Hairblues wrote: ↑
2 weeks ago
I think that okcupid chart is true of dating apps (and I believe it’s soly based on dating apps) but I don’t think this is true of ‘in person’ encounters.
This is a very important point, and to be honest, I still don't know what to think. Maybe you (or others) can provide an opinion, ideally based on specific examples.
On one hand, I'm thinking anonymous votings or dating apps are where women feel free to go for what (little) they really are attracted to and whatever is below that level (and necessarily many will have to go there) is a mere pragmatic compromise that is always at risk of actual, genuine desires coming back to haunt the woman and her relationship. And it's obvious that even barely average-looking women have to chance for sex with (at least somewhat) hot men, if they are cheeky and outgoing enough ( I know several first hand examples, and from one I know that she always ends up crying, because that 8 only wanted sex, the stereotype does exist), so unlike with most settling men who will most likely never get the opportunity, cheating is an option. Then there is also Fred whose opinion I value a lot, and he basically say that your SMV online is your SMV everywhere else. It's probably his most crushing statement ever to me, and I know he means it.
On the other hand, I have seen Tinder-accounts of (average) women. It's silly how many men (quite a lot of good-looking ones at that) there are and how they swipe right on all woman, especially if they are below a 7 or 8, and even the 7-8s are or have to be generous. Honestly, I can perfectly understand how you can get greedy and hyper-selective as a woman presented with this situation, I would definitely be the same.
The question is: is this pickiness really definitive? An old friend of mine whom I've been getting back in touch with is of the opinion that while a woman's standards for beauty in man are indeedhigher than they are for (most) men in women, he is convinced that there are more elements or tools a man can put to use to make a woman (also phyiscally) attracted (whereas a woman's attractiveness is somewhat set in stone based on the initial, more lenient rating of attractiveness, at least for most men). I respect his view, not only because he is the smartest and most eloquent person I know, but also because he's anything but a cock and provider-type and has been quite successful with women without being a Chad (though certainly not the 5 he rated himself when I basically forced him to).
Speaking of cucks, tastes and standards...yesterday, another friend of mine had an event with his company and after some drinks, they started discussing a couple that had met each other in that same firm. One guy said that after they'd got together, he had to encourage the male a lot, as he felt inferior, not good enough for her etc. IT's where my friend (who has been in a relationship for 10 or more years and he's anything but bitter, but to some degree familiar with and interested in things I also discuss here) lost it, especially as that guy is tall, atheletic, has a full head of hair, a good job and a decent face, whereas the woman is, well, very average and certainly not ABOVE his league (doubt she thinks so, otherwise she'd not have picked him). But it shows how little recognition most (Swiss) men below, say, a 7 get. And I notice how much it's getting to me as well, I'm finding increasingly difficult to know where I stand in the midst of m lack of success, my own ciritical view of my looks, but then also my standards & taste & pride. I've shown a woman I recently met to two users here, and while a few years ago I'd admittedly already have thought "ambitious, but well, what's the point in going below this level anyway?", I'm no longer even trying.