IoHL Community Coffee Shop

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Admin » 5 months ago

Arjen wrote:
5 months ago
How does this go with your recommendation to "lower your standards"/"go for a looksmatch" - do you really think that is possible?
I would say looksmax as much as possible as long as you're stuck and can't move forward, and then see what you can get.

This may contradict what I was saying above, but I still have trouble determining how much status, intelligence and personality are part of the variance, because after all, they're as real as your looks.

Once thing is sure, it is part of the variance, you could say I have used my intelligence to get a hair transplants without getting butchered, or to (finally) admit to myself that lifting weights was important (and not only for women).

Let's put it this way, Arjen, what are you doing to truly increase your value? You already know the most radical way to do that for you. Other than that, I can't give you much advice, you said you were good at football, are you competing in an amateur club with men your age? I know it sounds stupid but it makes a little difference for girls to watch you compete or just be passionate about something.

After that I can only give you my own example, I don't have much of an idea of how I would fare on the dating scene now. My fiancée met me with a shaved head, no muscles, lower on the corporate ladder, not playing music on stage, etc. I've spoken about how small steps seemed to have a significant influence on how well I was doing with women.

For example, after I got my first "real" job, way less women would go silent after our dates than when I was like "yeah I'm unemployed", that's an easy one of course. Then I worked on my body, decided to start playing music on stage and one time got followed by a pretty girl after my performance, that was still with a shaved head. Only recently, I took looksmaxing further, put minoxidil on my face (oh no!) and now managed to grow a decent beard.

Those little "tweaks" rapidly compound, but none of them are that easily implementable. And I'm coming back to my main question to you, now phrased differently: you have a date, you get rejected, you get angry about it, you move on to the next date, between the rejection and the new date, what have you done to (truly) increase your value? And by that I don't mean, "develop your sense of humor" or "learn to listen", even though they can be useful to an extent, especially in a relationship.

Maybe I sounded like everything about you was fixed and hence you shouldn't bother. Oh no, you can change, but you're going to suffer through it, and it often seems to me that you're not ready to suffer, by I don't know, being a fool and take the plunge to get multiple hair transplants like I did. That would be a stupid move, no really, you're a NW5 and there's little chance that it works out, but be honest, is it your pride that prevents you from going there? I know bevause I've had your thought process, but I had been slapped around by life so much that I couldn't possibly give a fuck about not being an idiot who'd spend 10500€ on hair transplants.

Only yesterday my cousin told me I was crazy, and that I could have bought a Twingo for that price. Yes, I am crazy, I am a fool, and I like to believe that's the main reason I could get out situations that most reasonable people would like at and be like "yeah, he's fucked!". I hope I'm not rambling too much. To answer you question: increase your value (because it's possible) and then find out what you can get.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Arjen » 5 months ago

Admin wrote:
5 months ago
I would say looksmax as much as possible as long as you're stuck and can't move forward, and then see what you can get.

This may contradict what I was saying above, but I still have trouble determining how much status, intelligence and personality are part of the variance, because after all, they're as real as your looks.

Once thing is sure, it is part of the variance, you could say I have used my intelligence to get a hair transplants without getting butchered, or to (finally) admit to myself that lifting weights was important (and not only for women).

Let's put it this way, Arjen, what are you doing to truly increase your value? You already know the most radical way to do that for you. Other than that, I can't give you much advice, you said you were good at football, are you competing in an amateur club with men your age? I know it sounds stupid but it makes a little difference for girls to watch you compete or just be passionate about something.

After that I can only give you my own example, I don't have much of an idea of how I would fare on the dating scene now. My fiancée met me with a shaved head, no muscles, lower on the corporate ladder, not playing music on stage, etc. I've spoken about how small steps seemed to have a significant influence on how well I was doing with women.

For example, after I got my first "real" job, way less women would go silent after our dates than when I was like "yeah I'm unemployed", that's an easy one of course. Then I worked on my body, decided to start playing music on stage and one time got followed by a pretty girl after my performance, that was still with a shaved head. Only recently, I took looksmaxing further, put minoxidil on my face (oh no!) and now managed to grow a decent beard.

Those little "tweaks" rapidly compound, but none of them are that easily implementable. And I'm coming back to my main question to you, now phrased differently: you have a date, you get rejected, you get angry about it, you move on to the next date, between the rejection and the new date, what have you done to (truly) increase your value? And by that I don't mean, "develop your sense of humor" or "learn to listen", even though they can be useful to an extent, especially in a relationship.

