Have you given up in general? When or why?

Discuss how hair loss has affected you, someone you know, or a public figure.
thethirdman
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Have you given up in general? When or why?

#25688

Post by thethirdman » 3 weeks ago

Since 2017, I've wanted to get married and have children. I'm so ugly (bald, short, ethnic) and have failed so badly that I have set a date before the end of the year that I should just declare that I failed and should stop trying. What I have learned through this time is that attraction is not the same as fascination or interest or comfort or enjoyment. It's an automatic thing and people do not have control over it.

I'll be at peace with the fact that (I believe) ladies reject men not because they want to, and not out of spite, but because they do not feel this automatic attraction. If you are not attractive enough to have children then it is just because it's not beneficial, in a broad sense, for you to do that. So it's natural that I went bald and natural that, as a result, I can't have children.

If you're going bald and reading this, then I urge you to do whatever you can to keep your hair. Go for a FUE or a system if you can. Don't even think "I'll look good bald because I am in shape and have the right skin tone and head shape". You may look bald but what matters is how others think that you look. A bald guy will, when judged only on his looks, always be considered ugly and a loser. Also, don't think "I'll be able to get a wife because I'm charming, I have hobbies and I am successful." It does not work that way. When you are bald (and therefore unattractive) ladies will not feel any attraction toward you and will therefore walk away or dismiss you before they find out any of that. Even if a lady does find out all that about you, she is only going to feel interest or fascination, not attraction. Don't be mad at her or society; you are bald and it is only natural. For there to be winners in society, there must be losers. Work hard and pay your taxes regardless, to support the real humans. Being bald is one of the worst things that you can experience. You watch all your hopes and dreams disappear while you are completely powerless to stop it. Ask any bald guy how much he'd give to get his hair back and never to have gone bald, and you might hear an answer like 10x his yearly salary. I would gladly give 10 years worth of earnings to just live a better life.

Anyway, these are my last few months before I give up. That means that I give myself permission to give up trying to be successful with my health or my career and trying to keep my life interesting. I will be living the life that I deserve, not the life that I want.

Rant over. If you are in a similar position i.e. on the verge of giving up or have given up on enjoying life in general, what caused it and how long were you bald before you decided?

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Have you given up in general? When or why?

#25696

Post by JLBB » 3 weeks ago

thethirdman wrote: 3 weeks ago Since 2017, I've wanted to get married and have children. I'm so ugly (bald, short, ethnic) and have failed so badly that I have set a date before the end of the year that I should just declare that I failed and should stop trying. What I have learned through this time is that attraction is not the same as fascination or interest or comfort or enjoyment. It's an automatic thing and people do not have control over it.

I'll be at peace with the fact that (I believe) ladies reject men not because they want to, and not out of spite, but because they do not feel this automatic attraction. If you are not attractive enough to have children then it is just because it's not beneficial, in a broad sense, for you to do that. So it's natural that I went bald and natural that, as a result, I can't have children.

If you're going bald and reading this, then I urge you to do whatever you can to keep your hair. Go for a FUE or a system if you can. Don't even think "I'll look good bald because I am in shape and have the right skin tone and head shape". You may look bald but what matters is how others think that you look. A bald guy will, when judged only on his looks, always be considered ugly and a loser. Also, don't think "I'll be able to get a wife because I'm charming, I have hobbies and I am successful." It does not work that way. When you are bald (and therefore unattractive) ladies will not feel any attraction toward you and will therefore walk away or dismiss you before they find out any of that. Even if a lady does find out all that about you, she is only going to feel interest or fascination, not attraction. Don't be mad at her or society; you are bald and it is only natural. For there to be winners in society, there must be losers. Work hard and pay your taxes regardless, to support the real humans. Being bald is one of the worst things that you can experience. You watch all your hopes and dreams disappear while you are completely powerless to stop it. Ask any bald guy how much he'd give to get his hair back and never to have gone bald, and you might hear an answer like 10x his yearly salary. I would gladly give 10 years worth of earnings to just live a better life.

Anyway, these are my last few months before I give up. That means that I give myself permission to give up trying to be successful with my health or my career and trying to keep my life interesting. I will be living the life that I deserve, not the life that I want.

Rant over. If you are in a similar position i.e. on the verge of giving up or have given up on enjoying life in general, what caused it and how long were you bald before you decided?
I remember you PMing me a while back with your case and from what I can remember your donor situation wasn't particularly bad from what I saw. Realistically I do think transplants can give you a massively improved hair situation, your donor quality and hair type also looked good. Even your version of rock bottom and giving up is likely worse than a cheaper option transplant in Turkey if that was all you can afford.

"I would gladly give 10 years worth of earnings to just live a better life."

