I finally buzzed my head

Discuss how hair loss has affected you, someone you know, or a public figure.
Hope4Hair
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I finally buzzed my head

#21006

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

The reality is neither as bad as I feared nor as good as I hoped.

I've been thinking about 'buzzing' for a hell of a long time. Probably a good two years. Somehow, lacking the common sense that I have, I suddenly decided to buzz my hair off this weekend, right before Christmas. What was it that did it for me?

It was seeing a number of wedding photos from a month or so ago, where I was one of the best men. The photos showed that my hairloss was really terrible. I have an emerging bald patch on my head that is pretty noticeable now, and also a n3.5 'island' of doom appearing on my front.

After seeing those photos, I think I really felt frustrated and upset. I wanted to try something different and went for a buzz cut. To be honest, after 48 hours, I've had ups and downs. The first hour it was strange to look at myself, I barely even recognised my face with my new look. But what followed was a sense of freedom and euphoria for a few hours.

Then this morning, waking up and feeling regret and fear. Now tonight I feel a bit calmer about it. The most shocking thing is that my hairloss looks WORSE with a buzz-cut, that is definitely the most fucked up part for me. My temple recessions have created a nasty looking 'M' sort of look, it's very jagged and sort of 'severe' to look at. The thing is, my hair looked shitty before, but it was kind of average, kind of 'fly under the radar' average versus what I have now, which is 'holy fuck' I'm a skinhead and everyone can see. It's either dying shitty looking plant on the top of my head with bad recession, or skinhead buzz with terrible recession contrasts.

I'm glad I have shaved. I now know how it looks, and I don't think it's time to completely shave it off yet, or at least continue to shave it off..

But I still have enough island hair and middle front hair (although a bit diffuse) to grow it out again. Depending on factors, I may still have another year or two of shitty haircuts before I have to buzz again.

To be honest, the buzzcut isn't terrible, but it's quite shocking when you aren't used to it. I heard a lot of people say stuff like that, now I know what they really mean. The daunting aspect is thinking, fuck, I have to wait 3 months (minimum?) to get some length back and cover the shitty diffuse island and shitty temple recession a little bit. 3 fucking months of looking like fuck. But it's my only way back to where I was. I have the rest of my life to go bald and shaved, I need to go back to where I was and accept shitty balding hair. It doesn't look great but for me it still looks better then a slaphead look.

The only cure in the meantime is my beard. Thank god I can grow one, and I'm counting on my beard to reduce the shock factor of my short buzz cut, if even just a little. The passage of time and safe passage back to the land of shitty partial hair cover is where I'm heading back to. I'm not quite ready for a longer trip in the land of buzzcut yet. My frontal island is still relatively thick, I can definitely continue to style it although I predict two-three years max, 18 months or something at the worst.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21010

Post by blackg » 7 months ago

Good post with an interesting and amusing take on the upcoming Christmas obligations regarding seeing people for the first time since, well.. last Christmas.

Do you get the feeling they are making mental notes on the progress of your hair loss like I do?
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I finally buzzed my head

#21011

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

blackg wrote:
7 months ago
Good post with an interesting and amusing take on the upcoming Christmas obligations regarding seeing people for the first time since, well.. last Christmas.

Do you get the feeling they are making mental notes on the progress of your hair loss like I do?
Hi BlackG. It’s ‘LastSamurai’ here from the old hairloss talk forum. Every time I tried to click on the website it wouldn’t let me, seems down or defunct. So here I am.

Do you mean to say that the idea that they’re making mental notes on my hair is my projection?

I hope that is the point you are trying to make! As it’s a good one. I don’t think anyone is making mental notes on my hair and it’s good to remember that. However, the biggest problem for me is that my couple of friends who saw it were both shocked at how much hair I had actually lost. The reality is that my hair loss is more noticeable to others and in some ways that is very frustrating. I feel like I have shot myself in the foot in that respect. And I’m beating myself up further because I did this as I hoped it would be less noticeable.

