IoHL Community Coffee Shop

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blackg
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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by blackg » 5 months ago

I have Indian guilt.
behold the sins of our forefathers

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Uncle Grandfather » 5 months ago

JasonStatham wrote:
5 months ago
manlet?
Yep, 5'8/174 cm. But I'm not the only manlet at my office, though.
Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by JasonStatham » 5 months ago

Uncle Grandfather wrote:
5 months ago
Yep, 5'8/174 cm. But I'm not the only manlet at my office, though.
174 isn't bad. For me manlet is a guy that is 170cm and under. For a woman, it's every guy that isn't taller than her with heels on.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by blackg » 5 months ago

Men can always wear heels.
behold the sins of our forefathers

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 5 months ago

Career stress ...

I had a lot of data from a while back, beautiful data, that I finally had time to start thinking about this week. It doesn't come in a natural format, it needs to be compiled, etc. At first, I interpreted it incorrectly, and I started having panic attacks. I worried that I must have fucked up, and I imagined various other people that I've met chastising me for it, for being wasteful and incompetent, for being so sloppy that I couldn't even prepare for my best idea ... I just couldn't function during the late afternoon. I skipped dinner today. My heart was racing.

It turns out that everything that I had done prior to today was fine (probably). I just done a few small errors in my calculations today, educational errors too. It's all good and I'm more relaxed now. But I can't keep converging to a racing heart and catastrophizing on such a regular basis, it will kill me.

There's this job application due soon. I have most of the materials set up for it. All I had to do today was set up a username and password for the website of that job application, and I couldn't get around to doing it.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by C4L » 5 months ago

I quit my job recently and have no plan to acquire a new one :)

Have plenty of proposals on linkedin already though

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Uncle Grandfather » 5 months ago

JasonStatham wrote:
5 months ago
174 isn't bad. For me manlet is a guy that is 170cm and under. For a woman, it's every guy that isn't taller than her with heels on.
Appreciate the encouraging words, but it is in fact quite short. Nearly every other man my age is taller than me, and I routinely see women my height or sometimes taller.
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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by C4L » 5 months ago

JasonStatham wrote:
5 months ago
For a woman, it's every guy that isn't taller than her with heels on.
lol what a coping

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Admin » 5 months ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
5 months ago
Career stress ...

I had a lot of data from a while back, beautiful data, that I finally had time to start thinking about this week. It doesn't come in a natural format, it needs to be compiled, etc. At first, I interpreted it incorrectly, and I started having panic attacks. I worried that I must have fucked up, and I imagined various other people that I've met chastising me for it, for being wasteful and incompetent, for being so sloppy that I couldn't even prepare for my best idea ... I just couldn't function during the late afternoon. I skipped dinner today. My heart was racing.

It turns out that everything that I had done prior to today was fine (probably). I just done a few small errors in my calculations today, educational errors too. It's all good and I'm more relaxed now. But I can't keep converging to a racing heart and catastrophizing on such a regular basis, it will kill me.

There's this job application due soon. I have most of the materials set up for it. All I had to do today was set up a username and password for the website of that job application, and I couldn't get around to doing it.
I used to be the same and it still creeps in sometimes. A minor negative event happens and I think it's going to make my whole life crumble. It just means we're high in neuroticism. I think what helped me the most is reading about the big five personality traits and realize that that most of this process wasn't my fault, so I could already stop beating myself up for being such an emotional mess over nothing sometimes, I'm basically programmed to operate this way.

What are some things that help to manage high neuroticism: stable sleep patterns, waking up every day at the same time, have a protein-dense breakfast, keeping a tight schedule (but I suspect you already do those), I'm fortunate to also be quite high in the personality trait conscientiousness it helps me manage my neuroticism.

And your very-high intelligence and openness (you often say you're very curious) don't help here, as you can think up every catastrophic scenario possible and then back them up with very rigorous thinking so it will seem that they're solid and are bound to happen. That's what my psychologist used to tell me: "You have so much imagination! You really should think about writing a fiction novel!".