Specifically, you quite literally have the ability to do this. I don't disagree with your writings here and its eloquently put, but you can give up after the point that you've made the effort to rectify the situation. Fortunately hair transplants are not the most difficult thing in the world to endure or organise (if you have the money for them).

I think you consulted with Bisanga, for your case Lorenzo would be my first option. If Hasson/Wong were willing they would be a good choice and you should message them online. I've seen cases as bad as yours for which people have been given back their humanity and honestly looked outright good.

"I will be living the life that I deserve, "

I think you deserve to exhaust your potential options relating to your hair before you resign to this.

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Have you given up in general? When or why?

#25698

Post by rclark » 3 weeks ago

I gave up twenty years ago.

I grew up with smelly armpits. It just bothered me.

Then I had problems picking my nose. It's because I broke my fingers.

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#25767

Post by timoat » 2 weeks ago

Lower your standards.

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#25768

Post by Arjen » 2 weeks ago

timoat wrote: 2 weeks ago Lower your standards.
Yeah, basically do what most men do and date one to several points down and you‘ll get pussy, which apparently makes most men happy enough. Great recipe - for women.
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#25769

Post by Exodus » 2 weeks ago

Arjen wrote: 2 weeks ago Yeah, basically do what most men do and date one to several points down and you‘ll get pussy, which apparently makes most men happy enough. Great recipe - for women.
Do you really think of a relationship as just "getting pussy"? Lol. I cant see getting with someone just for sex, besides like a one night stand fuck and leave type thing

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#25770

Post by Char » 2 weeks ago

timoat wrote: 2 weeks ago Lower your standards.
Trite.

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#25773

Post by Arjen » 2 weeks ago

Exodus wrote: 2 weeks ago Do you really think of a relationship as just "getting pussy"? Lol. I cant see getting with someone just for sex, besides like a one night stand fuck and leave type thing
She wants/is willing to take me / get to stick my dick inside a non-obese female’s pussy - enough for a lot of men to date a woman.
Almost everybody has to lower their standards, including women, or most of us would be aiming for smart 9s we connect with. But lowered standards for females in most cases still means they aim for and usually get a really good deal in proportion to their own potential, whereas men are often all too ready and/or forced to lower their standards below their own level, which - unfortunately- is not identical with their SMV - inter alia due to the very reason that most males play into the hands of women with their excessive leniency.
In some recent post rclark mentioned fucking women he himself finds ugly. I mean, why do men do this, I really can‘t relate...
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#25774

Post by Exodus » 2 weeks ago

Arjen wrote: 2 weeks ago She wants/is willing to take me / get to stick my dick inside a non-obese female’s pussy - enough for a lot of men to date a woman.
Almost everybody has to lower their standards, including women, or most of us would be aiming for smart 9s we connect with. But lowered standards for females in most cases still means they aim for and usually get a really good deal in proportion to their own potential, whereas men are often all too ready and/or forced to lower their standards below their own level, which - unfortunately- is not identical with their SMV - inter alia due to the very reason that most males play into the hands of women with their excessive leniency.
In some recent post rclark mentioned fucking women he himself finds ugly. I mean, why do men do this, I really can‘t relate...
I agree but rclark is a major troll. None of his posts are serious lmao

I have seen some situations though where the guy is uglier. Usually theyre playing a niche

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#25778

Post by thethirdman » 2 weeks ago

timoat wrote: 2 weeks ago Lower your standards.
Should have mentioned this in the opening post. It doesn't work. I have had the same results with older, younger, poorer, richer, more overweight, low self esteem, high elsteem etc. women. "If you're bald, then you can just lower your standards and you'll be fine" is, in my opinion, one of the most damaging myths out there. Do you really think that, as somebody suggested above, a bald guy has a chance with, say, an obese woman? She is still a woman and is going to decide on whom she finds attractive in the same way. The same rules still apply. She might find the bald guy interesting, fun to hang around with, and impressive, but if she doesn't feel attraction towards him, there won't be any romance. This is all to say nothing of the fact that most men have standards for a reason, not just for fun or for their ego.

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#25785

Post by Guest-4 » 2 weeks ago

Arjen wrote: 2 weeks ago She wants/is willing to take me / get to stick my dick inside a non-obese female’s pussy - enough for a lot of men to date a woman.
Almost everybody has to lower their standards, including women, or most of us would be aiming for smart 9s we connect with. But lowered standards for females in most cases still means they aim for and usually get a really good deal in proportion to their own potential, whereas men are often all too ready and/or forced to lower their standards below their own level, which - unfortunately- is not identical with their SMV - inter alia due to the very reason that most males play into the hands of women with their excessive leniency.
In some recent post rclark mentioned fucking women he himself finds ugly. I mean, why do men do this, I really can‘t relate...
I can't tell to what extent you're venting and to what extent you actually believe all of that.