I think I’m learning a lesson that until you get to nw5, you may as well keep your hair short on the sides and keep the tuft of hair on the top to use as a bit of cover. I’m definitely at that awkward phase of hair loss when it now is apparent that it’s too early to buzz but when it was grown out, I was feeling it was time to buzz. I simply can’t win. Yet, comparing the two, I do feel having a bit of coverage up there is going to be better.

Im feeling better about the look overall today. My beard will make it less noticeable too. So is really a matter of patience, both in waiting for the hair and beard to grow. This whole episode will be good for me I think. I’m glad I know what it looks like. And when I grow my hair out again I will no longer be wondering.

I went to an opticians yesterday who found a mild stigmatism in one eye too. So I’ve ordered prescription glasses. Again, something that should soften the look overall. It’s great to have a place like this. I really believe these kind of forums are sanctuaries for us all.

Now I have to wait three months for that luxury of shitty hair again. I’ll try and enjoy the ride though. Part of me is tempted to shave down again and keep the look going. But the frontal island makes it look quite severe. I ironically think it will look better when I’m closer nw5.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21018

Post by rclark » 7 months ago

This is definitely a good time for experimenting. Most people are on vacation or taking off due to the holidays.

I just buzzed mine down, because now I'm growing my beard out again.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21019

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

rclark wrote:
7 months ago
This is definitely a good time for experimenting. Most people are on vacation or taking off due to the holidays.

I just buzzed mine down, because now I'm growing my beard out again.
Yeah, exactly. Although I hadn't picked this exact time I just intuitively did it at the start of the hols. As time goes on, I'm getting more used to the look. As of this evening, I'm actually considering sticking with the shaved head look a bit longer instead of growing back straight away.

The overall reception from the few people in my life is good. A girl who I've been dating on and off was really excited by the look, I could tell it was really authentic as well which was nice to see.

Just waiting on that beard growth now too. I feel by the two week mark (starting from Sat, my beard should be looking half decent). I believe just as God was cruel for creating baldness, he was kind to give us the ability to grow a beard. It's like he said, 'I'm going to take away your arrogance, but I'm going to let you keep your dignity'!

I have glasses arriving in early January too. I will be a beard and glasses shaved head brother.

One of the funniest things I have experienced is that for people who don't know you, it's actually relieving to spend time around them. Because they have no reference point for how you looked before and there is no reaction.

To be honest, from a limited period of time I have spent on the streets with my shaved head, I feel some may have been a bit intimated by it, others don't really notice. No hot girls checking me out, yet :D

Do you have any reference point for how long it takes to grow out say a number 1 to a reasonable length, eg having enough on top to style a little with wax?

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I finally buzzed my head

#21030

Post by scorpiolove » 7 months ago

Thanks for the info on HairLossTalk hope4hair, I thought it was just my computer.

Welcome to impact.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21032

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

Thanks Scorpio.

Just realised this forum is more or less dead looking at the last post dates. What is it with a lack of active forums for balding / bald guys to vent on? Especially now HairlossTalk is down.

Guess I'll have to move into reddit. You would have this or another forum (not sly bald guys) would be busy given the billions of balding out there.

Maybe we're just the neurotic ones.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21052

Post by Johnson » 7 months ago

Hell yes!

You've shown balls to shave it.

Pretty much everyone with hair loss anxiety should shave at least once in their life to see if its really so bad not having hair.

When I shaved mine I had a weight lifted as I still looked decent and didn't feel as though it hurt my life in anyway.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21124

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

Johnson wrote:
7 months ago
Hell yes!

You've shown balls to shave it.

Pretty much everyone with hair loss anxiety should shave at least once in their life to see if its really so bad not having hair.

When I shaved mine I had a weight lifted as I still looked decent and didn't feel as though it hurt my life in anyway.
Thanks man!

Yeah, it’s definitely worth shaving at least once. As you say, you do realize you have nothing to worry about. The reaction from my friends and family has been very positive and there were no surprised / over the top reactions. I made it out to be a massive deal in my head but the reaction was very understated and that was it, I was surprised

I was recently away on holiday and had my photo taken with my friend out and about. Honestly, I look and feel so much better then before. From the photos alone I actually feel more handsome and confident. When I look in the mirror it’s different, I don’t feel I look ten times better but I’m happy with it.

