I don't care anymore

Discuss how hair loss has affected you, someone you know, or a public figure.
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Xexos
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I don't care anymore

#2132

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

I feel like i don't care anymore. My life is already over anyways, how would being full bald make a difference ? Affect my self-esteem, confidence? They are already non existent. Make me hate myself ? I already do. Affect my social life ? I don't have it and i don't leave my room or see anyone outside my family. Hurt my chances with women ? I already gave up on women since i was 16 and i'll never bother with women or approach them because it would be pointless.

I'm basically already dead, with or without that shitty pathetic rat nest on my head. It won't make any difference and nothing will change. I'm just waiting to die at this point so nothing matters to me. You can come and cut off my arm in front of me and i won't care, because NOTHING matters to me. Having hair is shit tons better than being bald, but i'm pathetic and worthless anyways, so it won't matter.

I still hope for a cure though because a lot of great people (like some people here) really need and deserve it. People who are successful and worth something and are making an impact on this world. People who have dreams, goals, passions and actually want to do something with their lives. people who have hope and love. Those are the ones who deserve the cure and i really wish the cure will come out soon to save them. Hair loss is an obstacle in their interesting journy of life, so it needs to be taken care of.

For pathetic, worthless and dead-inside people like me though ? It doesn't matter. I'll just not see anyone and continue rotting in my room like always and just wear a hat when i'm outside.

But my life won't change much because i never even had a life to begin with.

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JasonStatham
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#2139

Post by JasonStatham » 2 years ago

Have you tried to just buzz your head at least once?

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blackg
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#2146

Post by blackg » 2 years ago

Mate youu are not worthless and I don't like to see you this way.
You are from Egypt so English would be your second language.
You write (and I'm assuming) speak English very well.
This is am accomplishment.
I couldn’t learn Arabic, not at this stage in my life.

I have also seen a photo you posted on the old site and you aren't bad looking.
Hang in there mate.
Roe v. Wade has got to stay

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Xexos
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I don't care anymore

#2152

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

JasonStatham wrote: 2 years ago Have you tried to just buzz your head at least once?
I don't feel that way entirely because of hair loss, but it does contribute to it. The point of my post was that no matter how much hair i have, i would still be worthless and being slick bald won't affect my life much because i don't have a life, so i don't care anymore.

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#2153

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

blackg wrote: 2 years ago Mate youu are not worthless and I don't like to see you this way.
You are from Egypt so English would be your second language.
You write (and I'm assuming) speak English very well.
This is am accomplishment.
I couldn’t learn Arabic, not at this stage in my life.

I have also seen a photo you posted on the old site and you aren't bad looking.
Hang in there mate.
Some people are naturally worthless. They are talentless, genetically inferior, etc. And others are worthless because of their actions and things they done.

I'm both of those types. Worthless because of being extremely talentless and suck at everything (without exception) and being genetically inferior and at the same time i did really horrible, pathetic things that i'll never ever forgive myself for. I'm the epitome of worthlessness. Hair or bald won't matter because i already lost anyways and there's no hope.

And i'm not saying that i'm worthless to sound edgy and gather attention, i'm truly serious about what i'm saying. So please don't mix me with those edgy teens and insane young people who don't even have problems and just want to attention-whore for no reason.

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#2154

Post by blackg » 2 years ago

Stan22 wrote: 2 years ago Some people are naturally worthless. They are talentless, genetically inferior, etc. And others are worthless because of their actions and things they done.

I'm both of those types. Worthless because of being extremely talentless and suck at everything (without exception) and being genetically inferior and at the same time i did really horrible, pathetic things that i'll never ever forgive myself for. I'm the epitome of worthlessness. Hair or bald won't matter because i already lost anyways and there's no hope.

And i'm not saying that i'm worthless to sound edgy and gather attention, i'm truly serious about what i'm saying. So please don't mix me with those edgy teens and insane young people who don't even have problems and just want to attention-whore for no reason.
Okay.
I can still relate as I've also done some things in the past that I can't seem to escape from. Nor do I deserve an escape.

The guilt is something I live with every day, that's why drinking helps me to self medicate.
I could tell you more via PM if you like and you can always PM me.

For now I will just ask you one thing: please don't think about taking your life.
Roe v. Wade has got to stay

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Xexos
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#2155

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

blackg wrote: 2 years ago Okay.
I can still relate as I've also done some things in the past that I can't seem to escape from. Nor do I deserve an escape.

The guilt is something I live with every day, that's why drinking helps me to self medicate.
I could tell you more via PM if you like and you can always PM me.

For now I will just ask you one thing: please don't think about taking your life.
I won't ever commit suicide, there's no point in doing it. I'll just wait to die.

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JasonStatham
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#2156

Post by JasonStatham » 2 years ago

Stan22 wrote: 2 years ago I don't feel that way entirely because of hair loss, but it does contribute to it. The point of my post was that no matter how much hair i have, i would still be worthless and being slick bald won't affect my life much because i don't have a life, so i don't care anymore.
Again. Have you tried to buzzcut? You are stuck and do nothing. So let's get forward a bit.

Buzzcut your head tonight and show us a picture (pixel your face if you want) and tell us after 1 week what exactly happened/changed.

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Xexos
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#2157

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

JasonStatham wrote: 2 years ago Again. Have you tried to buzzcut? You are stuck and do nothing. So let's get forward a bit.

