What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Hairblues » 11 months ago

blackg wrote:
11 months ago
Don't validate his wall of over analysis and paranoia.
And don't you start going off on these long tangents yourself.

Keep it brief.
Ah who the fuck you think you’re talking to?

I will cut your balls off if you keep talking to me like this.

Funny how you lecture these guys about equality MOST women would freak the fuck out at your patronizing way of speaking sometimes. Here is a hint, don’t talk to anyone male or female on this ‘Father knows best’ tone like we are children. It definitely doesn’t fly with me.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Rudiger » 11 months ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
11 months ago
. Due to your fear of confrontation (I think that's the reason), you have a tendency to not say what you mean. Another indicator is that you'll often backtrack on what you wrote, and sometimes you'll offer to take conversations to PM out of fear of a public confrontation.
I guess this is similar to WP discussions we have where you consider the benefit of the doubt, and I see where you're coming from, but just like WP discussions, I don't see it in relation to this individual.

He did say a final sorry in PM about the Xander thing (no owning up to lying about me booting zircon though?) but the apologies are pointless when they only come after being cornered in to it. At the time he lied about Xander posting the photo before, insisted on this and then left the forum and talked about retiring his username (if you didn't already read the link I posted before). He then even lied about having no clue as to why he was banned. It was a shit show and there was certainly no heartfelt apology there.

So simply I don't think it's as simple as avoiding confrontation, because there was a very simple "out" there, be honest and admit that it was wrong, that's what's frustrating about people like that, they only test other people to further call them out on it, causing more hostility. Why? They think they are smart enough to deny and deflect things and come out looking still flawless (of course the ultimate end goal for narcissists). But really it's just insulting other people's intelligence. Just like the lie about not realising I post here, which is a pretty pointless lie actually but from his perspective I think it's him wanting to take the high road and make me feel inferior "oh I didn't know the likes of ye turned up here, if I had known I'd never have shown up to this clearly neanderthal dinner party. I'll be on my way".

I know what you mean by him not enjoying direct confrontation (but I feel he's also snidey and gets little jabs in from time to time) and in this case he saw my first post, and clearly decided he didn't like it (but yeah who would?) and he doesn't want that all the time logging on here, which is fucking great. But his excuse of "I'd never have come anyway if I knew you were here" means I'm not forcing him out or have that power, he would have made that decision regardless.

I know it sounds like it's stretching it but it was obviously a lie that he didn't know I was here, and such a pointless lie, this is the only way I can make sense of it. And from such a guy as I view his mindset, well it makes sense to me.

But anyway more importantly, I think he feels a better chance of manipulation by PM, possibly in part he feels it will help avoid confrontation, sure, but the main thing is that he can be more complimentary, relatable, in private without looking weak to others reading it (again, narcissism) especially if the other person still responds harshly (which I'm likely to do, and have done). It's all a game, it's all fucking tactics, and it's so annoying every single time, it wasn't just sometimes, it was straight off the bat every time "I have nothing more to say on that but if you want to chat more let me know by PM". Like, why? So you think you'll have a better chance of being best buds? Jesus.

And I'm enjoying getting to write about him knowing he can't say shit, no wonder he took the liberty in doing so to me.
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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 11 months ago

Rudiger wrote:
11 months ago
I guess this is similar to Wolf Pack discussions we have where you consider the benefit of the doubt, and I see where you're coming from, but just like Wolf Pack discussions, I don't see it in relation to this individual.

He did say a final sorry in PM about the Xander thing (no owning up to lying about me booting zircon though?) but the apologies are pointless when they only come after being cornered in to it. At the time he lied about Xander posting the photo before, insisted on this and then left the forum and talked about retiring his username (if you didn't already read the link I posted before). He then even lied about having no clue as to why he was banned. It was a shit show and there was certainly no heartfelt apology there.

So simply I don't think it's as simple as avoiding confrontation, because there was a very simple "out" there, be honest and admit that it was wrong, that's what's frustrating about people like that, they only test other people to further call them out on it, causing more hostility. Why? They think they are smart enough to deny and deflect things and come out looking still flawless (of course the ultimate end goal for narcissists). But really it's just insulting other people's intelligence. Just like the lie about not realising I post here, which is a pretty pointless lie actually but from his perspective I think it's him wanting to take the high road and make me feel inferior "oh I didn't know the likes of ye turned up here, if I had known I'd never have shown up to this clearly neanderthal dinner party. I'll be on my way".