Looking at my posts in this thread, I can see that I’m much happier with it now. I think it’s partly the passage of time but also finding a look that works for me. I think a number 1 with some beard is the better look for me versus 0.5 and no facial hair, that looked somewhat neo-nazi.

All that said, it’s been interesting as the hair slowly grows out. I’m considering whether to keep the look or grow it out again. I’m curious about growing it out, at least now knowing I can shave and it looks good shaved. And also knowing if I get frustrated with how it looks I can compare that to my shaved look. Definitely with a shaved head, the associated emotions are relief, freedom and growing confidence versus the ‘how bad does my recession look today’, ‘can they see my bald patch’, and so on.

If I’m being honest, I do think the shaved look has aged me a little, by a few years. That’s not necessarily a net negative but there is a sense of lost youth and it is something I grapple with a bit. When you lose your hair and decide to shave, you are really transforming from boy to man. Guys who don’t have hair-loss or still haven’t shaved do rely on their hair for their confidence (without even realizing it) and it’s only once you get to the other shore that you realize you genuinely can feel more confident knowing you don’t rely on something so fleeting.

Having a shaved head and feeling confident and free is a great feeling that I believe only other bald / shaved guys can understand, it truly is character building. People always said they felt more confident / better and I thought it was BS but I can say that it’s true.

I also look a bit tougher and more masculine which isn’t a bad thing either.

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I finally buzzed my head

#21131

Post by Johnson » 7 months ago

I don't know you but from the sounds of it I think you should keep it shaved. If you like the look and everyone is positive then it seems a no-brainer.

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#21140

Post by Rudiger » 7 months ago

I'll give you a serious benefit of the doubt that you actually look fine bald, as one of the top 5% (or even rarer) of guys who manage to pull it off (unless you're black or really tanned? Because then it's more like top 20%)

However this just sounds like it's straight from a Bald Cope pamphlet:
Hope4Hair wrote:
7 months ago
When you lose your hair and decide to shave, you are really transforming from boy to man.
So great if you actually look better (though then it was hardly a difficult or tough decision to make anyway? so not seeing how that would equate to maturity regardless, seems like the easiest option really) but for the majority of guys, it's a real step down in aesthetics, for me I just couldn't push the shaving idea on others as being a solution that represents growing up and making this great transformation in to a real man or anything. Depending on the situation, it can definitely mean giving up and in most cases it is, I'd only agree with it once all options are exhausted, including a hair transplant, and hair is still just too thin to be remotely convincing, then fine, shave it. But it's just never going to represent transforming in to a man, or intelligence or wisdom or anything like that, just that there were no options left, and of course you would have kept the hair if not forced out of the game.

Recently a good friend of mine who's sly and NW6, randomly brought up me shaving it in front of a female he likes, I was kinda pissed off, which I made clear, that the 3/4 years I've known him and while his own hair and shaving has come up, he could tell it's a touchy subject for me (or at least it definitely was, and for some reason becoming less so) and has never mentioned it, until now, in front of someone else (she's also a pretty good friend so it wasn't a stranger judging me or anything, but still not nice).

Anyway I felt comfortable talking about it after my initial acknowledgement of his bad form, albeit he was drunk, and then I moved on and talked about treatments, importance of hair etc. He denied knowing anything about minoxidil and even Regaine? Despite the fact that he's mentioned minoxidil before to me, and not as regaine, literally said "minoxidil", but in front of a girl he likes, suddenly has never heard of it? I decided to be nice and not call him out on this, but I felt this odd behaviour was quickly explained- he then started talking about how he feels great being bald, always wanted rid of it anyway (I mean, c'mon :lol: ) and looks better now, she of course chimed in "you DO look better bald". Also she's been resisting his advances repeatedly for like 2 years and she isn't high quality or anything, she's around his level, they get on very well and both single, yet he apparently looks great bald. OK.

