I mention I am wearing one?

A part of me feels slightly guilty and dishonest if I didn’t tell him, but the other part of me is mortified of saying it, getting rejected, or possibly being left at the restaurant alone.

Any honest feedback would be greatly appreciated. I don’t know if it’s important but I am a 29 year old female from the US. Thanks for reading and/or any help.
The point of awkwardness seems to specifically be the moment you tell them, rather than the issue itself. If you feel it would be awkward in the moment early on, don't tell them and leave it for a later point in time to do so.

After seeing someone a few times if you assume you're going to see them more after that then its worth letting them know, prior to that it doesn't seem to have any benefit. Realistically wearing a wig is probably low on the list of dealbreakers, if you look good with a wig and they like you it probably won't make a huge difference. Even if you waited a month before telling them its not the end of the world, and if they break up with you over a wig then either they're an idiot or there was more to it than just the wig and you probably dodged a bullet either way.

On average most guys would be more concerned with whether or not the wig looks natural or anyone one else finding out than they are with the fact you wear a wig. It has a big short term awkward and weird factor but once you get past that its not a big deal, guys are more likely to accept the ick issue once they know you a bit better. If you're obsessed with hair loss and you have a poor quality wig its probably going to annoy a guy, if you tell them after a month and they haven't noticed yet they're more likely to accept the normality of the situation.

If a first date is going well it just seems like it could potentially cause more short-term awkwardness than it prevents to tell them, so I'd hold it for a bit and let them judge when they know you better. If they freak out then they're probably superficial as fuck or just wanted something short term anyway. At the end of the day unlike for men its socially acceptable and deemed normal for women to wear wigs.

User avatar
Corazón Xexos
Hair Loss Expert
Hair Loss Expert
Posts: 823
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 1050
Norwood: NW2
Regimen: Dutasteride 0.5 mg everyday
Age: 20

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26341

Post by Corazón Xexos » 1 month ago

Let's say you wore a wig and he fell for your great fake hair and how you look and even touched it and complimented you for it. How long are you willing to keep the facade of a hair and deceive him? Are you planning on laying him once with the wig stuck to your head and then move on? What if you found that you really like him and you want to enter a LTR with him, how would you reveal to him later on that you're actually bald hiding behind a wig?

I'd say be as natural as possible with your date and never fake anything, reveal to him on the spot that you'rewearing a wig and that you're suffering from baldness. If he doesn't like you, then fair enough you haven't lost anything, and if he does then you've gained someone special who's willing to look past your bald head.

User avatar
JLBB
Hair Loss Guru
Hair Loss Guru
Posts: 1046
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 2090
Norwood: NW1
Regimen: 0.25mg Finasteride

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26343

Post by JLBB » 1 month ago

Xexos wrote: 1 month ago Let's say you wore a wig and he fell for your great fake hair and how you look and even touched it and complimented you for it. How long are you willing to keep the facade of a hair and deceive him? Are you planning on laying him once with the wig stuck to your head and then move on? What if you found that you really like him and you want to enter a LTR with him, how would you reveal to him later on that you're actually bald hiding behind a wig?

I'd say be as natural as possible with your date and never fake anything, reveal to him on the spot that you'rewearing a wig and that you're suffering from baldness. If he doesn't like you, then fair enough you haven't lost anything, and if he does then you've gained someone special who's willing to look past your bald head.
At a very surface level this might seem like the easy solution but in the real world its autistic as fuck and doesn't take into account how human interaction works. If I went on a date with a girl and the first thing she did was mention her hairloss and that she wears a wig I'd probably think she was obsessed with it and it would tend to overtake anything else she had said in my mind. If anything it might make her appear awkward or superficial despite the fact that its honest. It creates novelty for no good reason.

If you were a man who had a hair transplant would you tell a girl? Would you feel its cheating them in some regard if you never told? The dishonesty here doesn't hurt the other person unless the other person is superficial as fuck, in which case its not worth getting upset over.

A relationship might fail simply because of an awkward first date, if a guy likes a girl it isn't going to to end if she hides that she's a wig wearer for a month. Better off doing whatever feels comfortable.