I know what you mean by him not enjoying direct confrontation (but I feel he's also snidey and gets little jabs in from time to time) and in this case he saw my first post, and clearly decided he didn't like it (but yeah who would?) and he doesn't want that all the time logging on here, which is fucking great. But his excuse of "I'd never have come anyway if I knew you were here" means I'm not forcing him out or have that power, he would have made that decision regardless.

I know it sounds like it's stretching it but it was obviously a lie that he didn't know I was here, and such a pointless lie, this is the only way I can make sense of it. And from such a guy as I view his mindset, well it makes sense to me.

But anyway more importantly, I think he feels a better chance of manipulation by PM, possibly in part he feels it will help avoid confrontation, sure, but the main thing is that he can be more complimentary, relatable, in private without looking weak to others reading it (again, narcissism) especially if the other person still responds harshly (which I'm likely to do, and have done). It's all a game, it's all fucking tactics, and it's so annoying every single time, it wasn't just sometimes, it was straight off the bat every time "I have nothing more to say on that but if you want to chat more let me know by PM". Like, why? So you think you'll have a better chance of being best buds? Jesus.

And I'm enjoying getting to write about him knowing he can't say shit, no wonder he took the liberty in doing so to me.
It is conceivable that I am generous and naive in giving people the benefit of the doubt. I do not know how to demonstrate this either way. In the case of Johnson, whether or not he wants to avoid confrontation is mostly independent of whether or not he has separate issues, and the reason(s) for why he wishes to avoid confrontation.

I agree with your philosophy on apologies. We live in the era of the cheap, performative apology, most recently made explicit by events in Hollywood. I honestly don't give a fuck about most apologies, as they happen for the reasons that you mention: people want an out, and feigning acknowledgment can provide that out when one is circled. The exception I make is for when people apologize when they do not need to apologize, if they do so prior to being caught. That is a prerequisite to a valid apology. In all cases, what is more valuable than the apology itself is an explicit acknowledgment of the underlying problem, a plan to resolve the problem, and actually implementing the plan. Actions are always more valuable than words or thoughts.

I do not think that Johnson is a bad person. That said I think that he has problems which result in him behaving badly. I realize that these two assessments may not actually differ much and that I need to think about it more.

In terms of him throwing "jabs", that's kind of like how when militaries engage in cross-border skirmishes. They try to provoke the other side to the maximum amount possible without necessitating a full-scale response.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Arjen » 11 months ago

blackg wrote:
11 months ago
Don't validate his wall of over analysis and paranoia.
And don't you start going off on these long tangents yourself.

Keep it brief.
Elaboratly picking somebody or somebody's points apart isn't necessarily an overanalysis in my opinion. That said, you also seem to be implying Fred's and Rudiger's points regarding WP and here Johnson are left unchallenged regarding content (afro's attempt left aside) because other simply can't be bothered to "overanalyze" - that appears to me as a lame excuse and leads to me as a "spectator" believing those making a convincing case even more than reality may indicate. I'd definitely be open-minded to anyone making an elaborate case for the users in question. Just saying.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Uncle Grandfather » 11 months ago

Johnt1997 wrote:
11 months ago
Don't really know much about this zircon guy, maybe i wasn't on the forum much when he wss active, but i dont see much wrong with what hes said there?

Basically saying both guys and girls can be shitty people and fuck people over; this is true. Don't get how that makes him a whiteknight to be honest.
It's just a good example of his pompous writing style, as well as his passive-aggressive tendencies (especially his last sentence in my screencap). His responses in the thread were a lot worse, though he deleted 95% of his posts so they're no longer visible, not even as quotes. I think the main reason I hated him was how much of an asshole he was to @Admin , which some people seem to forget.
blackg wrote:
11 months ago
I don't know who you are but you have really shown your limitations with this post.
Zircon was spot on in what he said here.
Only a man blinded by anger and resentment could find something wrong with that very reasonable post by Zircon that you screencapped.