At work, I often think that I'm not operating at the best of my abilities (which is unfortunately painfully true), but then I have a meeting with my boss and he tells me that he cannot believe how much work I've been able to do, and that he's quite pleased with my performance. And I'm always like "wut? OK." I can go all over the place all the time because of I'm just interested in so many things and have many projects running simultaneously, like this forum now, and I worry about those too. But hell, I won't complain, I think my situation is a blessing, one of the most important aspect is that I make sure I don't get off-track with my catastrophic thinking and start flagellating myself because my expectations regarding my different projects get way too high and I fail to meet them.

By the way, I'd recommend that you take this personality test partly developed by the good doctor Jordan Peterson: https://www.understandmyself.com

It's done in like 15 minutes and then it compares your result against the whole database to accurately determine in what percentile you rank. Those results helped me tremendously when it came to assessing my personality, how to play on my strength and how to mitigate my weaknesses. Some of the results can be a slap in the face, like the fact that I was in the 1st percentile for assertiveness.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 5 months ago

Admin wrote:
5 months ago
I used to be the same and it still creeps in sometimes. A minor negative event happens and I think it's going to make my whole life crumble. It just means we're high in neuroticism. I think what helped me the most is reading about the big five personality traits and realize that that most of this process wasn't my fault, so I could already stop beating myself up for being such an emotional mess over nothing sometimes, I'm basically programmed to operate this way.

What are some things that help to manage high neuroticism: stable sleep patterns, waking up every day at the same time, have a protein-dense breakfast, keeping a tight schedule (but I suspect you already do those), I'm fortunate to also be quite high in the personality trait conscientiousness it helps me manage my neuroticism.

And your very-high intelligence and openness (you often say you're very curious) don't help here, as you can think up every catastrophic scenario possible and then back them up with very rigorous thinking so it will seem that they're solid and are bound to happen. That's what my psychologist used to tell me: "You have so much imagination! You really should think about writing a fiction novel!".

At work, I often think that I'm not operating at the best of my abilities (which is unfortunately painfully true), but then I have a meeting with my boss and he tells me that he cannot believe how much work I've been able to do, and that he's quite pleased with my performance. And I'm always like "wut? OK." I can go all over the place all the time because of I'm just interested in so many things and have many projects running simultaneously, like this forum now, and I worry about those too. But hell, I won't complain, I think my situation is a blessing, one of the most important aspect is that I make sure I don't get off-track with my catastrophic thinking and start flagellating myself because my expectations regarding my different projects get way too high and I fail to meet them.

By the way, I'd recommend that you take this personality test partly developed by the good doctor Jordan Peterson: https://www.understandmyself.com

It's done in like 15 minutes and then it compares your result against the whole database to accurately determine in what percentile you rank. Those results helped me tremendously when it came to assessing my personality, how to play on my strength and how to mitigate my weaknesses. Some of the results can be a slap in the face, like the fact that I was in the 1st percentile for assertiveness.
Thanks for the link, I'll try it soon.

Some of my stress might be from adderall extended release. I'm on a minor dose, but I do notice at least one side effect (reduced appetite), and anxiety / panic are also listed as side effects. I'm not always on the drug.

I have some career guilt over having underperformed in the period 2012-2016, approximately. There were a lot of reasons for that and I think that I've moved on. I'm not perfect now, but a lot better, more driven, more organized, more efficient, etc. However, the current project that I'm working on most of the time (not the one mentioned in the post above) is just ... genuinely convoluted. It's been delayed for months because I have kept on finding additional issues in the prior works, that need to be addressed. I'm actually getting a lot done, but because of the delays, it doesn't look like it.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by rclark » 5 months ago

Has anybody seen that show?

They take married couples who are having issues with their spouse, and hook
them up with someone who they are more compatible with.


On a hair note, they seem to take husbands on the same Norwood level (I'm not making this up),
and "swap them".

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by CaptainForehead » 5 months ago

Hey guys :)

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Admin » 5 months ago

CaptainForehead wrote:
5 months ago
Hey guys :)
Captain! You're back!

So glad to see you here :).

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by CaptainForehead » 5 months ago

Admin wrote:
5 months ago
Captain! You're back!

So glad to see you here :).
Thanks WhitePolarBear :)
Good to interact with you again!
Last edited by CaptainForehead 5 months ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by CaptainForehead » 5 months ago

C4L wrote:
5 months ago
I quit my job recently and have no plan to acquire a new one :)

Have plenty of proposals on linkedin already though
Damn man, you must be a good programmer!

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