Anyway he was pretending to not even know what regaine is (which is regularly advertised on TV and in print) because he was going overboard in his denial that hair has never bothered him and he's never thought about treatments. But I was also wondering, why after these years of knowing him well and having lots of private talks, he brings up me shaving it now in front of someone else? He's not a cruel guy like that. Well, I remembered the last 2 or 3 times I've seen him, especially earlier that night when I hadn't seen him in maybe near 2 months and my hair had improved considerably, he was really looking at it, I could feel it every time I looked away from him, and unfortunately he's one of those ignorant types who does look at your hair sometimes when speaking to you (hate that). And y'know, he almost looked, pissed off, furrowed brow, like "hang on... what's going on here?!"

So the main point I'm getting at here with the transparency of this all- for years on these forums I've heard guys say things that initially sounded ridiculous to me like "bald guys love to drag other guys down" and over time I started getting more open to that idea, and now it was displayed right in front of me, no less than from a good friend of mine (who has his faults as explained but still mainly a great guy).

He suggested I shave in front of someone else, he wants me to be bald like him, just as my hair takes a significant improvement he says this for the first time it in front of someone else he likes to show that he's been strong in shaving and I'm weak (he also had a similar sentiment as what you're writing, taking control and owning it with maturity) and pretending he's always been secure about it and never worried about treatments like insecure little me.

Now although I don't think he's consciously and intentionally trying to drag me down, on some level he was, being a baldite himself he'd definitely notice miniature hairs, improved temple and density, and he definitely didn't seem happy about it. That girl has also openly flirted with me (albeit probably jokingly, but not in his mind, I could tell he hated it and even removed himself completely at times) and this all could cause a combination of things in his mind, causing him to act irrationally such as blabbering out about someone's insecurity in such a way.

The timing was just too bizarre, my hair can be up and down in terms of progress and regression, but this is definitely progress, and NOW he chooses this time, to tell me I should just shave it. Really transparent.

With relation to you and what I've quoted- I still don't think you should kid yourself, it's not a transformation or mature decision, it's all you're left with. Unrealistically positive messages just make you feel worse in the long run, as well as holding on to reasons that may make you feel smarter than other guys still on treatments or keeping their imperfect hair. If you genuinely look better then great, but let's not pretend you'd be shaving it if you had the great hair line you had when you were 17.

Side note- I've noticed recently the importance of a thick neck generally, but especially with bald guys. You mentioned looking more masculine, basically get it thick as possible without looking ridiculous, there's plenty of videos on neck training (Alpha Destiny being the most famous, but Jeff Nippard does a concise video) and I know plenty of guys saying that you can get a thick neck in only several months of neck training (10min routine 3 times a week, or up to 5 or 6 if you can, rest days aren't really required), I'm starting it myself soon.
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I finally buzzed my head

#21168

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

Thanks for your input Rudiger. I'm not saying going bald is a walk in the park and further more, in a number of my posts in this threads I've given a pretty balanced account of my own hairloss struggle and shaving, so this isn't some kind of pie in the sky fantasy of the greatness of balding. And hell, a little bit of positivity sometimes won't kill you ;)

For anyone who gives a shit or who was following this thread so far, today was my first day of work. Now to be honest, my hair line has already grown back quite a lot, from 0.5 on the 21st December, so its been exactly 10 days. I'm not even sure what the length is, but it's already starting to look worse then it did. I'm guessing it must be a 1.5 or even a 2 already. Over the period of the last 10 days, the first few days when I had no beard it looked pretty stark - I did feel like some kind of neo-nazi / concentration camp prisoner, but after getting a bit of stubble and it growing out a bit more, it sort of looked much better. Now it's starting to look a bit fuzzy as its grown out, so I think I'm beginning to realise the sweetspot for my buzzcut which is a number 1. That's the closest I'll get to a NW1. xD

So like I say, today was the first day of work for me, and to be honest, the thought had been weighing on my mind somewhat, in terms of what people may say, whether I may get any comments etc. I guess I was fearing the worst. Well, the reaction was much much better then expected. Fortunately only about half the office was back today (circa 250 staff), so it was also good to 'break in' the new look without too many people around.