That's the problem with anger and bitterness, it limits our abilities to reason... and think.
Who I was is irrelevant. Also see above. zircon was an angry and bitter person by your own definition.
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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by blackg » 11 months ago

I think Johnson asked a legitimate question and now he is being attacked for asking this question.

Also we are questioning his motives and character in general. This is sad.

On the subject of Dante: he was a little pompous at times and that's something I have little time for.
He seemed under the impression that he is well-read and cultured. Self delusion is a big problem on these kind of message boards, and I hope he is reading this.

Now someone also mentioned that Dante was "warm" towards the end of his tenure...
Hmmmm.

I will leave it there.
Last edited by blackg 11 months ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by blackg » 11 months ago

Hairblues wrote:
11 months ago
Ah who the fuck you think you’re talking to?

I will cut your balls off if you keep talking to me like this.
Well now you're just being ridiculous.
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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 11 months ago

Never chop off a koala's balls.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Johnson » 11 months ago

As Rudiger said I did apologise to Xander, and it was a delayed apology, mostly because I didn't realise what I did was wrong and it took a few people pointing it out for me to understand. If you remember, on the old board I posted my picture many times and I saw many people do the same as well, and didn't really see the big deal in it. In retrospect I should have realized that some people are a lot more private and I should have had more respect. I apologized to the moderator and xander and I thought the issue was in the past.

I wont write much about rudiger (he has me on ignore so he can no longer see my post and it would be unfair to attack him). All i will say is we had a long history of fighting online and my attitude was that he was mean spirited and he would attack a certain poster and write epicly long posts decontructing and analysing off the cuff remarks they made. I belive he got banned for doing this in the end after he attacked Wolf Pack. I remember there was a pm group at one point where people tried to get the guy banned because they felt he was so negative for the forum. And as for the zircon thing: i stick by what i said almost a year ago; i feel he was the one who caused him to leave by going to town on him.

I always liked these forums because we talk about interesting things that we wouldnt be able to talk about easily in real life. I really dislike whenever it gets personal, mostly because we dont actually know each other, and i try to avoid online fighting if i can help it. The last thing i want to do is go online and become even more stressed.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Hairblues » 11 months ago

Johnson wrote:
11 months ago
As Rudiger said I did apologise to Xander, and it was a delayed apology, mostly because I didn't realise what I did was wrong and it took a few people pointing it out for me to understand. If you remember, on the old board I posted my picture many times and I saw many people do the same as well, and didn't really see the big deal in it. In retrospect I should have realized that some people are a lot more private and I should have had more respect. I apologized to the moderator and xander and I thought the issue was in the past.

I wont write much about rudiger (he has me on ignore so he can no longer see my post and it would be unfair to attack him). All i will say is we had a long history of fighting online and my attitude was that he was mean spirited and he would attack a certain poster and write epicly long posts decontructing and analysing off the cuff remarks they made. I belive he got banned for doing this in the end after he attacked Wolf Pack. I remember there was a pm group at one point where people tried to get the guy banned because they felt he was so negative for the forum. And as for the zircon thing: i stick by what i said almost a year ago; i feel he was the one who caused him to leave by going to town on him.

I always liked these forums because we talk about interesting things that we wouldnt be able to talk about easily in real life. I really dislike whenever it gets personal, mostly because we dont actually know each other, and i try to avoid online fighting if i can help it. The last thing i want to do is go online and become even more stressed.
Zircon would not stop posting because someone was fighting with him. Not in his nature from what I know of him. I think he probably quit because of diminishing returns and self disgust because he was getting overly angry with some posters who he actually was giving a hard time to.

I’m not sure why you want to keep insisting it was rudigers actions. Trust me Zircon would not quit because of Rudiger he if anything would put him on ignore if they were indeed fighting (I don’t recall this)

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Johnson » 11 months ago

Hairblues wrote:
11 months ago
Zichrom would not stop posting because someone was fighting with him. Not in his nature from what I know of him. I thi k he probably quit because of diminishing returns and self disgust because he was getting overly angry with some posters who he actually was giving a hard time to.

I’m not sure why you want to keep insisting it was rudigers actions. Trust me Zichrom would not quit because of Rudiger he if anything would put him on ignore if they were indee fighting (I don’t recall this)
I just remember him attacking zircon a few times and I just joined the dots. Perhaps it was for another reason and perhaps we will never know. I was actually surprised how angry he got when I suggested it was his posts that made him quit.

