Afro_Vacancy wrote: ↑
1 year ago
. Due to your fear of confrontation (I think that's the reason), you have a tendency to not say what you mean. Another indicator is that you'll often backtrack on what you wrote, and sometimes you'll offer to take conversations to PM out of fear of a public confrontation.
I guess this is similar to WP discussions we have where you consider the benefit of the doubt, and I see where you're coming from, but just like WP discussions, I don't see it in relation to this individual.
He did say a final sorry in PM about the Xander thing (no owning up to lying about me booting zircon though?) but the apologies are pointless when they only come after being cornered in to it. At the time he lied about Xander posting the photo before, insisted on this and then left the forum and talked about retiring his username (if you didn't already read the link I posted before). He then even lied about having no clue as to why he was banned. It was a shit show and there was certainly no heartfelt apology there.
So simply I don't think it's as simple as avoiding confrontation, because there was a very simple "out" there, be honest and admit that it was wrong, that's what's frustrating about people like that, they only test other people to further call them out on it, causing more hostility. Why? They think they are smart enough to deny and deflect things and come out looking still flawless (of course the ultimate end goal for narcissists). But really it's just insulting other people's intelligence. Just like the lie about not realising I post here, which is a pretty pointless lie actually but from his perspective I think it's him wanting to take the high road and make me feel inferior "oh I didn't know the likes of ye turned up here, if I had known I'd never have shown up to this clearly neanderthal dinner party. I'll be on my way".
I know what you mean by him not enjoying direct confrontation (but I feel he's also snidey and gets little jabs in from time to time) and in this case he saw my first post, and clearly decided he didn't like it (but yeah who would?) and he doesn't want that all the time logging on here, which is fucking great. But his excuse of "I'd never have come anyway if I knew you were here" means I'm not forcing him out or have that power, he would have made that decision regardless.
I know it sounds like it's stretching it but it was obviously a lie that he didn't know I was here, and such a pointless lie, this is the only way I can make sense of it. And from such a guy as I view his mindset, well it makes sense to me.
But anyway more importantly, I think he feels a better chance of manipulation by PM, possibly in part he feels it will help avoid confrontation, sure, but the main thing is that he can be more complimentary, relatable, in private without looking weak to others reading it (again, narcissism) especially if the other person still responds harshly (which I'm likely to do, and have done). It's all a game, it's all fucking tactics, and it's so annoying every single time, it wasn't just sometimes, it was straight off the bat every time "I have nothing more to say on that but if you want to chat more let me know by PM". Like, why? So you think you'll have a better chance of being best buds? Jesus.
And I'm enjoying getting to write about him knowing he can't say shit, no wonder he took the liberty in doing so to me.