The first comment was from an older guy in an another team, who said it looked 'streamlined', which is a kind of lighthearted way of saying he could see my new haircut. I said yes, and joked that I wanted to join his team as everyone in his team as everyone in his team had a bald / beard kind of look. So, no big deal. I had already spoken to and seen a lot of people who had either not noticed or didn't say anything. The female colleague in my team (sorry actually the first comment of the day) said she liked my funky new haircut which was really kind of her. I chuckled inside and felt like saying 'it's called going bald and buzzing woman! - a real funky haircut indeed'

I got a skype message from another friend saying I looked like a character from a football hooligan film but said it looked good etc. Again, quite amusing and I actually enjoy this kind of feedback. I think people sort of realise you have some balls to do it and it captures people's intrerest. Then another guy came up to me and said 'I see you have taken the plunge' which I actually really respected, it was kind of like he acknowledged that I felt I needed to do it, and I was like yeah, thats right, I took the plunge. Another guy also said it looked good, asked me why I shaved etc.

One other work friend, this young ish guy who I go to the gym with said I looked like Jesse Pinkman..! Then later, when I tried on his glasses, said I looked like a professer, for fuck's sake!

It's actually funny, I think all the comments came from men, the women either didn't notice or were too polite to say anything. Anyway, looking back, I was actually relieved by the reaction after expecting the worst. It was really positive and there was a bit of light banter as above but nothing nasty. Another guy, a bald guy came up to me and was very complimentary. I guess he understands what its like going bald so I think he wanted me to feel good about it, which was super kind of him. Anyway, the day had kind of gone really well for me, and it was a relief to make a start. If anything, what I realise that EVEN IF someone makes a comment, its not actually a big deal. It's usually a bit of a conversation starter and they're just showing interest in my new look.

Anyway, I had really kind of let my guard down and I had finally gone home. My Dad was home, and guess what the old bald fucker said?

He kind of said you are starting to look like Prince William. Motherfucker! I mean, of all fucking people. That kind of hurt. He was just joking, and the old guy is a bald fuck himself but still, come on Dad, that was a low fucking blow.

Going back to the women thing, I swear not a single girl even looked at my head, not a single one! I honestly don't think they really give much of a shit, not anywhere near as much as we all think. Literally every single comment in the office bar my female colleague in the morning was from a male. It's the other men who are all insecure about their looks that build the insecurity, it's kind of like a disease. The other nice was thing was, fuck it, now other people can actually see I'm balding in the front, it may be even more obvious. But in some weird way that is actually a kind of blessing. Because you literally have nothing left to hide from anyone. You are as you are and no fucks are given anymore.

What an interesting day to get all these observations and comments! Like I say, it was a very polite. well taken reception so far. Still bracing myself for some other comments as new people come into the office but lets see. It's also worth noting that a lot of guys I spoke to didn't say a single thing and were too polite to say anything presumably.

My Dad probably was the only guy who said something that was kind of below the belt. Looking back, I actually really enjoyed the attention on the whole, perhaps that sounds kind of weird but I really enjoyed it, all the reactions, the comments, what people said. Usually the impression I get from forums is that people are ultra sensitive and funny about people making comments but my experience so far has been different. I guess I have been fortunate so far though, that the comments have all been very good natured. Perhaps also I felt there was support for my new look and it was a far cry from some kind of humiliating nightmare that I had somehow subconsciously envisaged.

Think I'm going to trim back to a number 1 on the weekend and get my 10 day beard sharpened up a bit. Tune in for another adventure of your buzzed brother in the field soon!

Hope you guys enjoyed, thanks for reading.

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#21173

Post by Rudiger » 7 months ago

Well that's good that it went fine, I would say however- all these comments were pretty inoffensive (though I still wouldn't react well to them :D ) but there's a fine line when it starts to turn nasty, and things can get bad from there if you play along and don't make it clear you can be sensitive about it. I actually don't see why the Prince William thing was so bad, but then I wouldn't like a comment such as "you took the plunge" whereas you really appreciate it (I just think that sounds like you've given up, had to be brave to do such a thing, etc, but to each their own)

I'm not trying to be dramatic it's just that I've worked in different environments with many people, and of course some bald, most guys didn't have it come up too much, but others at some point, just drew a fucking target right on their dome. I know it doesn't help that often the guy as these examples get involved in ribbing and "banter", so if that's not how you are then it's less of a concern, but it just felt like they constantly got shit for being bald, and being sensitive about baldness myself, I could see that despite the facade, it always hurt.