User avatar
EvilLocks
Hair Loss Expert
Hair Loss Expert
Posts: 699
Joined: 1 year ago
Reputation: 2320
Norwood: NW5
Regimen: Nada

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26344

Post by EvilLocks » 1 month ago

Sugar&Spice wrote: 1 month ago Hey, new to the community, don’t really know how this works but I’m figuring it out :)

I don’t want to type a long winded message so I’ll keep it as short and as sweet as possible, and hopefully someone here can give me some sound advice.

This week I will be going on my first blind date since I lost my hair. My dilemma lies in whether or not I should wear a wig. If I wear a wig, should I act as if it is my natural hair or should I mention I am wearing one?

A part of me feels slightly guilty and dishonest if I didn’t tell him, but the other part of me is mortified of saying it, getting rejected, or possibly being left at the restaurant alone.

Any honest feedback would be greatly appreciated. I don’t know if it’s important but I am a 29 year old female from the US. Thanks for reading and/or any help.

Hi there, nice to see another female on this forum!
YES, you should wear a wig. Or, it depends on how bad your hair loss is. Trust me on this, guys will most definitely prefer you wear a nice looking wig (not cheap looking) rather than showing up to a blind date visibly balding.
Most guys will be understanding, but I also feel like if you show up to a blind date visibly balding he might be put off right off the bat before you even get a chance to properly know each other.
I think there is a higher chance of the guy seeing you bald and running out the restaurant before you even see him, than him getting up and rejecting you because you come out with wearing a wig.
You say "since I lost my hair", which I take as you abruptly lost your hair, so you have alopecia right? Anyway it is truly terrifying, I have both been rejected because of my hair loss and gotten married after losing my hair, had a baby too.
Guys are as different as girls, but I truly don't think there are THAT many assholes out there who will get up and leave a woman at the table because she has lost her hair. You are putting yourself out there and it's scary I know...
Maybe you could talk with the guy beforehand, like online? You could let him know you are wearing a wig and if he has a problem with that. That way he has a chance of knowing the truth before committing to the date and you will not have to fear being rejected at a restaurant.
GOOD LUCK! :)

Added in 2 minutes 58 seconds:
DO NOT act if it's your real hair though. Especially if he asks, just be honest, as brutal as that feels. It is way worse lying and then having him find out you are wearing a wig later...
- straight from the top of my dome -

Sugar&Spice
Hair Loss Newbie
Hair Loss Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 1 month ago
Reputation: 17
Norwood: NW7
Regimen: Nothing

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26345

Post by Sugar&Spice » 1 month ago

Firstly, I just want to say thank you for all the replies so far. This forum has already made me feel a little less alone in my struggle. You all speak so honestly about the impact hair loss has on a person mentally, physically, and emotionally. It’s refreshing & helps me cope with my own personal issues and feelings. So thank you all :thumbup:

Again, I’m new and I’m so sorry but I don’t know how to take the quotes from other’s replies and repost them so that I can reply directly. But I am going to try to address each person here in a separate paragraph if it’s ok? My apologies, I don’t always intend to make things so difficult :roll:

JLBB : Thank you for your reply, it helped me to take a step back and look at the situation differently. If I understand correctly, you are saying it is more important to focus on finding the right time to tell the person instead of whether or not to keep it to myself. If that is what you mean, my question for you would be what exactly is a “comfortable” time to introduce the fact? Walking at a park?...while watching a movie?...I always seek to overthink when I need to reveal the truth. My wig is made from human hair, and it is as similar to my natural hair as I could find. Also, it was definitely NOT cheap, so I hope to goodness it doesn’t look like it is! Thank you again for helping me with that perspective.

Xexos : Thank you for your comments and advice. I really appreciate your candid view on the matter. No, I do not plan on sleeping with him immediately or having a one night stand. I have an OCD thing about diseases, but that is another issue for another tissue & time! And as much as I paid for this wig, I couldn’t risk having it ruined or damaged by attempting to wear it during intercourse. Also, I can relate to your post because it is how part of my mind talks to me and says just put it on the table straight away and get it over with so that no one’s time is wasted and no one feels lied to in the situation. Thanks.

JLBB (second) : Your reply to Xexos is what the other part of my mind is saying. And that is why I am so indecisive with my dilemma. I don’t want to be the crazy person that sits down and blurts out “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m bald” before the drinks are served. Personally, I do not feel like I am overly consumed or obsessed with my wig or lack of hair. Yes, it’s not ideal, but life rarely is and I don’t mind rolling with the punches. I’m just a genuine person that feels like I would be toeing the line of truth by not being fully honest and upfront.