Buzzcut your head tonight and show us a picture (pixel your face if you want) and tell us after 1 week what exactly happened/changed.
My hair is already buzzed, you can find the pics in my thread in the solutions section. I buzzed it completely before, like there was almost no hair and i went to the beach one of those three times and nothing happened and no one commented on it or said anything.

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#2177

Post by JasonStatham » 2 years ago

Stan22 wrote: 2 years ago My hair is already buzzed, you can find the pics in my thread in the solutions section. I buzzed it completely before, like there was almost no hair and i went to the beach one of those three times and nothing happened and no one commented on it or said anything.
But I guess you felt something? How you like it'? When I buzzed for the first time last November, I liked it for the first 2-3 weeks because I finally did something. But I went into hat prisoner quit fast after that. You said you wanted to go running more?

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Xexos
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#2187

Post by Xexos » 2 years ago

JasonStatham wrote: 2 years ago But I guess you felt something? How you like it'? When I buzzed for the first time last November, I liked it for the first 2-3 weeks because I finally did something. But I went into hat prisoner quit fast after that. You said you wanted to go running more?
I honestly didn't care back then and i continued my life as usual. I still went out without a hat and i felt that nothing was different. But a buzzed cut is WAY more different that a shaven slick bald head.

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Exodus
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#2622

Post by Exodus » 2 years ago

what bad things have you done thats unforgivable? ive done a lot of bad things because of baldness as well

mainly screamed multiple times having temper tantrums at my parents and insulting friends and family

of course i feel shitty about all ive done but i just get so fucking angry and depressed about being a short baldie. i cant contain it and have to lash out. im at least a lot better than i used to be where i was constantly angry and depressed

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#2623

Post by Admin » 2 years ago

Exodus wrote: 2 years ago what bad things have you done thats unforgivable? ive done a lot of bad things because of baldness as well

mainly screamed multiple times having temper tantrums at my parents and insulting friends and family

of course i feel shitty about all ive done but i just get so fucking angry and depressed about being a short baldie. i cant contain it and have to lash out. im at least a lot better than i used to be where i was constantly angry and depressed
I used to have temper tantrums too once my hair loss had gotten really bad and the whole world seemed to be falling apart around me.

One of my psychiatrists misdiagnosed me with borderline personality disorder because of that. But the truth was, I was at the end of my tether, and those episodes would appear like 90% of the time when a family member (on my dad's side) would twist the knife when I was at rock bottom.

This even happened during my recovery so to speak. You know how I started to see the light after I got my gynecomastia surgery. And then you have my aunt who comes into my room and notice that my chest is very flat, and it's supposed to look that way for a few months before getting back to normal.

Anyway, my aunt just starts mocking me "look at that he's as flat as an ironing board now!" There was no way around it, I knew I would lose it after she said that. There was a jar of honey in my room, I just grabbed it and smashed it to pieces on the wall.

If you take my whole story into account and what I had to go through to get out of this nightmare, and someone punches you while you're down, I believe it's a normal reaction. You don't get to repeatedly abuse someone, back them into a corner while they're already in hell and then be like "look, he's borderline!".

Mental illness is complicated, and I believe that more often than not, it's just genetics, the tragedy of life and people around you that are kicking you while you're already half-dead.
:christian-cross: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

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#2638

Post by Exodus » 2 years ago

Admin wrote: 2 years ago I used to have temper tantrums too once my hair loss had gotten really bad and the whole world seemed to be falling apart around me.

One of my psychiatrists misdiagnosed me with borderline personality disorder because of that. But the truth was, I was at the end of my tether, and those episodes would appear like 90% of the time when a family member (on my dad's side) would twist the knife when I was at rock bottom.

This even happened during my recovery so to speak. You know how I started to see the light after I got my gynecomastia surgery. And then you have my aunt who comes into my room and notice that my chest is very flat, and it's supposed to look that way for a few months before getting back to normal.

Anyway, my aunt just starts mocking me "look at that he's as flat as an ironing board now!" There was no way around it, I knew I would lose it after she said that. There was a jar of honey in my room, I just grabbed it and smashed it to pieces on the wall.

If you take my whole story into account and what I had to go through to get out of this nightmare, and someone punches you while you're down, I believe it's a normal reaction. You don't get to repeatedly abuse someone, back them into a corner while they're already in hell and then be like "look, he's borderline!".

Mental illness is complicated, and I believe that more often than not, it's just genetics, the tragedy of life and people around you that are kicking you while you're already half-dead.
jeez what did your aunt do? but yea . . . i havent gotten to destruction or violence but i've been close. just last year i was overwhelmed with anger one day because i was having really bad allergies, and just overloaded with anger at my genes and honest to god screamed at the top of my lungs while outside lol. i feel yea, when people push you when you're already down, how baldness has no sympathy, really gets my goat too. triggering as fuck :evil:

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#2650

Post by blackg » 2 years ago

Exodus wrote: 2 years ago jeez what did your aunt do? but yea . . . i havent gotten to destruction or violence but i've been close. just last year i was overwhelmed with anger one day because i was having really bad allergies, and just overloaded with anger at my genes and honest to god screamed at the top of my lungs while outside lol. i feel yea, when people push you when you're already down, how baldness has no sympathy, really gets my goat too. triggering as fuck :evil:
I have allergies too and when they play up, on top of a bad hair day, I'm an inch away from exploding.
Last edited by blackg 2 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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