With a few exceptions, there are as many men as there are women, and the average man is not much better and not much worse than the average woman. People who end up in relationships end up with people who are on average about as much of a "catch" as they are.

I think that men do typically have lower standards for merely fucking. But this thread is about relationships, which is several decisions post-fucking, by that point standards will have approximately converged.

*****

Do you live in a rural area? If you do there might well be more single men near you than single women.

Added in 1 minute 43 seconds:
timoat wrote: 2 weeks ago Lower your standards.
That applies to many individuals -- but you don't know if it applies to thethirdman ...

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#25786

Post by blackg » 2 weeks ago

Arjen wrote: 2 weeks ago inter alia
You'd be better served by just saying among other things.
Roe v. Wade has got to stay

timoat
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#25878

Post by timoat » 1 week ago

thethirdman wrote: 2 weeks ago Should have mentioned this in the opening post. It doesn't work. I have had the same results with older, younger, poorer, richer, more overweight, low self esteem, high elsteem etc. women. "If you're bald, then you can just lower your standards and you'll be fine" is, in my opinion, one of the most damaging myths out there. Do you really think that, as somebody suggested above, a bald guy has a chance with, say, an obese woman? She is still a woman and is going to decide on whom she finds attractive in the same way. The same rules still apply. She might find the bald guy interesting, fun to hang around with, and impressive, but if she doesn't feel attraction towards him, there won't be any romance. This is all to say nothing of the fact that most men have standards for a reason, not just for fun or for their ego.
Sounds like you're blaming your baldness for not attracting a woman. Maybe it a personality problem, even harder to face. I know plenty of bald men who are 6s who have very attractive and nice wives and girlfriend. They are great guys.

Added in 4 minutes 37 seconds:
Arjen wrote: 2 weeks ago Yeah, basically do what most men do and date one to several points down and you‘ll get pussy, which apparently makes most men happy enough. Great recipe - for women.
This is why you dont attract women, your whole attitude sucks. Who said anything about "points" or going "lower", or "getting pussy". Most men have an inflated view of themselves, lowering their standards doesn't mean that you go below anything at all. Jesus Christ. Easier to blame your baldness than facing the fact that you're an asshole.

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#25881

Post by Arjen » 1 week ago

timoat wrote: 1 week ago Sounds like you're blaming your baldness for not attracting a woman. Maybe it a personality problem, even harder to face. I know plenty of bald men who are 6s who have very attractive and nice wives and girlfriend. They are great guys.

Added in 4 minutes 37 seconds:


This is why you dont attract women, your whole attitude sucks. Who said anything about "points" or going "lower", or "getting pussy". Most men have an inflated view of themselves, lowering their standards doesn't mean that you go below anything at all. Jesus Christ. Easier to blame your baldness than facing the fact that you're an asshole.
I’d agree that most men have an inflated view of themselves; doubt a lot of men are open to considering themselves lower than 6-7 or at least 5.
But it’s nothing compared to how females see themselves and are seen by females (especially if they aren’t THAT pretty, otherwise jealousy kicks in and leads to what can be observed all the time, even on this forum: most women get compressed in the “6-7” range, while in truth, some of them can be worlds apart), with starving and constantly rejected average to decent males subconsciously doing what’s been recommended in this thread: they lower their standards to the point that even below-average females are courted and treated in a way only the actual pretty ones got treated back in primary school where nature rather than pragmatism dictated people’s “tastes”.
If some guys can say that truly fulfills them, fine, good for them, no sarcasm here, but I don't see how it's to work for a minority to which I apparently belong and to which that just goes against their natures (that is more similar to that of females, i.e. not expecting supermodels but aiming for a deal that in most cases is an objectively good one, especially related to looks).
In the end, this like most discussions will be futile, as long as we don't get to talk specific examples, over and over, finally getting a feeling for others' standards and taste.
Even afro has seen the women I've dated and can affirm that they arent 3s or 4s.

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#25882

Post by Exodus » 1 week ago

Guest-4 wrote: 2 weeks ago I can't tell to what extent you're venting and to what extent you actually believe all of that.

With a few exceptions, there are as many men as there are women, and the average man is not much better and not much worse than the average woman. People who end up in relationships end up with people who are on average about as much of a "catch" as they are.

I think that men do typically have lower standards for merely fucking. But this thread is about relationships, which is several decisions post-fucking, by that point standards will have approximately converged.

*****

Do you live in a rural area? If you do there might well be more single men near you than single women.

Added in 1 minute 43 seconds:


That applies to many individuals -- but you don't know if it applies to thethirdman ...
men are definitely much more interesting and intelligent than women and much nicer too. wish i was bisexual so i could just get into a relationship with a man, it would be much easier to find a catch.

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