EvilLocks : *High Five* for girl power! And I like your name, anyone’s locks can be evil and cruel. I was already leaning heavily toward wearing the wig because I’m still not comfortable going without it unless I am home alone.
And you are right, I had alopecia befall me suddenly and I guess I just feel like I didn’t have time to process or adjust to it before I lost my hair. Also, congratulations on your marriage and beautiful family! I hope you are all happy and healthy. It really gives me hope that I won’t be forever alone. Or maybe I will, but it will be because I’m a nut job, not because I’m bald. I can deal with that lol. Really appreciate your feedback and I think you’re right. The whole problem stems from having to put myself out there and fearing the rejection that may come with it. Something I have to look inside and deal with some more on a personal level. Thanks again!

User avatar
Admin
Forum Administrator
Forum Administrator
Posts: 2073
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 5373
Norwood: NW2.5
Regimen: 3 FUE hair transplants (5124 grafts), 5% minoxidil, hope.
Age: 30
Contact:

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26347

Post by Admin » 1 month ago

Sugar&Spice wrote: 1 month ago I don’t know how to take the quotes from other’s replies and repost them so that I can reply directly.
Here you can see how to quote multiple posts:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=227&p=24453#p24453
:christian-cross: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Sugar&Spice
Hair Loss Newbie
Hair Loss Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 1 month ago
Reputation: 17
Norwood: NW7
Regimen: Nothing

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26348

Post by Sugar&Spice » 1 month ago

Admin wrote: 1 month ago Here you can see how to quote multiple posts:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=227&p=24453#p24453

Testing..1..2..testing..1..2

THANK YOU, you beautiful soul. I promise to do better from now on.

User avatar
JLBB
Hair Loss Guru
Hair Loss Guru
Posts: 1046
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 2090
Norwood: NW1
Regimen: 0.25mg Finasteride

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26349

Post by JLBB » 1 month ago

Sugar&Spice wrote: 1 month ago Firstly, I just want to say thank you for all the replies so far. This forum has already made me feel a little less alone in my struggle. You all speak so honestly about the impact hair loss has on a person mentally, physically, and emotionally. It’s refreshing & helps me cope with my own personal issues and feelings. So thank you all :thumbup:

Again, I’m new and I’m so sorry but I don’t know how to take the quotes from other’s replies and repost them so that I can reply directly. But I am going to try to address each person here in a separate paragraph if it’s ok? My apologies, I don’t always intend to make things so difficult :roll:

JLBB : Thank you for your reply, it helped me to take a step back and look at the situation differently. If I understand correctly, you are saying it is more important to focus on finding the right time to tell the person instead of whether or not to keep it to myself. If that is what you mean, my question for you would be what exactly is a “comfortable” time to introduce the fact? Walking at a park?...while watching a movie?...I always seek to overthink when I need to reveal the truth. My wig is made from human hair, and it is as similar to my natural hair as I could find. Also, it was definitely NOT cheap, so I hope to goodness it doesn’t look like it is! Thank you again for helping me with that perspective.

Xexos : Thank you for your comments and advice. I really appreciate your candid view on the matter. No, I do not plan on sleeping with him immediately or having a one night stand. I have an OCD thing about diseases, but that is another issue for another tissue & time! And as much as I paid for this wig, I couldn’t risk having it ruined or damaged by attempting to wear it during intercourse. Also, I can relate to your post because it is how part of my mind talks to me and says just put it on the table straight away and get it over with so that no one’s time is wasted and no one feels lied to in the situation. Thanks.

JLBB (second) : Your reply to Xexos is what the other part of my mind is saying. And that is why I am so indecisive with my dilemma. I don’t want to be the crazy person that sits down and blurts out “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m bald” before the drinks are served. Personally, I do not feel like I am overly consumed or obsessed with my wig or lack of hair. Yes, it’s not ideal, but life rarely is and I don’t mind rolling with the punches. I’m just a genuine person that feels like I would be toeing the line of truth by not being fully honest and upfront.

