After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Discuss how hair loss has affected you, someone you know, or a public figure.
mombaska
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After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by mombaska » 3 weeks ago

Hello guys, so I went from super weird socially disabled nerd at 19-20 to a regular guy by now, from not being able to hook up with any girl whatsoever to getting from time to time really cute girls and I am really thankful to the community. I have been fighting anxiety and depression since a teenager, but now my hair loss is getting really bad and I am on a situation where it's : option A : hair fibers + hat vs option B : shaving.

The irony is that with hair fibers no one noticed anything for the moment... but I am just thinking about it constantly, it feels like a death sentence, coming to a point where finally I have enough personality to get girls, it's like I am gonna get thrown back to ground 0, because not only I am short (it never bothered me before today) but also I am not that good looking...some girls find me ugly, other girls find me cute.

I am just so afraid I'll never again be able to hook up with a girl I find attractive, and to be forced to live single or with someone I am not attracted to, at all. It was so hard for me to begin with, and It's not like I am getting consistent results, I am just like everyone, fighting my way through.

I have always fought depression and anxiety with no drugs and no therapy, just sport, self help and some meditation, but now I start to feel overwhelmed by the situation and I am thinking to go to a therapist, but I would like advice from the community, because I have learned a lot from it.

I will very soon have a degree in medicine, and undergo LASIK to get rid of glasses, so I should be at the peak of my life, yet it feels like death.
It happened that I attracted girls I would have never dreamed of, but it's inconsistent, and now I am terrified that everything is over. Yes I know it sound like overdramatization, but it's just because I come from a background where it was really hard for me.

I come from the hell called loneliness, rejection, panic attacks and I do not wish to return there.

Thanks!

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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by pjhair » 3 weeks ago

mombaska wrote:
3 weeks ago
Hello guys, so I went from super weird socially disabled nerd at 19-20 to a regular guy by now, from not being able to hook up with any girl whatsoever to getting from time to time really cute girls and I am really thankful to the community. I have been fighting anxiety and depression since a teenager, but now my hair loss is getting really bad and I am on a situation where it's : option A : hair fibers + hat vs option B : shaving.

The irony is that with hair fibers no one noticed anything for the moment... but I am just thinking about it constantly, it feels like a death sentence, coming to a point where finally I have enough personality to get girls, it's like I am gonna get thrown back to ground 0, because not only I am short (it never bothered me before today) but also I am not that good looking...some girls find me ugly, other girls find me cute.

I am just so afraid I'll never again be able to hook up with a girl I find attractive, and to be forced to live single or with someone I am not attracted to, at all. It was so hard for me to begin with, and It's not like I am getting consistent results, I am just like everyone, fighting my way through.

I have always fought depression and anxiety with no drugs and no therapy, just sport, self help and some meditation, but now I start to feel overwhelmed by the situation and I am thinking to go to a therapist, but I would like advice from the community, because I have learned a lot from it.

I will very soon have a degree in medicine, and undergo LASIK to get rid of glasses, so I should be at the peak of my life, yet it feels like death.
It happened that I attracted girls I would have never dreamed of, but it's inconsistent, and now I am terrified that everything is over. Yes I know it sound like overdramatization, but it's just because I come from a background where it was really hard for me.

I come from the hell called loneliness, rejection, panic attacks and I do not wish to return there.

Thanks!
What meds have you tried so far? What are the results, if any?
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Afro_Vacancy
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 3 weeks ago

mombaska wrote:
3 weeks ago
Hello guys, so I went from super weird socially disabled nerd at 19-20 to a regular guy by now, from not being able to hook up with any girl whatsoever to getting from time to time really cute girls and I am really thankful to the community. I have been fighting anxiety and depression since a teenager, but now my hair loss is getting really bad and I am on a situation where it's : option A : hair fibers + hat vs option B : shaving.

The irony is that with hair fibers no one noticed anything for the moment... but I am just thinking about it constantly, it feels like a death sentence, coming to a point where finally I have enough personality to get girls, it's like I am gonna get thrown back to ground 0, because not only I am short (it never bothered me before today) but also I am not that good looking...some girls find me ugly, other girls find me cute.