Maybe I sounded like everything about you was fixed and hence you shouldn't bother. Oh no, you can change, but you're going to suffer through it, and it often seems to me that you're not ready to suffer, by I don't know, being a fool and take the plunge to get multiple hair transplants like I did. That would be a stupid move, no really, you're a NW5 and there's little chance that it works out, but be honest, is it your pride that prevents you from going there? I know bevause I've had your thought process, but I had been slapped around by life so much that I couldn't possibly give a fuck about not being an idiot who'd spend 10500€ on hair transplants.

Only yesterday my cousin told me I was crazy, and that I could have bought a Twingo for that price. Yes, I am crazy, I am a fool, and I like to believe that's the main reason I could get out situations that most reasonable people would like at and be like "yeah, he's fucked!". I hope I'm not rambling too much. To answer you question: increase your value (because it's possible) and then find out what you can get.
Basically we agree then in as that it improving your own looks/market value is the only way to go. Somebody recently told me like “Yeah, you can always use your taste as an “excuse””. Well, that’s not the case. I would just be so happy if finally a woman I find physically appealing thought the same about me – and I’d probably be so excited that I’d need to curb my enthusiasm. I really, really WANT that, and I very much doubt I’d run away, if that ever happened. What I’ve been trying – even in my last relationship – is to let myself in for women who I like as persons and who are interested in me (it’s baffling how their behavior, attention, activity etc. differs from the ones you pursue obviously), but it seems just impossible for me to develop physical attraction for them – and I am not yet at the point where I’d be content with just having a working partnership. So yes, it slightly irks me when I read suggestions to date “within my league” or even down. I’d truly be happy if I found more women attractive, but it’s hardly something you can teach yourself. If so, I’d be eager to learn it. Again, my fear has been (and is the reason why I’ve asked many to rate me and some women) that I only like the prettiest of the pretty, but while I’ve certainly liked girls other people find ugly or even plain, most men don’t see them as attractive, often enough (merely) “cute”. That gives me some hope at least.

As for looksmaxing: there are a few areas in which I’m not exhausting my potential. My upper body (and also posture). Plastic surgery I could consider regarding my chin and ears. And then, of course, my hair. I’m probably a NW6 rather than 5, and I just closely witnessed my brother’s result for 2 days during the Christmas period. He had a total of over 5k grafts with de Reys. Unlike me, for him hair is not something he can talk easily about, so I can’t bother asking him for details, but knowing him I am sure he had done all of his homework and beyond – yet the result is far from convincing and he is wearing a hat way more often than me.
I am (too) proud in many senses, but not on this. I’d do it in a heartbeat if I saw a decent chance of getting a nice head of hair. Secondly, it’s really nice to read from basically all of you how you’d rate me WITH hair (I myself would still be more critical of my looks even with hair), and I do believe it would make a difference, but seeing how other pretty good looking men with hair fare with women 7 and above, it’s making me question the effect of a haily-mary-hair transplant. I accept that point 2 may sound like an excuse, but for point 1 to be disregarded, I’d just need more evidence of high norwoods with good FUE-results. I think because of that alone I’ll need to see you in person someday! :P
Last edited by Arjen 5 months ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Admin » 5 months ago

Arjen wrote:
5 months ago
I’d just need more evidence of high norwoods with good FUE-results. I think because of that alone I’ll need to see you in person someday! :P
Oh I know how that works, no evidence will ever be enough.

Even I was thinking "can I still get another 1000 grafts without compromising the aspect of my donor?"

Then you see cases like this one (by Bisanga who refused to operate on me because I was too bald, but that guy is not I guess):

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=296

I was chased down by some people, and I saw them chase my high Norwoods who had had hair transplant, asking them dozens of questions, more pictures, for years, and then never did anything. There was a guy called sunchyme on HairlossTalk who would never stop with that.

My conclusion had to be that they just didn't want to get a hair transplant, because correct me if I'm wrong, if you expect perfection (even according to your standards) with girls, it makes sense to me that you would apply that line of thought to every area.

The guy who has those 6000 grafts above has slightly see-through hair, I do too under bright lights, even though it will still slightly improve in the next year. That's the only game in town, there's no road to paradise here, it's that or being bald.

Just like getting what you can get on the dating scene is the only game in town. What pushed me to get hair transplants was also my fear of hell, a place I've visited. I knew it would be way easy to go back there if I remained bald, and possibly permanently single because of it.

I'd love to meet you in person by the way ;).

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Admin » 5 months ago

Something to keep in mind if we ever organize a IoHL meetup, always have a member with hair in the group:

bald-nazi.jpg
bald-nazi.jpg (54.56 KiB) Viewed 765 times

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Arjen » 5 months ago

Admin wrote:
5 months ago
Oh I know how that works, no evidence will ever be enough.

Even I was thinking "can I still get another 1000 grafts without compromising the aspect of my donor?"