EvilLocks : *High Five* for girl power! And I like your name, anyone’s locks can be evil and cruel. I was already leaning heavily toward wearing the wig because I’m still not comfortable going without it unless I am home alone.
And you are right, I had alopecia befall me suddenly and I guess I just feel like I didn’t have time to process or adjust to it before I lost my hair. Also, congratulations on your marriage and beautiful family! I hope you are all happy and healthy. It really gives me hope that I won’t be forever alone. Or maybe I will, but it will be because I’m a nut job, not because I’m bald. I can deal with that lol. Really appreciate your feedback and I think you’re right. The whole problem stems from having to put myself out there and fearing the rejection that may come with it. Something I have to look inside and deal with some more on a personal level. Thanks again!
If for example a guy gave a compliment on your hair at some point on a first date that would definitely be a queue to mention it. But in general otherwise I wouldn’t make an explicit point that you have to mention it or that it’s dishonest not to.

Everyone has areas of fault or personal secrets, it’s better in this case in my opinion to express it once you already have formed some level of interest or connection.

Maybe it’s just me but I think for most guys too if it was the first thing that was brought up it would probably become an unnecessary focus of attention. If you felt you wanted to at the end of a date that’s probably not a bad idea.

Otherthinking it in both directions doesn’t seem necessary. You need to tell them in a reasonable time frame but it’s not dishonest to wait until you’ve already mutually opened up to each other beyond basic greetings. Whether that’s on a first date or later on.

Sugar&Spice
Hair Loss Newbie
Hair Loss Newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: 1 month ago
Reputation: 17
Norwood: NW7
Regimen: Nothing

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26361

Post by Sugar&Spice » 1 month ago

JLBB wrote: 1 month ago If for example a guy gave a compliment on your hair at some point on a first date that would definitely be a queue to mention it. But in general otherwise I wouldn’t make an explicit point that you have to mention it or that it’s dishonest not to.

Everyone has areas of fault or personal secrets, it’s better in this case in my opinion to express it once you already have formed some level of interest or connection.

Maybe it’s just me but I think for most guys too if it was the first thing that was brought up it would probably become an unnecessary focus of attention. If you felt you wanted to at the end of a date that’s probably not a bad idea.

Otherthinking it in both directions doesn’t seem necessary. You need to tell them in a reasonable time frame but it’s not dishonest to wait until you’ve already mutually opened up to each other beyond basic greetings. Whether that’s on a first date or later on.
I have been in that situation with people before, just in passing or casual socializing and when someone compliments the wig it really does provide the perfect window to say that it is artificial. I just always feel my anxiety and overthinking creep up before I build up the courage to say it out. Even telling my close friends and family takes a lot out of me each time. I’m sure it’s just me being too in my head, but then that translates to me putting it off longer and longer and, in turn, I feel guilty for “keeping my secret” when I’ve really just been putting it off and procrastinating for no reason except pure insecurity.

User avatar
Pat
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Posts: 396
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 1222
Norwood: NW4
Regimen: Dutasteride, minoxidil, ketokonazole, dermarolling.

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26376

Post by Pat » 1 month ago

It's 2020 and you're a woman with a pulse. Wig or no wig - you'll be fine.

User avatar
Arjen
Hair Loss Expert
Hair Loss Expert
Posts: 967
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 1746
Norwood: NW5
Regimen: Shaving

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26378

Post by Arjen » 1 month ago

Pat wrote: 1 month ago It's 2020 and you're a woman with a pulse. Wig or no wig - you'll be fine.
Are you implying they need a pulse? When did you get so bluepilled? 😪
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

User avatar
rclark
Hair Loss Guru
Hair Loss Guru
Posts: 1620
Joined: 2 years ago
Reputation: 2380
Norwood: NW4
Regimen: Finasteride 1mg topical, topical Progesterone 2% (topical only, Minoxidil 15% hair growth only).
Using 1.5 mm needle on all bald/balding areas weekly.

Wearing a wig on a first date - advice needed

#26466

Post by rclark » 3 weeks ago

A lot of men wear wigs these days, it seems to be quite common in the United States. Especially now that it's winter, and it tends
to be cold outsite. Some days when I go to the store,I see ninety percent of men in their fifties/sixties with a full head of hair. Finasteride wasn't available for men for hair loss, in the United States until 1997.

It's very unlikely that a man in their thirties with a full head of hair isn't using some anti androgen for hair loss, if it's not noticeable
by that point.

If the wig looks natural for a person's age, then why say anything, in my opinion.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post