I am just so afraid I'll never again be able to hook up with a girl I find attractive, and to be forced to live single or with someone I am not attracted to, at all. It was so hard for me to begin with, and It's not like I am getting consistent results, I am just like everyone, fighting my way through.

I have always fought depression and anxiety with no drugs and no therapy, just sport, self help and some meditation, but now I start to feel overwhelmed by the situation and I am thinking to go to a therapist, but I would like advice from the community, because I have learned a lot from it.

I will very soon have a degree in medicine, and undergo LASIK to get rid of glasses, so I should be at the peak of my life, yet it feels like death.
It happened that I attracted girls I would have never dreamed of, but it's inconsistent, and now I am terrified that everything is over. Yes I know it sound like overdramatization, but it's just because I come from a background where it was really hard for me.

I come from the hell called loneliness, rejection, panic attacks and I do not wish to return there.

Thanks!
Hey man, welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing.

From the sound of things, you may not have infinite strength but you have a lot of strength. You've overcome social anxiety to date a lot of girls. You're getting a medical degree, which is one of the hardest degree to get. Good job. In which country are you getting your degree?

You've also learned meditation and sport, and you're looking into getting a therapist and LASIK, you really have a lot of strength.

But not infinite strength, and given that, you need to make effective choices.

Why are you *not* considering finasteride / Propecia, minoxidil, and a hair transplant?

****

Separately, I relate to your pain. I first noticed my hair loss while at the gym working out. I was losing fat, gaining muscle ... And losing my hair line. I thought "one step forward, one step back, fuck my life." I panicked and ended up here.

But my hair is better now, I feel better and women treat me better too.
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blackg
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by blackg » 3 weeks ago

Welcome to the forum.

I don't mean to sound blunt but sometimes you have to embrace the darkness and misery too.
There are constructive ways to deal with the depression and anxiety that hair loss brings, believe me I know all too well.

Apart from that; the only advice I can give you is that nobody cares more about your hair than you.
You may think that people are judging your hair line every minute of the day but with experience I've found this not to be the case.

Welcome again!

Oh, one more piece of advice: You should definitely see a therapist. I've been seeing one for the last couple of years now.

I started out seeing a late 20's female therapist but I had to change as my attraction to her was becoming a distraction and I wasn't getting the full benefits from therapy.
It didn't help that she often sat cross-legged and showed a generous amount of leg.

Anyway now I see a middle-aged boomer male and the psychological therapy is really helping.
I love how for one whole hour it is someone's job to listen to me and give advice to me only, knowing my situation.
This is very beneficial. Feeling like you matter.
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Rudiger » 3 weeks ago

blackg wrote:
3 weeks ago
I don't mean to sound blunt but sometimes you have to embrace the darkness and misery too.
There are constructive ways to deal with the depression and anxiety that hair loss brings, believe me I know all too well.
You're an alcoholic.
me me me me I'm the omniscient and compassionate Rudiger

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blackg
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by blackg » 3 weeks ago

Rudiger wrote:
3 weeks ago
You're an alcoholic.
Well, I guess, but I've been off it for 5 nights straight!
I've done pretty well.

Only it's now Friday afternoon down here, I finish work in 2 hours and it's stinking hot.
There's only one option for tonight...
Last edited by blackg 3 weeks ago, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 3 weeks ago

blackg wrote:
3 weeks ago
Well, I guess, but I've been off it for 5 nights straight!

Only, it's now Friday afternoon down here, I finish work in 2 hours and it's stinking hot.
So there's only one option for tonight...
Beer, wine, or spirits?
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blackg
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by blackg » 3 weeks ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
3 weeks ago
Beer, wine, or spirits?
Just beer, mate, only beer. VB. Victoria Bitter.

You might've had one when you were down here?
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Afro_Vacancy
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 3 weeks ago

blackg wrote:
3 weeks ago
Just beer, mate, only beer. VB. Victoria Bitter.

You might've had one when you were down here?
I think I did. I liked Hahn super dry and Kosciuszko.

I remember Australians were really into ciders and sparkling red wines, I ended up liking those too. I had a wonderful weekend at a winery in the Barrossa valley.
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Rudiger » 3 weeks ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
3 weeks ago
Beer, wine, or spirits?
You're so open and accepting, what a great fella. Just nicely encourage the guy to drive his liver through a meat grinder.