Then you see cases like this one (by Bisanga who refused to operate on me because I was too bald, but that guy is not I guess):

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=296

I was chased down by some people, and I saw them chase my high Norwoods who had had hair transplant, asking them dozens of questions, more pictures, for years, and then never did anything. There was a guy called sunchyme on HairlossTalk who would never stop with that.

My conclusion had to be that they just didn't want to get a hair transplant, because correct me if I'm wrong, if you expect perfection (even according to your standards) with girls, it makes sense to me that you would apply that line of thought to every area.

The guy who has those 6000 grafts above has slightly see-through hair, I do too under bright lights, even though it will still slightly improve in the next year. That's the only game in town, there's no road to paradise here, it's that or being bald.

Just like getting what you can get on the dating scene is the only game in town. What pushed me to get hair transplants was also my fear of hell, a place I've visited. I knew it would be way easy to go back there if I remained bald, and possibly permanently single because of it.

I'd love to meet you in person by the way ;).
I would say I am a pretty rational person, so I know perfection (which I’d admittedly prefer) is off the cards. But it should be more than the patchwork (it hurts me to write this) my very vain brother has on his head. Interestingly, his hair looks better grown out (still huge balding in the crown-area and very thin hair otherwise) than buzzed. I am reluctant to ask him (yes, he’s incredibly sensitive, even more so than I am – well, I’ve interestingly never been too sensitive when it comes to my balding, no idea why), but it’s possible he had to stop taking Finasteride, hence the “uneven” picture. His girlfriend knows it’s his weak spot, so she would not talk about it with him. She is only 23 and apparently doesn’t really mind. I can’t know for sure if she means it when she (just like my mother) says she thinks it looks better buzzed or even shaved (maybe to appease me, even though there is no need for that, but I can’t know for sure).

Anyway, it may be that even that illusion of a little more hair may make a positive difference, but I truly believe that his main advantages over me are his age, his face (more delicately chiseled features), his height.

But: even though I know it’d mainly do it for others, i.e. for an intended impact on third parties so to speak, not for myself (unlike with nice clothes for example), I irregularly have the thought of: fuck it, I can afford it, why not just give it a shot, it’s not like I spend my money on so many more useful things. Hattingen only wants do FUT on me, so I’ll probably have to travel to check with other places – maybe to Belgium? ;)

Spontaneous thought: with hair, to me it's very much NOT like the utopia of "once I have it/some, I'll be set" that you've repeatedly mentioned - I think if I did, I'd have gone ahead long ago.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Uncle Grandfather » 5 months ago

JasonStatham wrote:
8 months ago
174 isn't bad. For me manlet is a guy that is 170cm and under. For a woman, it's every guy that isn't taller than her with heels on.
I know I'm months late, but it just dawned on me how much this comment resembles those "come on bro, your hair loss is barely noticeable! I can't even tell!" types of remarks. Also if anything taller women are more accepting of manlets, at least based on my experience.
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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by JasonStatham » 5 months ago

Nameless is an obese 2/10 balding guy.

How can an adult guy in his 50s dislike random post because he can't get pussy and party like me?

Good Night all I will now go back to bed with my thick hair and 9/10 girl.

@nameless
Last edited by JasonStatham 5 months ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Arjen » 5 months ago

Stop trolling, you sad, obese cunt.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by JasonStatham » 5 months ago

There goes my road to 2k likes and Party :o

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by nameless » 5 months ago

Arjen wrote:
5 months ago
Stop trolling, you sad, obese cunt.
FU

I'm not trolling.
Last edited by nameless 5 months ago, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Arjen » 5 months ago

nameless wrote:
5 months ago
FU

I'm not trolling.
I was referring to Jason.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by nameless » 5 months ago

Arjen wrote:
5 months ago
I was referring to Jason.
Oops! Sorry. I'll give you some likes. Are we friends again?

Added in 3 minutes 36 seconds:
JasonStatham wrote:
5 months ago
...how can an adult guy in his 50s dislike random post because he can't get pussy and party like me?

Good Night all I will now go back to bed with my thick hair and 9/10 girl.

@nameless
I meant to hit the like button. I'll give you some likes.

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by JasonStatham » 5 months ago

nameless wrote:
5 months ago
Oops! Sorry. I'll give you some likes. Are we friends again?

Added in 3 minutes 36 seconds:


I meant to hit the like button. I'll give you some likes.
I do everything for likes.

EVERYTHING *WINK*

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Rudiger » 5 months ago

Image
~get 1k likes and party~ 8-)

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Re: IoHL Community Coffee Shop

Post by Rudiger » 5 months ago

Hey we got 10k Posts and Party
~get 1k likes and party~ 8-)

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