It was sad how it all unfolded. When I first joined I used to fight a little with zircon and I also remember him being one of the most popular members on the forum. He and fred were two of the members who helped me become a little less blue pilled (although I still maintain that there are things that matter beyond looks). It was sad to see him become despised by certain members - which I think happened because of what he said to fred.

I know the reason why zircon went a little 'off' towards the end but he asked me not to write about it on the old forum due personal reasons: so I'm sure his behavior can be justified but I guess that's for him to do.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 11 months ago

Johnson wrote:
11 months ago
I just remember him attacking zircon a few times and I just joined the dots. Perhaps it was for another reason and perhaps we will never know. I was actually surprised how angry he got when I suggested it was his posts that made him quit.

It was sad how it all unfolded. When I first joined I used to fight a little with zircon and I also remember him being one of the most popular members on the forum. He and fred were two of the members who helped me become a little less blue pilled (although I still maintain that there are things that matter beyond looks). It was sad to see him become despised by certain members - which I think happened because of what he said to fred.

I know the reason why zircon went a little 'off' towards the end but he asked me not to write about it on the old forum due personal reasons: so I'm sure his behavior can be justified but I guess that's for him to do.
Rudiger did attack Zircon a few times, but it's not the reason that Zircon quit. I remember their fights and Zircon quitting happened long after. You might be confused as Zircon in fact "quit" on several occasions, he would go on long hiatuses and perhaps a previous departure of his was coincident in time with a fight with Rudiger.

Zircon's last departure was after he got into a fight with Fred. He was embarrassed by what he wrote. He said that he didn't believe that he could participate in the forum as a casual hobby, that he was always going to be obsessed with it.

I was actually surprised how angry he got when I suggested it was his posts that made him quit.
Dude, false accusations tend to piss people off.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Johnson » 11 months ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
11 months ago
Rudiger did attack Zircon a few times, but it's not the reason that Zircon quit. I remember their fights and Zircon quitting happened long after. You might be confused as Zircon in fact "quit" on several occasions, he would go on long hiatuses and perhaps a previous departure of his was coincident in time with a fight with Rudiger.

Zircon's last departure was after he got into a fight with Fred. He was embarrassed by what he wrote. He said that he didn't believe that he could participate in the forum as a casual hobby, that he was always going to be obsessed with it.

I was actually surprised how angry he got when I suggested it was his posts that made him quit.
Dude, false accusations tend to piss people off.
It seems like you remember what happened better than I did. I think i was just sad that he left because he was a great poster.

I hope he's okay either way.

Also, i spoke to buckthorn about 4 months ago and he's doing really well. I encouraged him to shave and he actually did! It actually looks really good and he told me he's happy with it too (he's a decent looking guy).

Hey, David - when will you give us a dating update? Last i remember you were succefully dating with a woman and you'd overcome the ed issue via ciallis.

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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by blackg » 11 months ago

Johnson wrote:
11 months ago
I just remember him attacking zircon a few times and I just joined the dots. Perhaps it was for another reason and perhaps we will never know. I was actually surprised how angry he got when I suggested it was his posts that made him quit.

It was sad how it all unfolded. When I first joined I used to fight a little with zircon and I also remember him being one of the most popular members on the forum. He and fred were two of the members who helped me become a little less blue pilled (although I still maintain that there are things that matter beyond looks). It was sad to see him become despised by certain members - which I think happened because of what he said to fred.

I know the reason why zircon went a little 'off' towards the end but he asked me not to write about it on the old forum due personal reasons: so I'm sure his behavior can be justified but I guess that's for him to do.
I'm sure Zircon had his bad points just like the rest of us. He is only human.
On the whole I warmed to him because, at heart, he was a man of reason.

I really wish Zircon would join us here.
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Re: What ever happpened to Dante and other old members?

Post by Johnson » 11 months ago

He probably doesn't even know the forum exists. He told me he would check in on the old forum but that was about it.

They've got no way of knowing about this place unless we pm then. I think someone made a post about it and shared a link and they were banned.

Wolf Pack on that ban hammer! I remember making a thread about banning and about Wolf Pack but half the forum supported Wolf Pack so it didn't get traction.

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