Uhhh this though...
Hope4Hair wrote:
7 months ago
Going back to the women thing, I swear not a single girl even looked at my head, not a single one! I honestly don't think they really give much of a shit, not anywhere near as much as we all think. Literally every single comment in the office bar my female colleague in the morning was from a male.
Yeah, women not noticing you at all.. that's a positive

Sorry I thought that was kinda funny. But overall it actually did sound positive.
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#21176

Post by Hope4Hair » 7 months ago

Rudiger wrote:
7 months ago
Well that's good that it went fine, I would say however- all these comments were pretty inoffensive (though I still wouldn't react well to them :D ) but there's a fine line when it starts to turn nasty, and things can get bad from there if you play along and don't make it clear you can be sensitive about it. I actually don't see why the Prince William thing was so bad, but then I wouldn't like a comment such as "you took the plunge" whereas you really appreciate it (I just think that sounds like you've given up, had to be brave to do such a thing, etc, but to each their own)

I'm not trying to be dramatic it's just that I've worked in different environments with many people, and of course some bald, most guys didn't have it come up too much, but others at some point, just drew a fucking target right on their dome. I know it doesn't help that often the guy as these examples get involved in ribbing and "banter", so if that's not how you are then it's less of a concern, but it just felt like they constantly got shit for being bald, and being sensitive about baldness myself, I could see that despite the facade, it always hurt.

Uhhh this though...



Yeah, women not noticing you at all.. that's a positive

Sorry I thought that was kinda funny. But overall it actually did sound positive.
Well, I think the comments thing is more because its a new haircut, of course people are going to notice. But after a while they're used to your look and they won't say anything, give a shit. There are a number of bald guys in the office too, most respected / senior types who have a lot of gravitas so I don't see it being an issue.

I think 'took the plunge' was just a way of saying I was brave, as if he was saying well done and I took that positively. It's also about the tone of voice and the way it comes across, he didn't say it in a menacing way but in quite a genuine way. I read somewhere that if someone says something to you that is neutral, its down to you to take it in a positive or negative way. People that take neutral comments in a positive way tend to come across as more likable and confident.

I have worked in other environments were being bald was / would be harder. Namely sales organisations that barely have any older staff. I think the takeaway here is to work for organisations that are larger and have a greater number of staff in their middle ages. That way you will have a lot of older / respected guys who are bald / balding. Further more, the calibre of the organisation also makes a difference. If you work in a place with lots of neanderthals, its not surprising they would make disparaging comments, versus being in a more professional and cultured environment.

And you completely twisted my words about the women thing - they didn't notice my new hair, but I still flirted with a few of my normal ones and it was like another day! But I like your joke.. xD

Happy New Year to you Rudiger. This forum is fucking dead, is it not?

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#21177

Post by Rudiger » 7 months ago

Hope4Hair wrote:
7 months ago
And you completely twisted my words about the women thing - they didn't notice my new hair, but I still flirted with a few of my normal ones and it was like another day! But I like your joke.. xD

Happy New Year to you Rudiger. This forum is fucking dead, is it not?
I did indeed! I first read it as you meant it, then I thought "wait, not being noticed... is that not a problem?" but yes just a joke

Thanks and to you as well. It has been particularly dead over the holidays which I think is normal, but overall it's still not launched off in popularity, I don't know, like most here I go through phases of not posting much at all.

I'm still pretty comfortable only coming on to maybe only a handful of posts, and on a good day maybe 15-20, I don't think I'd want it any busier than that, and even with that kinda slow activity I still lose track of everything going on.

But yeah there's still normally more activity than recently, that's for sure.
Look, fat...

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