It's fucking ridiculous that you actually think you're a decent person, and in this day and age you'd actually be seen as a nice guy (by fucking idiots but still) just trying to relate to others. There's nothing more harmful, and the fact you only do it to feel/look like a decent person, but your only concern is yourself.
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kingmanlet
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by kingmanlet » 3 weeks ago

Hey man, as a male hair loss at such a young age can be very disturbing and depressing. I was 18 starting to loose mine and at 20, it looked like a 65 year old. I became a hat prisoner, got anxiety, depression, etc.. i got to a point where i started to embrace the misery and darkness. as mentioned above. if you think you will constantly be thinking of people noticing your micro pigmentation then personally, i wouldn't do it. you'll be living in a prison you created.. embrace what you have. you could have no legs. be grateful. i know that sounds corny as fuck but its true.

When my balding was so bad i got to a point where i embraced it. i decide i was not going to live this life where i was insecure and would let my hair effect me. also i will mention at that point i started practicing hard semen retention and quit watching porn. it changed my life. (not saying it will work for everyone but it helped me) what I'm saying is, if all you focus on is how bad your hair is, then that's all you will focus on, you will be missing out on a lot.

Also, if you have not even hopped on any sort of medicine then you have no idea if it is over for you. (And personally i dont feel that bad if you havent even tried any medicine) i get you're in a dark place, ive been in a similar hell. but you can pull through. you choose what you do. good luck on your journey my friend. welcome to the forums..

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blackg
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by blackg » 3 weeks ago

Rudiger wrote:
3 weeks ago
You're so open and accepting, what a great fella. Just nicely encourage the guy to drive his liver through a meat grinder.

It's fucking ridiculous that you actually think you're a decent person, and in this day and age you'd actually be seen as a nice guy (by fucking idiots but still) just trying to relate to others. There's nothing more harmful, and the fact you only do it to feel/look like a decent person, but your only concern is yourself.
You're reading too much into it, Rudi. We're just having a casual conversation here about casual drinking.
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Afro_Vacancy
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by Afro_Vacancy » 3 weeks ago

blackg wrote:
3 weeks ago
You're reading too much into it, Rudi. We're just having a casual conversation here about casual drinking.
How much do you drink?
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blackg
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by blackg » 3 weeks ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
3 weeks ago
How much do you drink?
When I'm on it only about six beers a night so it's all good.

Rudi is just looking for any angle to make you look dishonorable.
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mombaska
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Re: After lots of progress, hair loss is now destroying me mentally at 25

Post by mombaska » 3 weeks ago

Afro_Vacancy wrote:
3 weeks ago
Hey man, welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing.

From the sound of things, you may not have infinite strength but you have a lot of strength. You've overcome social anxiety to date a lot of girls. You're getting a medical degree, which is one of the hardest degree to get. Good job. In which country are you getting your degree?

You've also learned meditation and sport, and you're looking into getting a therapist and LASIK, you really have a lot of strength.

But not infinite strength, and given that, you need to make effective choices.

Why are you *not* considering finasteride / Propecia, minoxidil, and a hair transplant?

****

Separately, I relate to your pain. I first noticed my hair loss while at the gym working out. I was losing fat, gaining muscle ... And losing my hair line. I thought "one step forward, one step back, fuck my life." I panicked and ended up here.

But my hair is better now, I feel better and women treat me better too.

Thanks for all the responses. Medical degree in France

I tried minoxidil 1 year and didn't notice a difference. As for propecia I read that it can cause and worsen depression so it should be avoided for patient with mental health history...

I absolutely consider hair transplant, I even have a non limited budget, will pay wathever is needed, but thing is I have a diffuse hair loss, meaning my hair line is intact, but I am just loosing in density like a motherfucker.

I have very dark curly hair, so they hide really well my hair loss, last year with 15% of my hair left (estimated by a doctor), my hair loss was hardly noticeable and I only was forced to use hair fibers since August 2019.

I had a skype with DR.muresanu from Hattingen, he told me that from a first look I wasn't the ideal patient because of the big norwood I was becoming soon, but he still would like to see me face to face to make a more precise estimation. So I am looking forward for this.

Again thanks for the responses.
Last edited by mombaska 3 weeks ago, edited 1 time in total.

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